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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9
MidnightMeltdown · 19/05/2026 19:35

There’s not enough incentive. People just expect the state to pick up the tab. It’s a result of British benefits culture.

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 19/05/2026 19:36

I don’t have a pension of any real sorts because my husband died when we were in our thirties. So I had to stop it because that few hundred quid was the difference between surviving and living and after what my kids had been through we were going to live!

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:37

IncyTwiny · 19/05/2026 19:34

It can rise to 90 but that doesn’t mean the majority of people can work until that point. My parents are 72 and 73.

My dad has just had serious back surgery. It’ll take him at least 3 months to recover. He’s incredibly deaf even with his hearing aids in. And while he’s not a stupid man (he was an accountant), his cognitive ability has very much declined over the past couple of years. He gets confused over some things (but some of this may just be his hearing).

My mother has now had 2 knee replacements, she has arthritis, needs regular injections in her back, she’s pretty much in constant pain. She was a childminder in her working life. She can hardly use her smart phone and can’t hold anything heavy at all. She drops things a lot. She’s stopped driving voluntarily as she doesn’t feel she’s safe enough.

Who is employing my parents?? They’d be off sick more than they’d be at work. They definitely couldn’t manage any new technology stuff. They can’t work far away from the house as (my mother at least) cannot drive anymore. What jobs would you like them doing until their state pension kicks in at 80?

This is why unlike many on here I’m not in favour of reversing the triple lock although I do think there should be a universal cap on benefits for pensioners of something like 22k as some of them absolutely rake it in. There is a poster on here who advises elderly people on benefit entitlement and she has explained this, in detail, many times.

But ultimately no I don’t want to see a disabled 75 year old grafting to the death.

I do want to see able bodied 20 year olds or 40 year olds claiming long term benefits to be forced to work. Somebody is going to have to - paying benefits to young people for years and years is insane unless they’re very severely disabled.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:37

ParmaVioletTea · 19/05/2026 19:16

According to the ONS, despite the cost of living, travel remains a priority for people with less than 20% of people opting to have a cheaper U.K. holiday or going without. Annually, as a nation we spend £78.6 billion on overseas travel annually. We spend £63.75 billion on takeaway food. £27.4 billion on alcohol to drink at home and £24 billion in pubs. We spent £14 billion in pensions. We spend 12 times as much on holidays, drink and takeaway food than we do on pensions.

@BoredZelda those stats are frightening. I wonder what the Venn diagrams are for those holiday makers, take away eaters and pub drinkers and no / small pension contributions, assuming the State pension will look after them?

Or is it the “haves” as identified upthread? more likely?

it’d be really interesting to see how all those figures map across income and spending priorities.

Edited

I think it is likely a mix of the two. The wealthy are not spending £170bn on bolly, bhajis and business class.

I know the narrative on here likes to suggest the entire country, except for those who live in mansions are on the bones of their arse, but the reality just doesn’t bear that out. Over 50% of those employed full time earn over £30k. Conversely fewer than 7% are on minimum wage. Yes there are people who are struggling but that number isn’t 45% of people who aren’t putting money into their pensions.

I am entirely on board with making sure those who are really struggling are able to add to a pension. I’d be in favour of a specific benefit those on low incomes could get to pay into a pension. But the reality is, there are a large number of people who make up that 45% who could have paid more into their pension but chose not to.

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:37

MidnightMeltdown · 19/05/2026 19:35

There’s not enough incentive. People just expect the state to pick up the tab. It’s a result of British benefits culture.

Agree completely.

OP posts:
Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:39

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:24

If I was forced to move away from an area I felt comfortable, share a house with strangers it would probably push my mental health over the edge and I’d probably die by suicide - would that be “just tough” ?

Rather dramatic reply! I would hope you would share with friends before taking such drastic steps. I hope you are getting support for your mental health.

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:40

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:35

OK, I naively thought this thread was about pensions... but it is yet another thread attacking the disabled.

All these issues are intertwined. You can’t get away from that. None of these issues are in a vacuum. They’re all exacerbating each other.

OP posts:
Gillydoller · 19/05/2026 19:41

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:37

This is why unlike many on here I’m not in favour of reversing the triple lock although I do think there should be a universal cap on benefits for pensioners of something like 22k as some of them absolutely rake it in. There is a poster on here who advises elderly people on benefit entitlement and she has explained this, in detail, many times.

But ultimately no I don’t want to see a disabled 75 year old grafting to the death.

I do want to see able bodied 20 year olds or 40 year olds claiming long term benefits to be forced to work. Somebody is going to have to - paying benefits to young people for years and years is insane unless they’re very severely disabled.

