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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9
NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 19:17

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 19/05/2026 17:46

How? If you have enough in a private pension you don't need a state one.

Unlike an unfunded civil service pension a private pension can fall dramatically. It can also run out of money unlike an unfunded state pension. Most people also do not have final salary pension.

FateAmenableToChange · 19/05/2026 19:18

We need to take all the money back from the thieving billionaires. There is no other solutions. We be many, they be few.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:19

ToffeeCrabApple · 19/05/2026 19:14

This. Too many people continue in self employment when its not earning them enough.

Many people are self employed because they really struggle with the rigidity of employment. If we are going down that route employers need to be a lot more flexible.

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:20

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:19

Many people are self employed because they really struggle with the rigidity of employment. If we are going down that route employers need to be a lot more flexible.

Yep, countless posts on here telling people to go self employed if they struggle with work, or to find work.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:20

OneShyQuail · 19/05/2026 19:03

It might be the best thing you can do for your child, but when they need to learn to drive to be able to get a job, so you save for their driving lessons, then the car, then comes the car insurance which even a working teenager would struggle to pay on their own.....then the money saved to help towards a house deposit.....most people struggle to do this for their children let alone pay into a pension for when they are 60+!

There's no way a pension should take priority over driving and getting on the housing ladder....

If you are only looking at saving for driving lessons and insurance when they turn 18, you’re already too late. But yes, I would put starting a pension, even to stick £20 a month in to as a priority. I’d have them wait a bit longer to build up a house deposit, because as I said it is about seeing a pension as a priority. The whataboutery that people use to suggest it is impossible is exactly why we have 45% of people who haven’t got a pension.

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:21

Kirbert2 · 19/05/2026 19:04

Because shared housing isn't appropriate for everyone
Because circumstances change
Because moving areas if you were born in an expensive area again costs money

etc

Well that’s just tough isn’t it! Lots of people have to do lots of things they don’t want to do.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:22

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:09

Not easy but equally we encourage migrants who move continents for work and praise their pragmatism, but when it comes to white Brits we’re somehow better than that?

Maybe we shouldn’t be praising them and instead train up our own citizens for those jobs

Allrightonthenight1 · 19/05/2026 19:22

NotTheOrdinary · 19/05/2026 17:28

It's not always the case of not bothering to save. Some people can't afford to save.

Or there's no incentive as the state will provide.

BiteSizedLife · 19/05/2026 19:22

Many workers cannot afford to save the ideal anount or indeed any amount into their pension.

End of thread really.

Unless you'd like to blame workers for the CoL crisis?

No one is that stupid surely....

There is a problem OP but it isnt the fault of the people you seem to think it is...

Kirbert2 · 19/05/2026 19:24

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:21

Well that’s just tough isn’t it! Lots of people have to do lots of things they don’t want to do.

Want or can't?

You can't magic the money required to move out of thin air if you don't have it
You can't force someone to rent you a roomshare if you aren't who they are looking for

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:24

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:21

Well that’s just tough isn’t it! Lots of people have to do lots of things they don’t want to do.

If I was forced to move away from an area I felt comfortable, share a house with strangers it would probably push my mental health over the edge and I’d probably die by suicide - would that be “just tough” ?

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:24

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:21

Well that’s just tough isn’t it! Lots of people have to do lots of things they don’t want to do.

I know the person you are quoting has a disabled child. On what planet is shared housing suitable for them?

I know of 2 men in their 70s who live in HMOs. It is grim for them.

How long until people are just expected to put up with something like the 'coffin houses' they have in Japan? You can't even stand up in them... but it is a roof, right?

Backedoffhackedoff · 19/05/2026 19:26

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:24

I know the person you are quoting has a disabled child. On what planet is shared housing suitable for them?

I know of 2 men in their 70s who live in HMOs. It is grim for them.

How long until people are just expected to put up with something like the 'coffin houses' they have in Japan? You can't even stand up in them... but it is a roof, right?

Edited

I think the posters ideal is that everyone has the worst life available to them and there are no standards as to what a good life should look like in the uk. Like, south African slum town- yeah fine, if you can’t afford better you should live in a tin hut with no sanitation. You deserve no better

jumpingjohnny · 19/05/2026 19:27

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:14

Did you miss the bit where I said someone considered it a serious suggestion for someone with children?

It's quite a popular choice for families in some jobs. E.g. in boarding schools. Even matrons get family housing. NMW job but free housing is actually a pretty sweet deal.

If it's a career choice, not just a temp job, so can provide stability, it can be a very good choice for a family.

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:28

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:22

Maybe we shouldn’t be praising them and instead train up our own citizens for those jobs

DM employed some Polish people as cleaners. They were sleeping on floors in shared accommodation. One of her cleaners was sharing a small house with 12 other people. They would come here to work, live as cheaply as possible, but send all spare money to family back home.

