Was I being unreasonable to ask to move to a different section of the restaurant today?

[WhiteWidowWithAttitude]

So I’m going to start off by saying that I honestly don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but this was so mad as to almost be unbelievable so I had to get some other opinions. Also, I don’t live in the UK, so on a completely different time zone, hence why it might appear that I’ve already been for Sunday lunch, far too early!

Anyway, went to a hotel/pub/restaurant today for Sunday lunch with three of my children (two early teens, one aged 20). It’s one of those places where you can choose to eat in the bistro area, outdoor beer garden or sports bar. We booked a table because it’s usually busy on a Sunday, and chose the bistro. It’s child friendly. The sports bar is more adult friendly (minors can sit there but have to be accompanied at all times), and the outdoor beer garden is for anyone, but is in close proximity to the smoking area, so you do get whiffs of it a fair bit.

We had been seated about 15 minutes, had our drinks and were looking at the menu, when nearby we heard someone “playing” a recorder. I say “playing”, because there was no discernible tune, just random blasting away. We all looked at each other, then glanced around and saw a table, a little bit behind us, with a man and woman, and two young boys aged about 3 and 4. Sure enough, one of them was enthusiastically tooting away on a multicoloured recorder. I was half expecting the mum/dad/guardian to tell them to stop. My kids weren’t exactly enjoying it (neither was I), but I said “don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll stop in a minute”, and he did. Only to whip out a fucking tambourine. At this point I did actually say “who the hell let’s their kids bring instruments to a restaurant?”

Other patrons started to glance over, and a table of three women who had just came in and sat down, who hadn’t even been served drinks yet, made some not so quiet comments and got up and just left. My eldest had just gone to use the bathroom, and it went quiet for a moment (he suffers quite badly from misophonia so was really probably affected the most out of all of us) and I was thinking “phew, it’ll be all good when he comes back”, when it started up again, and I shit you not, they had started up with a harmonica as well. So by this point it was pretty unbearable!

I got up and went over to one of the staff and said “could we be moved to a different eating area please? We are X party over there.” She looked a bit sheepish and said, “well sure, however there are also children in the bar and garden area” - I hadn’t even said why I wanted to move! So I just said, “oh I don’t have an issue with that - anything will be better than the one man band!” She stifled a laugh and moved us to the first table outside the bar, in the beer garden. It was generally noisier and I could kind of smell a little bit of smoke, but was heaven in comparison to the melee we had just been listening to!

So I suppose my question is, firstly was IBU to ask to be moved, secondly, would anyone think it’s reasonable to pack musical instruments for their very young children as a means of entertainment whilst eating at a restaurant, and finally, should the staff have asked the parents to stop them? I’m 100% not one of the MN “children shouldn’t be allowed in restaurants” kid haters, I understand that children get restless and need entertainment, I’m not even against a bit of Bluey very quietly on an iPad without earphones if your child won’t wear them (which I never personally did, but totally understand that parents need a breather sometimes), but a recorder, tambourine and fucking harmonica? If I hadn’t been there myself I don’t think I’d have believed it, but I was!

The meal ended up being lovely, so overall not spoiled, (other than the whiffs of smoke), but I just feel that we, if anyone, shouldn’t have had to be the ones who moved.

It's never unreasonable to ask to move in a restaurant.

yanbu not to want to listen to that, parents fully unreasonable, staff should have told them to pack it in with the musical instruments

I would have said something to the parents before moving personally, but if anyone thinks YABU they should be locked in a room with a child playing a recorder

I went out with a friend for lunch today and on one side someone was playing music loudly on her phone and on the other side 2 people were loudly facetiming a friend.

We moved.

I was at a steak place a few days back and an adult was watching loud videos on a phone.

It’s becoming ‘ a thing’. Making A Noise. Celebrating their personal taste? Proving they’re allowed to take up space? Who knows?

I’d have asked the staff to ask the other family to keep the noise down, I think. If that didn’t work (staff felt they couldn’t, or the budding musicians carried on) then I’d have asked to be moved.

My husband would have told the noisy lot to pipe down, or sod off.

Perfectly good reason to move.

We asked to move yesterday, so we were sitting in a shaded area.

It's fine to move for any reason.

Inconsiderate people exist in abundance.

Minimum wage staff should not be made ask inconsiderate people to behave normally, it's not worth the berating they'll likely receive.

It was definitely the best thing to do to ask to move rather than take it upon yourself or ask the staff to. Whatever happened to some colouring pencils eh?

To be honest, I was sorely tempted to ask the parents to quiet their children down, but I didn’t want to cause a scene and my children would have been embarrassed. I figured the easiest option was for us to move. I think I was just more flabbergasted that anyone would think that a bag full of musical instruments was a suitable option to entertain children in an eating establishment!

Edited to remove extra word.

"So I suppose my question is, firstly was IBU to ask to be moved" - ridiculous question to which you already know the answer.

