To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Yes but you have slid to saying you don't focus. Focusing and seeing are two different things.

But as I said, my children wore their own choice of clothes every day and those rules applied, but because they weren’t rebelling against uniform rules the girls didn’t go to school in skirts like belts, or plastered in make-up; hoodies and jeans, shorts on hot days, but no arses hanging out were their’uniform’ and teachers didn’t waste hours policing them, because they didn’t need to.

https://suitsupply.com/en-gb/men/knitwear/off-white-ribbed-tank-top/SW2159.html

Male vest (or wifebeater which a PP referred to ) Absolutely not appropriate for school own clothes day or an office.

But that is the exact effect this causes. And yes, girls are asked to cover up because it makes people feel uncomfortable - which is akin to feeling shame for a body. The word undignified has come up here a few times. Girls learn from this that their bodies are something to be concealed - this leads to shame.
time.com/3892965/everydaysexism-school-dress-codes-rape-culture/

So if a male colleague came in wearing just a pair of tight Speedos, you would notice but wouldn't have any reason to object at all?

After all, his genitals would be covered and you're perfectly able to only focus on his face when he's within your natural field of vision...

Really, why? Why is it not just a cool and comfortable top to wear in a warm environment?

I am also wondering about teens in male shorts with the butt cheeks cut away?

Are we all good with that because men's bodies are not shameful?

Oh come off it. It's as inappropriate in a school or work situation as the male vest I posted.

https://suitsupply.com/en-gb/men/knitwear/off-white-ribbed-tank-top/SW2159.html

Well, that’s a daft example. She wasn’t in a bikini and there was no man in speedos. She was in a vest top, with everything covered. In the same way as if a male came to school in a tight activewear tank top. I wouldn’t be affected, no.

Yup that was beachwear in my day too.

I am the first to say women's dress should not be determined by men's inability to manage or control themselves. However, my commute to work took me past kids walking to secondary school. Most of the girls were wearing skirts so short that if they even didn't show their butt cheeks they certainly couldn't have moved around or bent over without it becoming gynaecological. Would that be acceptable in a workplace?

My main concern though is how intense peer pressure is at that age. How many girls are complying with what they perceive to be a norm? Did that norm evolve from some notion about pleasing the male gaze, particularly in view of the media we know boys are consuming and stereotypical images of teenage girls online?
They certainly aren't wearing these clothes for comfort.

I'm not OK with low rise shorts on boys either, or bum cracks showing, or the outline of a penis.

Nothing to do with sex, all to do with the appropriate clothing for the situation.

No, I'm not "all good with that" and any man turning up in my office dressed like that would be sent home. It's not suitable for school either.

I'll add that I was a HoD and I absolutely have spoken to teaching staff about their attire.

Genuinely, if male staff came to school in your example whilst female staff can come in wearing mine, I think you highlight the inequality beautifully. We shouldn’t be shaming either sex 😊
thehalara.co.uk/products/Cowl-Neck-Sleeveless-Work-Blouse-24-551

It is no more acceptable for school children to wear revealing clothes to school anymore than it would be for a teacher to turn up to the classroom wearing a very short skirt while exposing her cleavage.

Exactly.

ETA I am laughing at the comment that any man turning up at the office in that would be sent home. And why am I laughing? Because the thought is ridiculous, and the thought is ridiculous because men tend not to dress like that. People are acting as though women are restricted in ways men are not.

I think this whole thing is less about shame and more about self-respect.

In the interest of my own sanity, I’m bowing out of this thread. I’ve made my views clear. If I don’t reply to any quotes, it’s not because I’ve changed my mind, I just give up repeating myself. Please read my earlier posts if you want to know my arguments. Have a lovely evening 😊

I've no idea what point you're making. My point is neither are acceptable or appropriate

This is similar to the type of tops the male trainees in my office were told were not acceptable on dress down days
The young men were not allowed to wear this

The faux naivety on this thread is something else.

Why do teen girls seem to feel much more need often to reveal skin than teen boys do? And are thr reasons necessarily positive?

I'm not really sure how I feel about this. On the one hand my 17 year old is at college so obviously no uniform and kids do come out with strappy vest tops, short skirts, boys with low slung jeans and obviously no one there has a problem including male teachers. It was the same when I was at college.
However this is a school. They shouldn't single one pupil out obviously and the excuse they gave is crap but if the school felt your DD was showing off too much cleavage I think they're allowed to say so. I always think on non uniform day it's easier to follow what the teachers wear. So t shirts are okay but vest tops not. I'm sure the teachers don't wear them so why is it okay for the kids?

This is exactly the concern.

I am not ashamed of my body. In fact, pre-babies, I was less than not ashamed: I was proud. Let's say - for argument's sake, and then never quote me on this again - I was probably vain about it.

But I still had parameters around how I dressed - not because I was ashamed of my body, but because I had self-respect.

Those "frill-above-the-upper-butt-cheek" skirts are, as @ForPearlViper has so aptly put it, pretty much gynaecological as garb.

Just clicked on your link. You are making no sense. The woman's top is nothing like the male vest. There's more coverage and it's not clinging. It's nothing like the previous vest you linked to.

I would be pretty upset . Are the girls responsible for the males teacher behaviour in some way ? Are they pedophiles ? Who told her that ?