Male hospital staff

[ToadRage]

I don't really know how i feel about this or if I'm just being a bit precious. I had an appointment for a transvaginal ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I was a bit shocked to find the sonographer was a man. A female nurse was present and she did all the talking, he barely said a word to me. I have had ultrasounds before but they have always been done by women. He was professional and nothing out of the ordinary happened but I felt a bit awkward as I haven't had a man down there except my husband in 20+ years, not even a male doctor. Am I wrong in thinking I should have been told it was going to be done by a man, maybe given the option to request a woman or AIBU?

I agree it feels weird having a male but my logical brain tells me the Dr only sees your bits in the way as if he were looking at your elbow .
My last gynecologist appointment was a male and whilst its embarrassing for me to have his fingers inside me whilst telling me to squeeze and relax so he can test out my pelvic floor . To him it's just a job .

I think it's entirely on you to make the request. It's a medical appointment, provided by a medical professional. If it's not good enough for you, make the request.

I think these requests should be made for private appointments, but on the NHS it's not reasonable.

I'm not speaking for everyone, I'm speaking for myself - which is all any of us can do.
I also had no idea that mammograms had to be done by female staff because, again I'm more interested in competence than sex/gender. Why is my opinion not valid, if others are?

YANBU. I recently had a hysteroscopy done under sedation. All the staff in the operating room were female when I was sedated, but when I came round they'd been replaced by men. It really upset me because I wasn't expecting it. Before they sedated me all the women introduced themselves. I had no idea who these men were.

It wouldn't bother me as long as the person doing the procedure was pleasant and professional, male or female. I had most of my smear tests done by my male GP and it was fine. But I'm sure there are plenty of women who would be uncomfortable with a male practitioner and I think it should be possible to request a female for intimate examinations. Probably best to call and speak to someone before the appointment though, as there may not always be an alternative on the day.

I had this done. My GP referred me to a place that just does scans etc and then sends them on to the hospital ahead of your appointment.
The woman that did it and the chaperone were both really unfriendly, uncommunicative and blunt.
They both seemed really pissed off or something, but maybe part of it was my perception.
I felt quite anxious about it. I had just had a regular ultrasound on my abdomen and then the technician asked if I consented to the trans vaginal one. I was flustered but said yes.
I have had plenty of intimate procedures done in my adult life but it was probably the most uncomfortable and unpleasant one and I felt very vulnerable.
I had pain and bleeding afterwards.
And then somehow the results/ images were lost and never sent on to gynaecology!
I waited five hours to see the gynae only to find out that they didn’t have them.
Overall, I would have preferred a male sonographer who didn’t have such bad bedside manner (or whatever equivalent for technicians). Most importantly I would have preferred to have been warned in advance and certainly expected that they would actually send the results where they were supposed to go.

YABU

Would you feel as bad if it was a Lesbian sonographer?

Would you feel better if it was a gay man?

Should the NHS have to gender their staff and their sexual tendencies to allow them to fulfil their role?

Why such a ridiculously snidey question you know she didnt ask or op would have said.

Such a valid point.

Breast screening only employ female mammographers, so I’m not sure why it would be unreasonable to expect a female perform an even more intimate exam

I had this experience for a trans vaginal scan. I wasn't alerted beforehand that it would be a TVS or a male sonographer - just got a phone call and was told to drink lots of water. A young woman came out to call me in but I got a bit of a land to see a young man sitting next to the scanning unit. I've had CSA and didn't know how to respond so just plunged on. He was really nice but yes it is a very intimate examination and his arm was resting against my leg.

I told him I'd just stay quiet to let him concentrate. He did the abdominal scan and then said do you know that you might have an internal scan? It wasn't mentioned at the telephone call but I'd googled about it. I gave consent.

I think it should have been flagged before the scan. I'd have preferred a woman.

I think seeing as there aren’t enough doctors to begin with, it would be hard for the hospital to fulfil all requests for female doctors or technicians if it became a common thing to ask.

I used to feel a bit uncomfortable but I had to have surgery on my vulva which involved years of preparatory appointments including an ultrasound with a male doctor while on my period, describing problems to a male gynaecologist and his male students, various students poking around my nethers. There is always at least one female doctor or nurse in the room so now I don’t care if the main person is a man or woman as I’m just glad to be having an appointment

I would only be able to tolerate a female sonographer, regardless of sexuality. I would be unable to undergo the procedure if it wasn't a female, and so it would be a waste of time, and negatively affect my healthcare. Is that unreasonable?

(I do understand OP should perhaps have asked, but frankly I would've been the same as her and assumed it would be a woman, unless otherwise stated.)

I've had both male and female Drs do internal ultrasounds and it was never an issue for me. Then I had a male Dr try and do a d&c when I hadn't had any painkillers or anything at all and although I understand why he tried to do it I felt really traumatised by it, it was excruciatingly painful and I haven't really felt comfortable with male Drs down there since. I request female Drs now and it's never been a problem. If the gp is referring me I tell them at the point of referral.

Are you suggesting that people who've been sexually abused should just be glad they've been offered an appointment? Because that's what you are hinting at, isn't it?

In my case, the discomfort has nothing to do with sexuality. I don't think the technician is getting turned on. For me, being in a vulnerable situation with a man, where I don't have control and he is interacting with my genitals is really triggering. It doesn't matter if he's lovely and kind and professional.

I've had a male sonographer do a vaginal ultrasound. I was surprised but wanted it done asap so didn't say anything. If I had been offered a female two weeks later I would have opted for the earlier appointment with a male.

I've seen male gynaecologists, a male doctor delivered both of my babies. I really don't care that much.

Bloody hell, when you know the numbers of breast cancers, imagine if male oncologists were banned and only women were allowed to work in that area of medicine.

It's depressing.

i had a very young male trainee midwife when i was in labour and also a very old male doctor who gave me an internal at the post 6 week check

I am a radiographer , had a vaginal ultrasound done by a male sonogroher in my GP practice last year with a chaperone present and to be honest I hated it , he was brusque and rude and I felt very vulnerable . He was also wrong with his report as I ended up having a hystoscopy which did not show what he thought .

This. If it bothers you, you need to state that in advance.

But why would you assume they'd be female? It seems such an odd thing to assume.

Of course your opinion is valid - for yourself. Maybe I misunderstood but it sounded to me as though you thought it should be fine for everyone.

Having googled d&c, i am now terrified because the scan was for unusual bleeding and I have been referred to gynaecology, apparently I am incredibly lucky to have made it to 39 without ever having seen a gynae. I have never and will never had kids so internals aren't a common thing for me.

sorry but i can't see anything where OP is "hinting "at anything
im sure if someone has been sexually assaulted and informs the doctor referring then there wouldn't be an issue in seeing a female
you seem to be taken things out of context with what they said