People reply less and less these days

[AliceAbsolum]

Mostly to whatsapps because that's how I communicate with most people.

They either take weeks to respond, or just don't bother at all.

Maybe it's me! I just feel like people want to be less and less social. Definitely since covid, but I've noticed a further shift in the last 8-12 months.

Makes me sad really.

Does everyone know about the archive function on whatsapp? It's great for groups you don't want to leave but don't want to hear from all the time either. You can go and look at it at your leisure, if you want, without knowing every time someone posts, which in big groups can get crazy. It's not the same as muting, it's a degree of sanity further.

Noooooo
I much prefer texting to being phoned

When I do this I forget they exist and never see them again…

They are busy doing what they want, so they are too busy.

You seem to be ‘sad’ a lot about completely ordinary things — sad that people are busy working, commuting, caring for children etc, sad that someone who said ‘We should do coffee’ might not mean it. Is there something else going on, OP? These are not exactly new phenomena.

I am a rebel and often leave the house without my phone, i really don't see why grown adults won't function without a bloody phone, they are like a baby with dummy.

Maybe I'm harking after a different time. College or uni when I was surrounded by peers. Working in the office pre covid surrounded by colleagues who were also friends. Traveling with my husband pre kids.

Now I wfh, juggle a toddler, can barely have a conversation with my DH without the toddler interrupting, and see a friend once a month. Bit isolated I guess

Well that's more that they dont want to. Even if they had absolutely nothing to do, they wouldn't reply or meet up. Again, that's 100% fine. OP is having a discussion about why people feel this way, and whether/why this has changed over time.

Seeing a friend once a month isn't too bad though, OP. You are doing OK.

Well, that explains it. Sounds as if you should contemplate switching jobs to something office-based, and making more space in your life for some activity where you are going to see the other people involved weekly or twice weekly? You and your husband are just going to have to tag team and have separate social lives for a while, but your toddler will grow up. You’ll have more time for you.

Thanks. Yes I know I should. Just so knackered since the child was born. I'll look into a local running club or something

This

Yes running or a club good. Its nice to get out.

I hate calls. But even texts these days are like we just do a polite

Hi How are you. Good thanks you. Yeah. Works rubbish though. I know same. Joey did good at football. Ah brilliant. Wish Jessie a happy birthday from me. Much love.

rinse and repeat 😅

or have you seen this on the community Facebook… omg no! Huge isn’t it. Can’t believe they did that. Haha

then done.

Don’t do this. Honestly I never ever pick up unless it’s my mum or siblings. I’ll get back to you when I have time. I have a few friends who love to chat, I just dont have the time. I also don’t want to be put on the spot for a favour or date to make plans. Text me so that I can think about it in my own time.

Ironic. If you can’t even manage a conversation with your dh because your toddler is there, how do you think other people have time to do it??

It comes back. My DC are now mid/upper primary, and over the past few years I've resumed my hobbies and added a couple more, and made some new friends, who also have time to go out as their own kids have also got that bit older.
Having a toddler drains your physical and emotional energy like nothing else.

Thank you, I needed to hear that!

You may not be bombarding them but they may be bombarded when your messages add to all the other ones they receive! I have quite a lot of WhatsApp’s going on at any one time, with family, friends, ex colleagues from multiple jobs, school groups etc. Lots of meeting up being arranged, it can feel overwhelming to keep up with.

I’m pretty good at replying to WhatsApps or text messages (some friends prefer to text still!) - and mostly I get a reply! Maybe not straight away but def within a couple of days. I’m in two active groups - my DC are adults so no school groups and I don’t work in an office so don’t have that side of things either. There is a neighbourhood one but I tend to lurk unless it’s pertinent to me.
it takes a few seconds to fire off a quick message/send a meme, arrange a meet up and I used to spend hours on the phone chatting to friends back in the day - WhatsApp is way easier and quicker!
I still like meeting up w friends and chatting face to face - does that make me an anomoly?

I hate that too! Don’t send dates if you don’t want to meet. I don’t get that, but then I’m literal. I won’t go down that path unless I actually want to see that person.

What's App isn't really social is it. Looking at a screen and typing isn't real social communication. It's exhausting having to keep up with messages on a screen, I'd much rather see my friends in person.

Hate it too you suggest dates then silence. Its rude. Feel people are flaky now in general. Oh keep in touch. Then nothing😐

What period of not replying becomes pointed?

24 hours is fine, 48 hours ok but is leaving it a week before replying, even though it was read immediately, telling the other person to bugger off-especially if it happens more than once?

Err, I do.