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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD14 and concert

57 replies

ChalkOutlines · 18/05/2026 19:39

More of a WWYD , than AIBU.

DD was invited to attend a concert with a friend , by the friend’s mum. As we were sorting out details, it turns out they will be going on their own (seated tickets) and meeting some of the mum’s friends at the venue. So technically, they would be with adults, but I don’t know them and neither does DD. They’d make their own way there (several stations by tube , no changes). They’d be picked up by DH when it is all over . I said I’ll think about it. While I trust the other mum’s judgement, I’m quite uncomfortable with the set up. DH is fine with it, but then again he’s fine with most things. The other mum obviously doesn’t mind either , but she won’t send her DD without mine. Tickets are all sold out so I can’t go , even if I had to be in a different area.

So what would you do in this situation? Straight up no? Say yes with as many safeguards as possible? Say yes and try to find a way for me to go (possibly keep hunting for resale tickets)? Take them there and meet the other adults/do handover? Any other possibility I haven’t thought of?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChalkOutlines · Yesterday 16:55

Hover · Yesterday 08:24

Completely agree with this. A reasonable compromise would be for you to travel with them and hand them over, but really this would be for your benefit (to address your anxiety) rather than your DD's. Maybe something will go wrong - barring something truly catastrophic which is very unlikely and you can't limit her life on that basis - they will have to deal with it and that is how they will grow and learn. There are adults there with nominal responsibility for them, there will be stewards and probably police if needed, they have phones and you are only 30 minutes away anyway.

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How am I limiting her life?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · Yesterday 17:06

What is the concert? Who are the target market?

What are the bad things you’re worrying about? There’s plenty of stewards around so not sure what you think untoward would happen- if there was there would be plenty of staff within eyesight to go to. I’d just ask that they stay together.

NotSmallButFunSize · Yesterday 17:08

JaneIves · 18/05/2026 20:08

At 14 they will be denied entry without an adult accompanying them, so I assume they will physically be with an adult getting in?
As it’s seated, I would be more inclined to let her go, with a few basic instructions like what to do in an emergency etc. If it’s a large venue like Wembley, service can be patchy due to high demand but there are plenty of stewards about.

I went to Wembley stadium with a friend as part of a coach package when I was 14 (it was 1990!) and my dad picked us up from the coach stop after, I felt so grown up!

I took my 7 year old sister to a concert when I was 13 (2 of my friends also there) on a coach trip and it was the 90s so no phone! 😵

83forms · Yesterday 17:21

ChalkOutlines · 18/05/2026 22:35

That’s the option I’m leaning towards at the moment. Take them there, we all meet up, I actually hand them off to the adults and have the chance to at least say hi/see them.

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This option.
As it is possible that dd is fibbing and there are no other adult s just other teens.
text with the other parent, deliver her and pick her up.

Hover · Yesterday 17:38

ChalkOutlines · Yesterday 16:55

How am I limiting her life?

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You're not necessarily - my point is that if you are basing a decision about whether to let her go on the likelihood of a catastrophic but unlikely event happening - as one of your previous posts implied - that would be limiting her life as it would be preventing her from a enjoying a great experience based on your irrational anxiety. If your worries are more about things that are more likely but less serious - like getting stuck in the tube, not being able to find the adults they are meant to be meeting up with, having to deal with antisocial behaviour, then it's a more nuanced position. Though IMO it's only by dealing with this kind of situation themselves that teenagers develop the confidence and resilience to become independent adults.

SellFridges · Yesterday 17:56

Access is usually age 14 for entry alone, standing requires an adult if under 16 (and some venues restrict under 14’s from standing).

My daughter has been trotting off to gigs with friends since she just turned 14. They’ve never been stopped or had issues, even though they strictly shouldn’t be standing without an adult. That said, she’s also been going to gigs and festivals since she was 7 so is super confident with the set ups.

Pigeonpoodle · Yesterday 19:15

ChalkOutlines · Yesterday 16:55

I don’t see how I’m unhealthily anxious. Is it because I actually stop and worry about a new situation?Even if I am, I fight against it so DD can grow properly. She’s been going out and about , to town (on train) for cinema/shopping, funfairs , sleepovers, been left home alone , away on holiday with a friend and her parents etc. All the normal things . Each time one of these was a “first” I sucked it up, put some safeguards in place, but it happened and next time it was easier.

You tell me what’s “unhealthily anxious “ about that.

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I was referring to the sitting in the concert part… I get the anxiety about travelling there and navigating the concert venue.

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