AIBU to be surprised by friends wanting a curry after supper?

[bagpuss90]

Light hearted post - am just curious to know what other people think … So my DP and I went to friends for supper on Saturday evening. We ate at around 7 pm. It was a substantial meal. Afterwards they suggested we popped out for a cpl of drinks - all good. We had a nice evening. At around 10 30 - they suggested we go for a late night curry - we’d only eaten a huge meal three hours before . We rather reluctantly went there - but we just had samosas. They ordered the full works . AIBU to marvel at their appetite and capacity for food? I just cannot keep up and don’t really want to . They’re not overweight btw. They just seemed to think this was normal

Maybe they do way more exercise than you? People with a high metabolic rate burn through the fuel way quicker.

I went to a friend's house for supper once and the meal they served was way smaller than I consider a proper meal and I had to get myself more food later after I left, but they clearly considered it a normal meal.

I couldn't do it but my DH definitely can. I got fomo when we went on a cruise because he could eat every 3 hours and I wanted to try everything.

I used to be able to do after having alcohol. Drinks made me hungry.

Maybe they hadn't eaten much during the day. I doubt they habitually overeat if they're a healthy weight.

Presumably they don’t do it every day? I guess it’s a bit like ordering a kebab or a pizza when you get home from a night out drinking, and dinner was hours ago. I wouldn’t do that now because a) I don’t drink, and b) I am generally in bed by 10 😆 but when I was young and childless? Absolutely! It’s a treat, and not terribly unusual.

I think I’m more active then they are 🤔

Oh god yes back in the day …

Now I eat like a sparrow.

I find appetite mismatches like this really tricky socially. I have a fairly small appetite and simply can't overeat without being uncomfortable - unfortunately now in my mid 30s my metabolism has slowed down a bit more, this means I'm full after one big course and often can't manage pudding etc. I've always been slim but did manage to eat a fair bit in my 20s and especially when I was breastfeeding. I love food and love having a taste of everything but just can't manage the quantities any more that others seem to.
I've read enough threads on Mumsnet over the years about so-called "competitive undereating" to know that lots of people hate anyone making comments to the effect of "thanks but I couldn't manage that" so I genuinely find it very difficult to know how to handle social situations like the one you describe. We have friends who serve absolutely enormous portions when they host and I have often lied and said I had a really late lunch so that they don't think I'm trying to be "competitive" about my smaller appetite or something. The truth is I just couldn't manage it!

Everyone has different metabolisms and natural eating habits.

I never eat breakfast and lunch as i'm just not hungry around that time of day. I prefer to eat one extra large meal (1500 cals) between 8-10pm most days but if i have an earlier normal size dinner with friends or family I'd get hungry again soon.

Your post contains the word “manage” five times. People do get irritated by performative harping about appetite, and “ooh, I couldn’t possibly manage a whole one”. Because it’s irritating.

I'm not sure you understood my post properly? I use the word manage in the context of quoting something else that I've read being said on Mumsnet. I clearly state that in social situations I have to make up lies about having eaten a late lunch because I'm so worried about being honest!

How is that supper? Is it not just an evening meal?

I know people on mn like to pretend you should only exist on 2 small salads a day. In reality it really isn’t unusual to have 3 meals (even substantial ones) plus snacks. And alcohol can make people feel like they want to eat. It’s not hard for me to fathom that many people would fancy a kebab or a curry 3 and a half hours after eating their tea after they’d been out drinking

Yes, we all know here at MN we don't eat. We merely breathe the nutrients from others to maintain our size 4 visage.

Fairly normal after drinking to get a curry/chips/kebab/greasy carby food of choice they’re not going to be doing it every night

I couldn't eat a meal after only eating a meal 3 hours earlier. Maybe a few chips or something.

Also I wouldn't be able to eat a lot, especially a curry, late a night irrespective! It would sit in me all night and I'd feel uncomfortable!

But that's just me, I guess some are fine with that!

Booze makes me feel starving. So even if full I could eat another meal. I feel so bloated though the next day so I tend not to drink.

Supper is what posh some people call dinner/tea

I’d forgotten all about the magic of a boozy late night curry or takeaway. It was something I did a lot of when I was younger after a night out. Not so much now, I’m not sure I could stomach two sittings in an evening.

I’d quite like to give it a try though 😄

You sound like me.

I'm hungry mid morning and mid afternoon. Left to my own devices, I'd have a good brunch, good late lunch and little or nothing for the rest of the day.

However most people seem to expect little or nothing all day in anticipation of a big dinner and won't deviate from that.

So you generally have to be starving and miserable all day or eat and pick at food you don't care for to fit in.

Oh sorry haha I’m too poor to understand.

Well they’re obviously not consuming more calories than they burn, otherwise they’d be overweight.

I could probably manage another meal three hours after the last one irrespective of the time of day and what I'd already eaten that day, especially if I was with people who would also be eating. And I expect my stomach would still be clamouring for breakfast at 8am.

What actually IS supper though?
I’ve only ever heard of it used to describe a light meal eaten a couple of hours after a dinner, so something like cheese and bread which clearly isn’t a full meal.
If I had what I would think of as ‘supper’ at 7 it wouldn’t be surprising to want to eat again after drinking.

If I ate dinner as early as 7 then I would be hungry again after a couple of hours in the pub.