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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to stop texting when a friend seems dry over messages?

34 replies

ProudAzureSquid · 26/05/2026 23:01

One of my friends has seemed a bit off over text lately. Not rude or anything, just dry enough that I’ve started feeling like I’m bothering him whenever I message.
Earlier we had a slightly awkward conversation and I ended up saying “you seem kinda pissed, I won’t text now.” He replied quickly saying he wasn’t pissed, so I don’t think there’s actually any issue between us.

After that though, I just didn’t really feel like carrying on the conversation. I’m not angry with him and I don’t want things to be awkward at all, I think I’m just a bit tired of always being the one keeping the texting going.
Part of me feels like I should send something normal afterwards just so it doesn’t seem weird, but another part of me thinks I might be overthinking it and it’s fine to just leave the conversation where it naturally ended (with him saying he's not pissed).

AIBU for not replying further and just leaving it there? 😶

OP posts:
jdb9803 · 28/05/2026 19:33

ProudAzureSquid · 27/05/2026 00:04

I have a partner 😅

I took this to mean he has someone else to occupy his time, not that he's after you!!

ProudAzureSquid · 28/05/2026 20:10

jdb9803 · 28/05/2026 19:33

I took this to mean he has someone else to occupy his time, not that he's after you!!

I thought you meant I'm into him lol, that's why I said that

OP posts:
andnowwhatdowedo · 29/05/2026 06:16

ProudAzureSquid · 27/05/2026 17:16

I’m actually not usually needy - he used to text a lot before, so I just noticed the sudden change. I asked him about it, and he said he hasn’t been feeling very good lately, so of course I’m not going to push him.

Problem is that if has bursts of chattiness on text from time to time and everyone he has ever done that with expects him to keep it up indefinitely, it becomes a real chore rather than a pleasure! Great that you resolved this.

MulberryFresser · 29/05/2026 06:23

I have a friend who was very chatty before on text but stopped messaging everyone after St Patrick’s day. Not sure what happened. Was told to cut down on texting by a different person. I thought that I had been too needy (I’m a texter). I met his boss at a conference by chance and she asked me why he wasn’t replying to her emails and WhatsApp’s. I realised that it wasn’t personal. He is now messaging me again and we will meet on Sunday. I hope that he is ok.

Pumpkinmagic · 29/05/2026 06:40

ProudAzureSquid · 27/05/2026 00:52

They’re interchangeable really, depending on the sentence.

No they are not.

Matriarchofmenopausemansion · 29/05/2026 11:45

OxRug · 27/05/2026 00:48

Pissed? Or pissed off?

I was thinking the same...is the OP American?

Ladygodalmighty · 29/05/2026 11:47

HappiestSleeping · 26/05/2026 23:15

I find it better to actually speak to people. All this texting drives me nuts and takes longer than actual human engagement. That way you can also tell by tone of voice etc. Facial expression if you video call.

Look at me getting all modern suggesting video calls.

I never accept video calls that are not previously arranged. I find them intrusive and inconvenient. It's the equivalent to someone barging into your home uninvited.

HappiestSleeping · 29/05/2026 11:53

Ladygodalmighty · 29/05/2026 11:47

I never accept video calls that are not previously arranged. I find them intrusive and inconvenient. It's the equivalent to someone barging into your home uninvited.

And voice notes are the Devil's work. Bloody hate them too. Thank heavens for the apps that remove all the white space and speed them up.

ProudAzureSquid · 29/05/2026 12:48

Matriarchofmenopausemansion · 29/05/2026 11:45

I was thinking the same...is the OP American?

I grew up speaking American English.

OP posts:
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