To think telling a child to "cover up" because of male teachers is ewwww?

[FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling]

DD and her mates were wearing fairly standard vest tops at school for an own clothes day. All dressed exactly the same. DD singled out and told to cover up (I suspect because she is slightly larger chested than the others), which she found humiliating. She was told "there are male teachers around" as the reason!
They are 16.
I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

AIBU to think this is a bit off?

Ps. I bet it was a female teacher who made the comment to the OPs daughter.

Depends on the vest if worn purposefully with boobs hanging out ! Personally I never felt the need to roll my skirt up or wear plunging tops at school (I was big busted) probably as I did not want attention !

100%

And fashions come and go. 18th and 19th century men used to wear tight breeches that showed off their crown jewels and women low-cut, cleavage-heaving dresses (in some decades). Even the prudish Victorians.

I thought these arguments ended in the 60s with mini skirts.

One false accusation is all that's needed for some men to quit. They've been accused of one of the worst crimes going, because they turned and glanced at someone who chose to have their boobs out. Some girls know it is a way to "get" at male staff too.

Se uncomfortable men or women to be perfectly honest. Not because there's a sexual reaction, I just don't want to see boobs or bums at work.

The comment re male staff was misguided.

👏👏👏

You’re the one who decided your DD’s cup size was the issue, that’s not what was said to her!

The male teacher comment is gross.

I do think certain clothing is more suitable to certain environments than others. As a teacher we don’t have a formal dress code but I would be conscious of necklines and dress lengths for work clothing.

Men with any ounce of respect know where to keep their eyes in the presence of females.

Last non uniform day we had lots of girls wear similar to this. I don't think it's OK for school.

Obviously.

Not sure what that has to do with false accusations or staff feeling uncomfortable seeing bums/boobs.

Any male member of staff wearing a vest type top in my office would be told put a shirt over it.

Pre Covid when we had dress down Fridays it was actually some of the younger men who were told this type of top or cap sleeved, tight fitting, club type gear wasn't appropriate.

I just Googled the term wifebeater and looked at the images because I had never heard of the term before. What I saw looked remarkably like a "vest" to me. Is this what the OPs DD was wearing? Have you heard of a string vest? Is this appropriate for school?

Am I not? What stand am I taking?

Nope. Just don't stare at adolescents' tits, it's actually really simple.

What do you think is inappropriate about this top, and why?

That comment is entirely inappropriate. But so, really, is revealing clothes worn in a working school environment. (I would say the same about tight or short shorts on a man).

Perhaps the school needs to rethink their own-clothes days? Either don't have them, or accept that the kids are going to push the boundaries for that one day and turn a blind eye to it.

This comment is so bizarre, I am sorry - it is up there with 'what is normal?' Usually asked by somebody not normal in response to 'this is not normal' - they usually exclaim 'what is normal, define normal'.

If you don't know what 'appropriate' is and then can't apply it to 'appropriate' for work/school/family day out/date night, then you need help in the nicest possible way of this word.

Its fine to have a chat about appropiate wear for school.
Inappropriate the reason of male teachers.
My general rule with my teens is that if its not suitable to wear to work then not suitable for school.
If her boobs were busting out then its not appropriate for school

Who would want to be a teacher these days.

Nothing to do with pupils. Its the parents incapable if supporting basic rules.

Your child can wear what they want when you are in charge of them. School. Makes their rules.

OP you should make a complaint. Although I'm not sure it will be received or dealt with by anyone with the brains to truly understand what the problem is.

Telling children to cover up because there are male teachers around is beyond belief. What is the implication there? I just don't have the words to really disect this tonight. We live in misogyny. It is everywhere and is always propped up and supported by women.

If you don't know what 'appropriate' is and then can't apply it to 'appropriate' for work/school/family day out/date night, then you need help in the nicest possible way of this word.

OK...
And if it is a day where the temperature has reached 23 degrees (after 14 degrees a couple of days ago), and that the day has been designated a non-uniform day where any rules were not clarified, then what is normal? Or even comfortable?

The reason schools often insist on shoulders covered is because of school bag straps rubbing on skin. If a bag strap is touching skin not clothing, there’s a good chance it’ll rub and be sore. That’s a dull and practical rule.

Bit like when they insist on fully enclosed shoes even on own clothes days, this isn’t just a pointless rule, kids have ended up with cuts on their feet wearing sandals to school.

We couldn't wear vest tops in sixth form
for this reason. I don't believe the male teachers would have perved on us if we had worn them, but I do believe if we had been wearing them it would be easy to accuse them of doing so. For that reason, 25 years later, I agree with the rule

@FreeeeeeeeFreeFalling

I kind of think if male teachers can't keep their eyes to themselves, they shouldn't be teachers, right?!

It was probably a bit poorly worded, but I wonder if they meant something different - not a case of male teachers not being able to keep their eyes to themselves - but maybe some male teachers would have felt uncomfortable if the outfit was too revealing/not necessarily appropriate for a school setting.

Make a stand by shoving one's chest in everyone's face, be it fellow pupils, male or female? Why not make a stand by learning a new language to perfection, winning a piano competition or getting onto the GB sports team? Take a stand, my arse.

Yes but people keep slipping into going on about "staring." I doubt anyone is staring, and yes, of course that can be helped.

But the problem is noticing. Would you really want people noticing if it were your DD? People actually can't help noticing. There is a gulf of difference between noticing and staring.