What do you mean by ‘reversing the triple lock’?

You do realise the state pension will still exist if we get rid of the triple lock?

You do realise that those politicians stating they want to get rid of it are still proposing that the pensions rise at the same rate as inflation or wages?

How much more than average wages and prices do you think pensions need to rise by?

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:41

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:37

I think it is likely a mix of the two. The wealthy are not spending £170bn on bolly, bhajis and business class.

I know the narrative on here likes to suggest the entire country, except for those who live in mansions are on the bones of their arse, but the reality just doesn’t bear that out. Over 50% of those employed full time earn over £30k. Conversely fewer than 7% are on minimum wage. Yes there are people who are struggling but that number isn’t 45% of people who aren’t putting money into their pensions.

I am entirely on board with making sure those who are really struggling are able to add to a pension. I’d be in favour of a specific benefit those on low incomes could get to pay into a pension. But the reality is, there are a large number of people who make up that 45% who could have paid more into their pension but chose not to.

Why pay the benefit though? Why not just save it for their retirement?

OP posts:
Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:42

Kirbert2 · 19/05/2026 19:24

Want or can't?

You can't magic the money required to move out of thin air if you don't have it
You can't force someone to rent you a roomshare if you aren't who they are looking for

But you can continue to force an increasing smaller and smaller percentage of the population to prop up an increasingly bigger percentage of the population. People are already cutting their working hours because they’re taxed too much.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:42

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:32

How can we when so many people claim to have disabilities and you can’t ‘make’ them do anything? They don’t want to do a lot of the jobs migrants do.

Maybe the way the work environment is structured prevents many people accessing work. Maybe we need to start looking into the government subsidising employers to offer better pay in things like caring roles. Maybe we should be investing in the mental health of people who are British born and bred.

Ive worked all my life in professional services with autism and adhd (not diagnosed til later life). It’s been extremely difficult, I’ve been suicidal trying to balance it all.. there’s a lot of coping mechanisms but they require being able to access this advice and employers being flexible as to how certain jobs are done.

Im lucky, I’m highly intelligent and have been able to navigate through lots of research to enable me work through the challenges. However, many struggle, many of the manual jobs have gone, many don’t pay any better than being on benefits. We need to really rethink the work and welfare environment to get people back into work.

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:43

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:24

If I was forced to move away from an area I felt comfortable, share a house with strangers it would probably push my mental health over the edge and I’d probably die by suicide - would that be “just tough” ?

Same here. I am settled where I am. My support network is here. I am happy in my house.
To uproot that would be awful. And it has happened at times when I have been in hospital, but you go home after that.

FernandoSor · 19/05/2026 19:46

Chippychoppywoo · 19/05/2026 18:05

Around 25% of working age people are not employed which would account for a large portion of this

While this 25% might seem shocking the majority are students, mothers of young children, and early retirees.

where I live early retirees are a huge percentage of the working age population - I’m mid-50s and there are plenty who are younger than me!

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:46

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:42

But you can continue to force an increasing smaller and smaller percentage of the population to prop up an increasingly bigger percentage of the population. People are already cutting their working hours because they’re taxed too much.

Yep… luckily they’re not really doing it any more, I certainly won’t be.

OP posts:
FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:47

Gillydoller · 19/05/2026 19:41

What do you mean by ‘reversing the triple lock’?

You do realise the state pension will still exist if we get rid of the triple lock?

You do realise that those politicians stating they want to get rid of it are still proposing that the pensions rise at the same rate as inflation or wages?

How much more than average wages and prices do you think pensions need to rise by?

Yes.. read my post again..

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/05/2026 19:49

Eudaimonia11 · 19/05/2026 17:29

I’ve tried so hard to keep paying into my NHS pension but it’s unaffordable. I already have 15% deducted for student loans and my rent is 51% of my take home pay so the 9.8% pension deduction is just getting me further into debt so I’m going to have to opt out of it. If housing was reasonably affordable, I’d be able to save for retirement on top of paying into my pension. Imagine that!

We’re not all feckless losers wanting to scrounge off the state in our old age. Some of us worked out backsides off to improve our financial position only for the cost of living/housing crisis to happen and make us wonder why we bothered!

Your pension will cost you 7-8% as its taken before tax. You must really try to re-join when you can.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:50

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:39

Rather dramatic reply! I would hope you would share with friends before taking such drastic steps. I hope you are getting support for your mental health.

Well it’s not dramatic is it, it’s the situation that many face, in case you’ve missed it there’s a mental health crisis in this country. You realise that many mental health conditions leave people very socially isolated so good luck sharing with friends.

