Me vs MIL

[justgreen13]

Hi All,

I probably am being unreasonable but honestly I can’t stop myself from feeling this way.

DH and I have been scaling back as work cut his hours and honestly we are feeling it. MIL is staying with us for a while and I know he feels embarrassed about shopping from Aldi in front of her (she’s very passive aggressive about these things) but honestly it’s all we can do to survive at the minute especially with the kids.

We’ve always had Saturday as our takeout day and the rest of the days I cook. Today being Sunday, I did some chicken with salad and potato’s for lunch and we had leftover food from yesterday for dinner. MIL refused to eat it. DH then jumps up after the meal declaring “oh I’ll get something fresh for you from the takeaway”. Runs out of the house and gets her a Chinese.

AIBU to think you absolute cunt of a man, to be absolutely fine having your children and wife eat on a budget but when it comes to your mum it’s a different story? The worst part is, 2 weeks ago when her highness wasn’t visiting, I was on my period and just CRAVING fish and chips. DH shut it down saying it’s not Saturday we can’t be doing a takeout.

I’m honestly fuming. Can someone please tell me it’s not that big of a deal so I can enjoy the rest of this long weekend please!!

MILs always cause problems.

as for you being on a budget if so cook every day. We eat at home very day, sone days to avoid cooking always we have an easier meal like round of sandwiches and soup, eggs on toast and leftovers once or twice a weeketc. we rarely get a takeaway used to be on our birthdays but we don’t even do that now. For the last birthday we had a cold spread one day with cake and posh pizza the next. Felt like a treat still.

'MILs always cause problems'

No they don't. Some do, some don't. Just like everybody else.

There’s nothing wrong with eating leftovers. However, I would far rather eat leftover home-cooked food than someone else’s leftover takeaway, (though to some extent it depends on what sort of takeaway it was).

If you had the takeaway on Saturday as usual and served up leftover takeaway tonight, I can understand why your mother in law wasn’t too keen to eat it.

Most ridiculous comment I’ve seen on here this weekend ‘MILs always cause problems’. Don’t be daft

Is she paying to stay with you?

Tell her to fuck off if she isn't.

I know some people don't eat reheated takeaways, I worked with someone who always told me it was probably reheated when it came so it was like reheating twice. She was absolutely adamant. But that person is not hard work and would have just asked if we had beans on toast or something.

Agree with others a weekly takeaway isn't exactly penny pinching. Everyone I know shops is Aldi or Lidl most of the time.

But regaress if you stay at someone's house you don't turn your nose up at their food

"You don't like home cooked meals, buy your own and there's the door."

Here she is adding to your financial pressure and your dumbass husband goes and buys her a takeout because she's a spoiled brat.

I'd have a big talk with him about your MIL being the queen in your castle as well as finances.

I don’t know how mil wasn’t embarrassed having a takeaway while you all had something that wasn’t good enough for her but ok for you.
What a cheek!
But it could just be he’s closer to you and just playing the host to his dm. I’d still be fuming though it’s disrespectful and ungrateful.

Why are you doing all the cooking? Why do the think it’s ok to use ageist slurs like ‘old bat’ when you have a DH problem?

I think sort out the issues in your own household before you start blaming the MIL. YABU.

No one I know is embarrassed to shop at Aldi. I’ve never heard of such a thing.

Edited to add that I’ve always loved leftovers.

I think it's very normal to want to keep guests happy more than you keep your selves happy honestly. You obviously aren't "scaling back", or "feeling it" really. Take away once a week is not something we would afford and I would say we're fairly well off!

AIBU to think you absolute cunt of a man, to be absolutely fine having your children and wife eat on a budget but when it comes to your mum it’s a different story?

Honestly he’s the only one who doesn’t sound like a cunt.

How do you manage money ? Joint account and joint pots ?

Very weird. Much more embarrassing to get a takeaway than to shop at Lidl.

Yes thats the normal way of treating mothers.

You need to have it out with him, ultimately he needs to choose between his family and his mother.Treating her as worthy of breaking the budget ,but not his family is unacceptable,do not have your MIL in the house again until you have this out.

I'd order takeaway for you and the kids tomorrow evening and let MIL and your husband fend for themselves.

It's not normal to move in with your kids and not pay a penny.

Basically the same for less money? No shame just a pat ok the back for being smart!

I would be absolutely fuming if this was me and I would refuse to cook for either of them anymore. I really am that person. If my food isnt good enough today then its not good enough tomorrow.

DH shut it down saying it’s not Saturday we can’t be doing a takeout.

Why wouldn’t you just go get you and the kids fish and chips?

I love a despicable MIL thread ( mine's a pain) and I happily eat take away left overs but many many people don't ( according to MN). So YABU 1. to call your DH the C word. 2. to not accommodate a guest who may just have a food poisoning fear re heated up takeaway - particularly if rice is involved. 3. to think there's something wrong with Aldi - we are v well off and shop there regularly

I'd have said 'If you're not eating with us you can take yourself off elsewhere.'
I think it's disgustingly rude to refuse to eat what others have offered (different if you have an allergy or a genuine aversion but, even then, there are polite ways of dealing with it).
And I'd be furious that husband went out to get a Chinese as it's really undermining too.

I'd suggest that if she is having issues with what is offered, she should stay elsewhere in future and point her in the direction of local hotels. However, I'd be more irritated by husband as (in my house at least) we're a team and we wouldn't do anything like that without both agreeing.

I'd be having a talk with husband, especially if his Mum is being rude and passive aggressive.

I mean I wouldn't say a takeaway a week is cutting back we've gone to once a month because it's just so expensive now to feed everyone and I love Aldi lol

If you want fish and chips get fish and chips?

If you want fish and chips get fish and chips?