"secondly, would anyone think it’s reasonable to pack musical instruments for their very young children as a means of entertainment whilst eating at a restaurant" - No, although if there does happen tot be someone on MN who thinks it's ok, I can't see them owning up 👀😁

"and finally, should the staff have asked the parents to stop them?" - Yes of course. In fact as a customer I would've asked the staff to stop them if they hadn't already asked.

Minimum wage staff should not be made ask inconsiderate people to behave normally, it's not worth the berating they'll likely receive.

I do hate this 'minimum wage' business every time a MNetter posts about a problem in a restaurant or supermarket.

It's insulting because the vast majority of minimum wage earners I know (including myself) still take great pride in their work and doing what their job description requires.

Regardless of the wage they've agreed to work for.

you asked to move. Were moved without issue and enjoyed your meal. No one said you were unreasonable. What’s the issue?

Do loads of people have hyperfocus and do not realise the impact of their noise on everyone else? A neighbour currently has the radio loud in their back garden, and really loud but a different station, in the front where he’s doing noisy DIY. Really noisy DIY, so there fire even noisier radio. Noise cancelling headphones are becoming full time essentials in my own house.

I worked in a shit job on the bare legal minimum wage for almost 20 years. No I would not tell customers to behave better for whatever reason. That's for the owner who is free to be shouted at, called names, sworn at and squared up to, all he fancies.
Employers get what they pay for. 🤷

Anyway, it doesn't matter, original poster moved tables, no big deal, no dilemma.

Came here to be annoyed at another kid-bashing post. Quickly changed my mind. YANBU, that’s 100% unreasonable. I believe kids need to be in public spaces (that they are allowed into) to learn to be in the world but that it’s the parents responsibility to make sure that, in the process, they are ACTIVELY making sure they are teaching them to be around other people.

The restaurant owners were surely at fault for allowing the noise pollution. You definitely weren’t unreasonable. I’ve left restaurants entirely due to people placing their phones on their table and playing their own music! Unbelievably selfish and anti social. It’s Entitled behaviour that repulses me.

Ask to be moved in a restaurant for whatever reason you choose, sun in your eyes, too near the window, door toilet, just prefer elsewhere, anything! Why would you doubt this?

secondly politely asking for kids to stop unreasonable noise, music to be turned down, dog to stop jumping on you, kids running round your table, is not ‘causing a scene’. It is making a polite , direct, reasonable request. Modelling standing up for reasonable requests with politeness is good for children.

And obviously equipping kids with musical instruments in a restaurant is ridiculous behaviour..

Not unreasonable to ask to be moved, especially as you'd given it some time for it to stop. It's also not unreasonable the family had instruments with them; they might have been coming or going from somewhere where it would be appropriate to play them. But if the children were too young to know better than to play in the restaurant the parents should have stopped them.

I don't even see it as a "children" issue, though; it could have been a teen or adult playing an instrument - regardless, they'd typically have been asked to stop by staff. It may not be fair to expect staff to do this but if the situation arises it makes sense that they do ask the noisemakers to stop rather than having multiple groups of customers request to be moved or walk out. I suspect if buskers had come in, playing quite a bit more competently, they'd have been moved on quickly enough.

Thank you - I am definitely not of the “kid bashing” ilk - in fact, some of the threads I read on here make me despair! I’ve been through the very close in age, trying to placate very young children stage - twice! I totally get that sometimes children will be a bit annoying for people with no (or grown up) children - it’s just a fact of life, and if they are never taken to and socialised in these situations then they’ll never learn. I just didn’t want to listen to a cacophony of pre-school musical instruments. Unfortunately that meant that we ended up having to sit in a section that we hadn’t booked, which resulted in us having to smell second hand smoke during our meal (which was one of the reasons that I booked the bistro in the first place).

I don't know when it became the norm, but these days there are people who have gone fucking mad - cackling like hyenas in cafes and restaurants, loud, carrying voices in theatres, braying laughter, both men and women in public places. Manners have gone unless you are in a normal rules-enforced school with strict teachers. Shrieking on their mobile phones - on public transport and in quiet carriages. People put up with this shit, nobody tells anyone to shut the f up.

Why would you think you might be unreasonable to ask to move in this circumstance?
Of course not. I asked to be moved yesterday because despite how warm it was outside I did not want to sit right under the aircon which was blowing my hair around it was on so high.
And of course decent parents/carers don't allow their children to play musical instruments in a dining area. Very poor management if they didn't ask them to stop.

The parents who chose to allow their children to play with bloody musical instruments in a restaurant are absolute selfish entitled twats.

Posters say this all the time on here. It's honestly really patronising.

Yes it is the staff's job to ask customers to behave and stop disturbing other customers. If the customer berates them or the staff don't feel comfortable then they should go ask a manager to deal with it.
Just because they get minimum wage it doesn't mean they shouldn't do the job that they are paid for.

Well I would, as would most of the staff I worked with.

"Excuse me, do you think you could take the instruments off the kids, just while they're in the restaurant - thanks" 🤷‍♂️

Any resistance and the manager deals with it.