Male hospital staff

[ToadRage]

I don't really know how i feel about this or if I'm just being a bit precious. I had an appointment for a transvaginal ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. I was a bit shocked to find the sonographer was a man. A female nurse was present and she did all the talking, he barely said a word to me. I have had ultrasounds before but they have always been done by women. He was professional and nothing out of the ordinary happened but I felt a bit awkward as I haven't had a man down there except my husband in 20+ years, not even a male doctor. Am I wrong in thinking I should have been told it was going to be done by a man, maybe given the option to request a woman or AIBU?

I would feel the same way. We should be told and given a choice.

There's nothing wrong with requesting only female (or male, works both ways), but unreasonable to assume so.

You can request a female member of staff, and should do so in advance if it's an issue for you.

Yes, he is trained to do his job and is working as a medical professional, however that in no way prevents some women from feeling incredibly uncomfortable and, in my opinion, that is fair enough.

I had the same a couple of years ago - I think the thing that bothered me more was that they didn't tell me in advance that this might be a possibility and they didn't ask on the day if I was ok with it.
Obviously they are professionals doing their job, but I did feel that with something of that nature that notification in advance should be given so that those who would really not be comfortable for what ever reason can at least mentally prepare themselves.

Are you in the UK? I've never been asked or informed about the sex of any medical professional who I have encountered so I certainly wouldn't have expected to be warned or told.

I am sure you could mention it next time you have a gynaecological procedure booked if it bothers you.

If the doctor walked in and was a male would you feel different? Yes you would …. as people still see male doctors as the norm

He is a certified medical professional and has probably seen thousands of lady bits so doesn’t see exposure the same way you do.

If uncomfortable next time ask for all female.

I've had two and they were both men. I took was a bit surprised but I don't know why really.

I nearly made the most inappropriate comment of my life the first time. He dimmed the lights and pushed the probe up my fanny and I almost said "You could at least have bought me dinner first". Thankfully my brain kicked in!

Anyway, you can request a female.

I had a similar experience in which a male doctor said he was going to get a female nurse for the examination and I thought he meant she would be doing it, but it was just so she could stay in the room. I think it should be communicated ahead of time so it’s clear and can ask for someone else before the appointment if it’s an issue.

How can anyone with even fleeting contact with reality not consider the possibility that there might be someone of the opposite sex delivering clinical care?

I think you're being slightly unreasonable since you asked for opinions. He is a medical professional and you were not alone. Your feelings however are of course valid, that goes without saying. Not sure if there's an answer for this other than to go private which opens the debate why should you have to.

I don't agree that you should be informed beforehand that it will be a male practitioner - imagine the time and cost of the admin to do that for ALL the appointments that are happening every day.

I’ve had this procedure and it’s extremely intimate. For this and similar intimate procedures, I personally would prefer a female.

Well yes but op is a WOMAN and ONLY WOMEN can do trans vaginal ultrasounds? Did you not know that they send the male sonography students out to the pub on the module for female health?

Yes, i would feel the same, and refuse unless it was an emergency

I always ask for a woman when booking the appointment. There's absolutely no way I'd have a male sonographer! On one appointment, only a male sonographer was available (but I had clearly asked for a woman at the time of booking). It was very awkward but I sat down and waited until the female sonographer was available. To be fair to the clinic, they were apologetic.

😱😂That's precisely the kind of thing I would say (and instantly regret it!!)

He dimmed the lights and pushed the probe up my fanny and I almost said "You could at least have bought me dinner first".

Thanks for that, I’ve just had the best laugh of my day.😂😂😂

Yeah, this is the issue isn't it. If they ask you and you say 'no' they have to have an alternative (woman) available.

Putting the onus on people who are specifically bothered to proactively request it probably keeps the issue relatively small. Whereas if they ask everybody, lots of women might opt for a woman, even if they are not actually that bothered.

I don’t have a problem with this - I’ve had male gynaes but always have a female present which protects both of you.

I think that could be horrifying for a victim of sexual assault.

If I had booked the appointment myself I may have considered this but i was referred for this by my GP and the hospital made the appointment for me.

I had the exact same experience, after a 10 week miscarriage, and there was no female chaperone present. I was in such a mess, I didn't think to ask for one. And he was just horrible. At one point, mid-poke with the stick thing, he said "oh". I said "is the baby still there?". He said, in a kind of jovial way "No!"
That was 21 years ago. I'm still haunted by it.

@ToadRage That's appalling. I fully appreciate that there are some women who don't care, but I certainly do (as do pretty much all the other women I know!) You should always be given the choice for any intimate care. Perhaps give the GP some feedback?

I would be unable to have a man do it, and frankly, I would have fully expected them to inform me if there was a possibility the HCP wouldn't be a woman, and so might not think to ask. It would be a wasted appointment for me.

Honestly, it seems strange that they ensure mammographers are female-only, and yet HCPs who will be vaginally penetrating you in a very thorough manner can be male.

You're definitely not being precious, OP!!

When I was younger going through infertility investigations, absolutely all of the medical staff were male, but there was always a female nurse as chaperone. The male sonographer was lovely; he always got me to insert the ultrasound probe myself then moved it around and explained the images on the screen to me. He never saw any of my “bits” as I was covered with a sheet! The only time I felt awkward was with another sonographer who was accompanied by a young male trainee. I was on my period, so presumed they would do an abdominal scan instead. They didn’t! Just felt a bit embarrassed to be bleeding onto the examination couch! The nurse tried to reassure me, but I really didn’t want to go through with it.