Quartzfairy · 19/05/2026 19:30

I imagine it increases as you go up the age brackets. Many young people don’t see the point in a pension as they’ll never get that old (I thought this!). Then they hit 25-30 and decide they better start paying into one.

missmollygreen · 19/05/2026 19:30

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 17:34

If the two are not linked what’s the incentive?

If there is no incentive to work, then explain why 95% of working age people do work.

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:31

missmollygreen · 19/05/2026 19:30

If there is no incentive to work, then explain why 95% of working age people do work.

Its 75%

OP posts:
OneShyQuail · 19/05/2026 19:31

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:20

If you are only looking at saving for driving lessons and insurance when they turn 18, you’re already too late. But yes, I would put starting a pension, even to stick £20 a month in to as a priority. I’d have them wait a bit longer to build up a house deposit, because as I said it is about seeing a pension as a priority. The whataboutery that people use to suggest it is impossible is exactly why we have 45% of people who haven’t got a pension.

No, there are 45% of people without pensions because they cant afford one.
Single parents for a start!
I never said start saving at 18, what im saying is that there are other constraints on peoples incomes and saving for things children need, let alone the parents pensions and their child's pensions!

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:32

jumpingjohnny · 19/05/2026 19:27

It's quite a popular choice for families in some jobs. E.g. in boarding schools. Even matrons get family housing. NMW job but free housing is actually a pretty sweet deal.

If it's a career choice, not just a temp job, so can provide stability, it can be a very good choice for a family.

Yes, caretakers used to as well. My old school (just a normal one) had a house onsite for the caretaker. I doubt that really happens anymore.
It all depends on the job. DSis applied for a job at a holiday camp once. Accommodation was offered too... sharing a caravan. You could not have a partner there, and kids would have been out the question.

My best friend has a mate who house sits as her job. She can take her kids too. But the down side is you can't settle at all.

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:32

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:22

Maybe we shouldn’t be praising them and instead train up our own citizens for those jobs

How can we when so many people claim to have disabilities and you can’t ‘make’ them do anything? They don’t want to do a lot of the jobs migrants do.

OP posts:
IncyTwiny · 19/05/2026 19:34

frozendaisy · 19/05/2026 18:15

It will rise regardless of life expectancy due to affordability.

It can rise to 90 but that doesn’t mean the majority of people can work until that point. My parents are 72 and 73.

My dad has just had serious back surgery. It’ll take him at least 3 months to recover. He’s incredibly deaf even with his hearing aids in. And while he’s not a stupid man (he was an accountant), his cognitive ability has very much declined over the past couple of years. He gets confused over some things (but some of this may just be his hearing).

My mother has now had 2 knee replacements, she has arthritis, needs regular injections in her back, she’s pretty much in constant pain. She was a childminder in her working life. She can hardly use her smart phone and can’t hold anything heavy at all. She drops things a lot. She’s stopped driving voluntarily as she doesn’t feel she’s safe enough.

Who is employing my parents?? They’d be off sick more than they’d be at work. They definitely couldn’t manage any new technology stuff. They can’t work far away from the house as (my mother at least) cannot drive anymore. What jobs would you like them doing until their state pension kicks in at 80?

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:34

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:24

I know the person you are quoting has a disabled child. On what planet is shared housing suitable for them?

I know of 2 men in their 70s who live in HMOs. It is grim for them.

How long until people are just expected to put up with something like the 'coffin houses' they have in Japan? You can't even stand up in them... but it is a roof, right?

Edited

Beggars can’t be choosers (as the unpleasant saying goes). It’s all very well saying what you feel entitled to and what you should be getting, when it’s not your earnings funding it.

OP posts:
FigurativelyDying · 19/05/2026 19:34

Canonlythinkofthisone · 19/05/2026 17:56

I'll be honest with you. I was auto enrolled and paying in for years. Then I had a child. Then the cost of everything rose. I ceased deductions, thinking. When childcare costs drop, I'll opt back in. Then childcare costs dropped and the price of food went up and up. Then the bills. Then the food some more, then the bills some more, then the food, then the fuel sky rocketed. I keep saying I will opt back in. But frankly. I barely make it to payday without breaking into a sweat. I simply don't have the cash to put a couple of hundred a month into a pension pot that I may never see. I'm one of what we call the squeezed middle. I earn "enough" on paper. The reality is, I don't have enough cash. So, shoot me when I get to retirement age.

If you can’t afford £100s at the moment, start a SIPP with £20 a month. Increase your contributions when you can. I started a private pension (am self employed) when I was 30, amidst much laughter from friends who couldn’t understand why I was bothering. I started contributing £25 a month and just increased it as and when I could, and was eventually able to make bigger and better contributions, occasionally even adding a bigger lump sum when I was earning lots. Life changes over time. Better times will come. I am in my sixties now. It’s not riches, but I’m glad I did it.

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:35

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:32

How can we when so many people claim to have disabilities and you can’t ‘make’ them do anything? They don’t want to do a lot of the jobs migrants do.

OK, I naively thought this thread was about pensions... but it is yet another thread attacking the disabled.

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