to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

This,

Most people do get tired more easily as they age, anyway. I'm only 53 and reasonably fit but my 53 year old body is nothing like my 43 year old body, and I'm not even talking about aesthetics either. Ageing sucks big time.

Also, even the most cursory flick through MN will tell you that many, many people have no ability to understand a person who is not them or a life that is not theirs, and hence cannot understand anyone being or reacting differently to how they would. And that's why they are judgy tossers.

So its really not just retired people OP.

Which TV show could I have watched in the few minutes I have started a thread and been responding? 😂

I have work meetings so have to stay in front of laptop.

And some people were never helpful and understanding, evidence can be found for this in the many judgmental comments on other threads from people who are clearly not retired. Unfortunately these people don't mellow with age. They are still irritating though.

I didn't mention 3 hours, but while you where posting this twaddle you could have watched at least two 30 mins episodes of something

And TBH a good many older people, even if reasonably fit and healthy, do tire more quickly. Yes, I know there’s the odd 80 year old running the London Marathon, but they are the exception.

It wasn’t until I started (willingly) doing little grandchild care in my late 60s, that I really started feeling my age. And I was fitter and more active than a good many.

I think we can all agree that elderly people are a burden.

No - we can't 'all' agree with that statement! FFS
Shall we shoot everyone as soon as they reach 70 to avoid the burden?

Try having some empathy as you too will be old one day.

YANBU
At my sister's wedding, her new MIL was making a lot of PA comments to my mum about not being there for my sister's baby. MIL has been retired for a long time, and my DM was in her 50s and working full time. DM just sat there in shock at most of it. The best was when MIL said that my DM was selfish for not dropping her hours so she could baby sit, so my sister could increase hers. They don't live near each other, and DM runs her own company (which she still does despite also being a pensioner now).

The retired people I know do seem to be very busy. They mainly go to various groups and some do a bit of volunteering.

@cupofcup.This boomer remembers what it was like . You whipper snappers don’t know you’re born. I worked 16 hours a day 7 days a week. When I had meetings I had to get a train into London at 6 in the morning not sit on my laptop posting on MN.

I see you conveniently ignored the rest of my post. I even wrote it twice.

For the THIRD TIME

I think we can all agree that elderly people are a burden in a sexist society.

Women are expected to care for elderly people. Men are not expected to care for elderly people

I do know how you feel about comments about ready made food etc - I’m 64 now but in my mid late 30s and working full time with a 4 month old baby ( those were the days eh) I remember my MIL making comments about how I didn’t seem to be keeeping up with the ironing and would I like her to take some! Whilst it wasa kind offer and meant well , it really boiled my piss at the time as she hadn’t worked for years( mid to late 50sat time) and no mention either that my H ( her son) didn’t seem to be keeping up with it either - I think it’s the lack of empathy that’s getting you down and yes I would say something. I do think one thing to understand isa lot of older non working people do start to feel irrelevant and so whilst not busy in the way you see it do feel a need to ‘keep busy’ and say they are busy, but in their own way. However a little bit of empathy, offers of a bit of support/help and winding their neck in wouldn't go amiss in ‘some’ - ( it’s really an individual thing) -

I’m 67 and a granny of two babies and I still do about 5 hours of client contact which means about an equal amount of writing up after. I have NOT forgotten what it is like to work full time with children. I try to do everything to make life easier for my daughters. Today I walked for about an hour to bring my grandson home. He was too sick for nursery, she had an early meeting. I was trying to avoid her having to sit in rush hour traffic coming to drop off and rush hour traffic to get to the office.

I will have a nap at about 6:30 when dad has picked him up.

I don’t need praise for what I am doing, I am just trying to make the point that not every retired person has forgotten.

My child minding of grandchildren brings back so many memories. There are lots of good memories, but some are how it was so hard. The recent bad memory is driving to daycare with a two and three year old screaming in the car. It was a horrible way to start every day.

So this is a vote for you not judging all retired people. I for one will be enjoying the long weekend when all I have to do is dog sit my eldest’s pet while they go off on a trip with the other set of grandparents - who are going along to babysit because a concert is part of the trip. (They agreed to go before the tickets were booked).

In your experience maybe, that's not the case in every family

That isn't limited to the retired, though, is it? I AM retired and I get criticism for using ready meals.

Oh put your claws away, it can be true that OP has 10 mins to look on here and that SOME older people have forgot what it's like to be in the thick of it!

OP never said all retired people did she? So if you don't think she is talking about you then don't get offended, you are clearly one of the people who don't act like this. BUT you must know that some older people do? That is who OP is referring to so why are you getting yourself in a tizz if it's not you?

I am not talking about people with ill health. The examples I mentioned are active healthy retired people who do not seem to understand why I can't bake my own bread and keep the garden looking perfect.

The alternative to being retired is, in most cases, being dead!

Also wise x

@cupofcup "I have a retired friend who runs marathons and DM who will only walk for 10 minutes because she finds doing more boring (she is capable of walking more)."

So I suggest you change the title of your thread because this is basically sour grapes about your own mother and auntie (yep, the one who apparently watches TV all day everyday). But instead you've used a rather pathetic and unpleasantly ageist vehicle to vent. And I gather from your last post that you're supposed to be actually working from home as we speak?

Me too.

I think we can all agree that elderly people are a burden. Especially as they are another part of a sexist society. When women are working full time and many of us have children, we are expected to look after elderly relatives.

Indeed. I can tell from this post that some of us are going to be hugely annoying burdens when we get old…

If there is anyone on the thread who would like to swap the energy levels , joint and muscle health and cognitive speed of a thirty something year old with the energy levels, joint and muscle health and cognitive speed of a sixty something year old please do get in touch with me.

Oh another one that gets me, my MIL (who's lovely) always makes comments about how we don't always have matching socks.
I always grab socks from the same pack so they feel the same but don't always have the same design on. She just has to tut and mention it.
Some days it doesn't bother me, other days I want to scream that I don't have fucking time to sit for 20 minutes and match all the fucking socks, I wish I did but I have 100 other things to do, ah alas!

I think we often forget how hard certain parts of our life was. My sister often tells me how having pre-school children was the happiest time and how much she misses it but I have hundreds of messages from her to the contrary! She was dying of stress but she looks back now at happy baby and toddler photos and chooses to remember the good times. I think it’s fairly normal.

Im 37 and already I’ve forgotten what it was like during my four years at university. To me now I look back and think it was easy but if I really really try and remember, maybe it wasn’t so?

Older people generally tire more easily. There are exceptions but go easy on your mum. My parents tire after a few trips out a week too, both mentally and physically. I can’t judge because I’ve never been in my 70s.

It is in a lot of families.

And it has been written about on many threads on mumsnet before. Ive seen women complain on here that caring for elderly parents falls on them, not their brothers

So what's your actual beef with the oldsters?

They did their time and it was hard. Now they're doing what they want and because they've done their time in the trenches, they get tired. They might have chronic illnesses or issues stemming from their work. And yes, when you're not actively working a full time job, you get out of the rushing all the time routine. It's not a big deal. I don't get your problem here. Oldsters exist, fucking deal. You might get to be one someday.