to think some retired people completely forget what it’s like to be working full time?

[cupofcup]

I know retirement is not always easy and older people can have health issues, caring responsibilities etc. But I do think some people genuinely forget what it is like to juggle work, commuting, childcare, housework and just basic life admin all at once.

My DM is retired and will often say how busy she is because she has shopping on Tuesday and a doctor’s appointment on Friday. That is apparently an exhausting week. She is in good health and active. Meanwhile most working people are fitting those things around 40+ hour working weeks.

My retired neighbour constantly comments on how awful another neighbour’s garden looks and how she should tidy it up. The neighbour she is talking about is a working mum with young children who leaves the house at 7am every day. My retired neighbour has a gardener.

Obviously NOT ALL retired people are like this at all. Some are incredibly understanding and helpful. But others seem to completely lose perspective on how relentless working life can be, especially with children.

No it isn't but she was complaining she didn't have time to watch TV, when actually she does, she could have done that instead of replying to her goady thread all afternoon

@OnionFishDiamond

"...when they were young you could typically only have one parent working".

That's more generalised than citing your individual experience.

Oh, well said. Honestly, the bloody cheek of it, categorising retired people according to their immediate usefulness. ( If that's a word)/

I’m older , I’m absolutely exhausted .
I spent many years bringing up 3 kids and running a large house / looking after pets with absolutely no help whatsoever ( one of those children is disabled ) there was never time for myself.
Sadly there still isn’t much time for myself as the disabled adult child is living with us + we haven’t been able to downsize , we need the space and we still have pets .
Also the other adult children + other family expect me to be able to accommodate them when they visit as they live a fair distance away.
They also expect to be looked after .
Doing this ..minus all my hormones add in aches and pains..stick a fork in me I’m done

This sounds really hard 💐

Cant u just watch tv or read a book after the kids go to bed?

Haha yeah my mum says this all the time and I have to ignore it.. they are probably just trying to make conversation but they’re just not very good at it.

Cool so quote only half my post without my example… skewing the context… cool 👍

Hooray 🙌 absolutely. Agree wholeheartedly.
My parents fed and clothed us , maybe took us on little local outings , maybe to see granny .
that was it !
we went to school by ourselves and were definitely not run around to activities.
But women my age were expected to do so much more than that and without wrap around care or free nursery hours
And because we moved away ( only maybe a 2 hour round trip away from home ) my parents would never help us .

What is it with the 'I'm so busy as a parent' thing these days? I genuinely don't get it. We've got family members who both work part time from home, get maternity, paternity and parental leave (rightly so, that's great), but constantly tell us how busy they are. Others who do work full time but can work from home so no commute and there's wrap around care. Activities for children after school are a choice, if it feels too much, don't do them. And as for 'life admin ', it's so much easier now, we don't even have to leave our chairs.

I'm mid 60s. I battled sexism, under-pay, incredibly long hours and a complete absence of health and safety in the work place which has left my body permanently damaged.

In my first A/L year in the NHS, there was no annual leave, not a single day. In the second year, I got 10 days as I hadn't started work until the September, so only got half a year's allowance the next year - a total of 10 days annual leave in 18 months. The basic week was 42½ hours plus a 70 hour week of nights every 7 weeks, plus every other weekend, plus on calls, plus sleeping in. I'd arrive at work on the Friday and was there until Monday afternoon. Then back on Tuesday for the rest of the week. No days off other than 2 days after nights and 3 weekends in 7. That was it. It was normal.

When I was pregnant I got made redundant. No maternity leave. I had to go back to a new role (part time at first) a month after the baby was born.

If I fancy taking it easy now, I absolutely will (apart from all the childcare we do for nothing of course).

Nobody is saying don't take it easy. Go for it. Nobody cares.

Did you even read the OP?

There are other posts besides your original post you know....

Welll yes it is

No-one said that. You are exaggerating- but could you not organise your time better so have more you time. Why be such a martyr? Could u afford help with the house or the kids?

Yeah, I always wonder that. My Mum worked FT. My Grandma worked FT. My Grandma that didn't officially work FT was a farmer's wife, which was basically working FT. When were all these women supposed to be not working?

Yeah my mum winds me up with this. She’s literally sat at home all day available for contact any time but I work, have kids, caring responsibilities, travel around a lot, manage a house etc

It was your opening stand-alone paragraph.

It always amazes me that people think female retired people didn't work. My grandma who would gave turned 105 this year worked, as did her sister's, their husband's worked and they raised their children as well. I remember my grandma telling me that her mother worked My mother worked when I was a child in the 70s and 80s. Women working is not a new thing that only today's generation deal with .

I am a martyr because I don't watch TV from 7.30pm - 11pm every night?

Someone did say that.

My DF gets annoyed if I don't answer his calls. I say I can't always pick up in the day when I am working. He says I pick up all my calls - yes you do because you are retired!

Try reading the OP.

In fairness to them when I finally get there I fully intend to completely forget what it’s like to be working full time :)

You carnt answer his calls but you can read and respond to this thread that you created all afternoon while working. I think your df has a point

To balance this up though neither of my grandmothers worked , my mum did 10 hours a week right up to me being an adult, very few of my friends mothers worked more than 12 hours a week - if at all - and I’m from a midlands mining town - and am 64 - my MIL did odd bits of part time and 2 years of full time when my H was 15 - some women did work FT yes, but far less I think , especially if not in a ‘career’- I myself ( now 64) was back at work full time with a 13 week old and a childminder and not out of choice

Not we don’t all. I know that my children work very hard and so do their OH’s
However, some people exaggerate how busy they are. Why would you spent time on here if you are too busy?
Some people take on far more than they need. I am thinking about taking on pets that need exercising and looking after when you are already busy.
In the same way some people don’t appreciate that older people need more time to do things and that some of us also have a social life.

Really everyone is different.