And yes there’s such an overwhelming amount of support available for people with poor mental health🤦‍♀️.

Honestly, these threads always bring out people who, to coin a phrase “have no idea how the other half live”

There’s a group of middle class groups that seem to think that so many are the undeserving poor, if only they would “work harder” be less lazy, they deserve to live shit lives.

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:51

OneShyQuail · 19/05/2026 19:31

No, there are 45% of people without pensions because they cant afford one.
Single parents for a start!
I never said start saving at 18, what im saying is that there are other constraints on peoples incomes and saving for things children need, let alone the parents pensions and their child's pensions!

No, there are 45% of people who are without pensions. There is nothing in the reporting suggests it’s because they all can’t afford it.

Children need clothes, food and shelter. Anything else is a choice. Too few people make the choice to prioritise other things either for their children or themselves and never consider whether actually it would be better adding something to a pension than say, having a weeks holiday in Turkey every year. Some people will save madly all year to splash out on Christmas gifts for kids and throwing a huge party. It’s all a balance and a question of priorities. People can choose to do other things with their money if they wish but the reality is, the number of people who genuinely have absolutely nothing to spare to pay in to a pension is much lower than people seem to want to believe.

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:51

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/05/2026 19:49

Your pension will cost you 7-8% as its taken before tax. You must really try to re-join when you can.

But they just can’t afford it. What is she supposed to do, sofa surf so she can pay into a pension

Kirbert2 · 19/05/2026 19:52

XenoBitch · 19/05/2026 19:43

Same here. I am settled where I am. My support network is here. I am happy in my house.
To uproot that would be awful. And it has happened at times when I have been in hospital, but you go home after that.

and in some cases, even that doesn't happen.

My son's hospital wouldn't discharge him back home because it wasn't suitable for his needs which meant he went straight from hospital to a house he had never seen before. Thankfully, it is in the same area and it meant he didn't have to move school because it was all unsettling enough for him.

It was clearly the right decision as our old property wasn't suitable at all and I'm incredibly grateful that we were moved so quickly and he didn't have to spend any more time in hospital than necessary but he found it difficult to suddenly be uprooted like that.

There's no way in hell I would willingly move again. Especially as it would ultimately cost money, not save money but it's also about more than that.

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:53

Kirbert2 · 19/05/2026 19:52

and in some cases, even that doesn't happen.

My son's hospital wouldn't discharge him back home because it wasn't suitable for his needs which meant he went straight from hospital to a house he had never seen before. Thankfully, it is in the same area and it meant he didn't have to move school because it was all unsettling enough for him.

It was clearly the right decision as our old property wasn't suitable at all and I'm incredibly grateful that we were moved so quickly and he didn't have to spend any more time in hospital than necessary but he found it difficult to suddenly be uprooted like that.

There's no way in hell I would willingly move again. Especially as it would ultimately cost money, not save money but it's also about more than that.

I’m really pleased it worked out for you and you have compelling circumstances. But what about working private renters who are forced to move with no choice in the matter due to affordability? What about their support networks and kids schools?

OP posts:
Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:53

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:51

No, there are 45% of people who are without pensions. There is nothing in the reporting suggests it’s because they all can’t afford it.

Children need clothes, food and shelter. Anything else is a choice. Too few people make the choice to prioritise other things either for their children or themselves and never consider whether actually it would be better adding something to a pension than say, having a weeks holiday in Turkey every year. Some people will save madly all year to splash out on Christmas gifts for kids and throwing a huge party. It’s all a balance and a question of priorities. People can choose to do other things with their money if they wish but the reality is, the number of people who genuinely have absolutely nothing to spare to pay in to a pension is much lower than people seem to want to believe.

How much is your household income per year? Who earns it and how many dependents do you have?

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 19:54

FernFaery · 19/05/2026 19:41

Why pay the benefit though? Why not just save it for their retirement?

Because putting it into their own pension scheme gives them choices, gives them control over it and the government can never take it back. The government have proven over and over they can’t be trusted to invest properly for the nation’s future.

JenniferBooth · 19/05/2026 19:57

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 19:04

Goodness I would hope not. Uc should not be available for someone to pay rent on an property to live in alone when they could share with others. I think there are already age restrictions on this in place.

Bet you arent including ppl with kids in that. Bet its the child free who get "tough shit you havent got living proof that you have had sex without contraception so you get the shitty HMO

Whysnothingsimple · 19/05/2026 19:57

This whole thread is typical yummy mummy “Let them eat cake” stupidity.

Swipe left for the next trending thread