There is nothing positive to achieve from being vile towards retail staff. Why act this way?

[uihd]

Yesterday evening I bought a few items from a supermarket on the way home from work. There were some customers being very rude and disrespectful towards the staff. It has got worse in the past 5 years.

Why do people think it’s ok to act like this? What do they want to achieve with this attitude? Do they realise that people are leaving retail and avoiding looking for work in the retail sector due to their behaviour?

Nothing positive can be achieved from acting like this. If people get a kick out of this, they are just pathetic people.

The staff in supermarkets have no control over
. Prices
. Stock availability
. Products that have been discontinued. Both in store stop selling it and brand stops making it
. Staffing issues
. The number of self checkouts installed
. The law
. Company policies
. Lottery rules

I have done my share in working in retail. Never I want to do that again

You shouldn't expect people to manage your sensory overload...And you shouldn't be rude to someone who doesn't have the control over your circumstances...

My friend works hybrid with her job being a customer service and admin assistant. She takes calls. When customers ring up “ we have been waiting for 20 minutes” when on the display tells my friend and colleagues how long they been waiting.
“actually it has been 8 mins 39 seconds” my friend says.

Plus some have said times which worked out to before the lines opened. Ie waited “20 mins” at 8:10am when the phone lines opened at 8am

I think people should have what they said to customer facing staff recorded and played back. If they don’t cringe, apologise etc. They are nasty people.

Always thought everyone should experience work in retail or hospitality type jobs. People that behaved ridiculously were always the talking point of the staff room. Luckily we had an excellent manager who always had our back and took no crap from customers

I’m disabled.

i can confidently say I’ve only been rude to staff three times. I have broken down in tears over the way I have been treated multiple times.

members of the public (henceforth mops) can be very very rude to staff.

staff can also be horrendously behaved in particular to people with disabilities.

frequently a service that is advertised as disabled friendly isn’t. A member of staff might say “oh I’m sure you can manage those steps can’t you?”

I genuinely go to a lot of effort to always try and be polite and upbeat to members of staff even when they are totally dismissing me, but by god it takes some control.

If it's my local Sainsbury's, customers are frustrated by one member of staff half heartedly supervising 20 self service tills that don't work properly

If the shop gave decent customer service, customers wouldn't be snappy

I agree. I had a Saturday job when I was at school then spent many yeara as a sales rep. Having been on the "other side" I get it.

It never fails to amaze me that these people are to stupid to realise pissing off the person who’s help they need are going to do fuck all for them

I was in Asda trying to buy a cheap phone for my daughter (a non smart phone) and I was honestly shocked by how - in the 15 mins I was there waiting for help and being dealt with by a really lovely lady - three people came and made a fuss and were awful to her. For… nothing. Like all the anger in their lives was spilling out on whoever was near them.

I work as a teacher and luckily I haven’t experienced any rudeness like this from parents. So not all person-facing jobs. It’s probably because I work in a privileged area where people are less angry about the status quo because it works for them.

It’s because of inequality - and the right wing internet stirring up outrage and fury and hate to distract from the billionaires hoarding the money who are the actual problem.

I couldn't agree more. I was head hunted for the company I work for because as a customer I was always polite and respectful. One of my workmates was a little miffed that she wasn't approached.

When I started I asked why me and not said colleague, and was told that she was too aggressive and rude and wouldn't be a good fit.

Anyone that has to deal with the general public gets abuse, it's awful. People seem to just generally be arseholes these days.I don't know what's made them so brave that they think it's OK. Trouble is if you pull anyone up you just get a mouthful back. It's definitely got worse since Covid - what happened to a kinder world?

So you take it out on the one member of staff doing the job of 3 people

Definitely, but ask for a manager - we shouldn't take it out on the cashiers etc.
Or complain to Head Office.

I'm not rude myself, and not condoning it

But OP asked why customers are rude

The thing i find the most irritating working in retail is when your helping a customer and everyone can see your helping a customer but other customers think its completely acceptable to interrupt and ask for something. Its like do you want me to just tell the customer im already serving to piss of just so I can help you as your so special and important

Yes the waiting for unexpected items is annoying but ive never had it happen 5 times in one shop!

As you've said, if you know these very normal sounds and issues are things that bother you its on you as an adult to take steps to mitigate them - go to the normal check out, wear headphones, go late at night or early morning, shop online.

Besides which there's a difference between not being polite to retail staff and being abusive. If you don't want to say "thanks so much" with a big smile when staff have been hanging around chatting rather than coming to help, dont. But there's no need to shout abuse or insult them.

If you really want to moan about poor service do it through the appropriate channels - go to customer services or email head office. It's pointless taking it out on the customer facing staff who usually completely agree with you that the shop should have more staff on and the machines are useless etc - they bace no power to change it!

Completely agree OP. I worked in a supermarket for 5 years (1997-2002) and really, really loved working there. The majority of customers were nice people. Even on a Saturday afternoon when we never had enough staff on and queues were going down the aisles, people didn’t take their frustration at having to wait out on the staff. I was the checkout supervisor (from when I was 17) and technically shouldn’t be on a till because I needed to be available to run price checks, authorise things with a key on the till, once 18 I could approve under 18’s selling alcohol, etc - but I used to jump on the basket only checkout and call customers over one at a time (so if I did have to leave, I wasn’t leaving a customer waiting even longer) to try to get the queues down a bit. People were always grateful that I was trying to do something, and I was always apologetic about the wait times. I don’t remember anyone being rude or abusive.

These days people get so angry if they have to wait more than a few seconds. If queues in a supermarket trigger you that much, do one of these:

1. Order a home delivery
2. Go to the supermarket at non-peak times (after 7pm it usually quietens down or go during the day in the week)
3. Go to small, individual shops or market stall for your shopping where it will cost you more but you’ll be less likely to have queues
4. Ask someone else to do the shopping for you

What you shouldn’t do is take it out on the poor sods in the supermarket who will be trying their best to help you. Even if you receive poor customer service, it doesn’t give you the right to be rude. You lose the moral high ground if you are! Write a complaint afterwards for sure, ask politely for what you need in the moment - but don’t be rude or abusive.

My FIL was always rude to people he believed were ‘beneath’ him, especially waiters. I always had to apologise for his behaviour. He would often boast about what he’d said to people too, like he thought it was funny and others would be impressed. I’m probably too far the opposite. I say thank you and sorry to the point it must get very annoying!

You are so right. And the sad thing is, is that when you direct that kind of ugliness to others (esp those in 'lower' or subservient positions to you, who cant lash back), it makes you feel ugly and horrible inside as well. When you are civil and polite it makes you feel better about yourself too. The relief bullies and insecure people get from being rude in the moment, is so fleeting.

One thing that I do now, is make sure I try to offset any rudeness I hear. I am always polite and friendly, but if I hear someone being rude I will often make a point of going to the sales assistant afterwards. I’ll reinforce that it was a rude customer and nothing to do with them and not to take it to heart as others really appreciate them. I hope that it makes a small bit of difference as I hate that people get abused at work.

My Nan used to say, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". My Dad used to say, "Count to 10 before you react".

Exactly this. Some people don't understand how it works. The person supervising the tills hasn't made the decision about how many tills are open or how many staff are available.

I do that as well. I have found from personal experience that it goes a long way to restore ones faith in human nature.

I do that, too. In every single shop, even if it's just a smile and a thank you.

Imagine thinking that these people, doing an honest job, are somehow lesser than you. It's very ugly indeed.