People reply less and less these days

[AliceAbsolum]

Mostly to whatsapps because that's how I communicate with most people.

They either take weeks to respond, or just don't bother at all.

Maybe it's me! I just feel like people want to be less and less social. Definitely since covid, but I've noticed a further shift in the last 8-12 months.

Makes me sad really.

This.
Phone freedom is bliss. My next step is to buy an old fashioned brick phone that does calls and texts and nothing else.

Agree with this. I could not understand people constantly texting each other. I thought it really mad. And still do.

That’s such a shame. Not saying you should do it, I’m not a WhatsApp fan myself, but if you wanted to you could always put the settings on that mean noone can see if you’re online or have read messages. So less pressure to respond, or at least I find that.

A former colleague would message me and I would respond as soon as I saw it. However if it was the other way around and I messaged her I'd wait days for a response if she bothered to send me one at all. Often when I saw her she'd say she was sorry for not replying but had been busy. At the same time I was being ignored she would be liking posts or commenting on social media. Once I realised she would rather spend time cultivating people who would help her career I minimised my contact.

They are busy doing what they want, just not something you feel is worthy by the sounds of it.

Yes exactly, and that's totally fine, but you can't say someone like this isn't replying due to "cutting down on phone use" and being "too busy". They are doing other things that they prefer, and what they prefer is scrolling. Which is totally fine and their choice, but you can see why it's leaving OP a little disappointed.

Gosh I agree. One of my friendships groups, we have been trying to agree a date to meet up for 5 months. Pretty impossible when there are two members of the group who just never reply to messages. Eventually we arranged a date put it in the diary and then a couple of days before they both individually confirmed 🙄 no apology for the radio silence. No explanation. Now I think it’s going to be really awkward when we do meet.

Maybe they're feeling inundated. It didn't used to be the case that we were expected to be on call to friends and family all day every day. I would love a slower pace of life but the expectation to always be available (and the belief that something is seriously wrong if I'm not available and responsive) means I feel harassed most days. Maybe some of your friends are feeling the same.

Yes, I mean all good points. But I'm not bombarding people with messages all the time.

I just don't know why people say 'absolutely lets meet up, I'll send some dates' and then they never do. If you don't want too then don't, but you're the one who suggested it!

Of course you can.

Just because someone wants to cut down their WhatsApp use doesn’t mean they can’t still use phone for other things.

Phones don’t exist so that people can demand constant access to others - if I want to doomscroll TikTok or play Scrabble after work instead of responding to someone’s WhatsApp then that’s a totally valid decision on my part.

In my experience is isn't one single person bombarding me with messages but just the general noise of immediate family, friends, extended family, colleagues etc that feels like a bombardment.

It’s one of those rules people follow because it’s a nicer thing to say than “sorry, but I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than meet you for a coffee”.

I phone people I want to communicate with, WhatsApp is just for basic information stuff for a group situation. So impersonal texting

I'm pretty bad at getting back to people but usually have an evening a week (usually Sunday) where I will clear up all my messages!
Its just because I'm busy and forget unless I can respond straight away to a message. I also don't live on my phone and have no signal at work so regularly have days were I'm not contactable.

I hate WhatsApp, I don’t really use it so I’m guilty of this on there too… I just prefer texts. I got added into group chats on WhatsApp without my consent but feel too awkward leaving so muted them but can see the “999+” notifications thing on it when I open it. Makes me stressed…

That’s because they don’t want to meet you, they’re saving face. British people always do this, how are you not used to this part of the culture yet?!

Its just modern life.
I've got thousands of work related whatsapps on my phone that i havent gone through to check yet.
Friends get lost under the piles so sometimes you have to get back to them when you can and its easy to forget to let things slide.

I don't know 😭 Because it's hard to not know where you stand? And sad to think all those people don't actually want to meet up

I ignore those unless it’s from somebody I truly care about. I absolutely hate them!

My friends and I (most of us late 20ies to late 30ies) do call each other btw! (We obviously also write, but important things? Or even a chat when we can’t make time to see each other and catch up? We definitely call.)

I've found with people like this, look at what they do, not what they say.

I don't use it much, friends mainly and no groups so I do reply to anyone who sends a message. It's politeness as well as if I have time to read it, I have time to reply.

Much prefer a message than knocking on my door or calling over the fence like my lovely but lonely neighbour keeps doing.

Yup totally find this too, or short answers!

Absolutely agree with this.

Aw please don’t let it die off altogether - friendship of 60 years?

If you download WhatsApp you don’t have to reply to her all the time. The WA messages between will find their own rhythm. I do know what you mean though. It’s difficult to send a chatty, newsy communication by WA. I often start in WA then have to copy & paste into an email because it’s too long.

It seems such a shame for you (both) to not be able to find d a compromise.

If they wanted to, they would.