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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Overreaction or?

43 replies

shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 19:37

Please bear with me. My son is 20 and going to his first "sex party" in a few weeks.
We are close and thankfully can talk about these things.
However I am very worried about him being sexually assaulted. Worst case scenario I know.
AIBU to suggest he takes a friend/ wingman or drug testing strips for his drink in case it gets spiked?
Know I'm probably worrying too much but I can't help it 😔

OP posts:
Whataflippincircus · 16/05/2026 19:39

WTF is a sex party? Am I out of touch?

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/05/2026 19:39

Sex party?????

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 16/05/2026 19:40

Is he planning on going on his own to this party?

Arlanymor · 16/05/2026 19:42

Are you talking about a chem sex party?

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 16/05/2026 19:44

I wonder what any 'friend/ wingman' would make of such an invite...
"Do you want to come to 'sex party' with me?

vodkaredbullgirl · 16/05/2026 19:47

Arlanymor · 16/05/2026 19:42

Are you talking about a chem sex party?

😲 just googled it.

SerendipityCat · 16/05/2026 19:59

Bloody hell. I know I'm old and out of touch, but...bloody hell. I made the mistake of googling "chem sex party" and I wish I hadn't. I gave up at the following guidance for something called "lewks" (presumably "looks") -

Top tip: everyone looks great in a gimp mask.

Right, that's me out of it. I know when I'm in the wrong place. 😬

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/05/2026 20:03

If, as other posters have suggested, this is the kind of thing where people wear gimp masks then could you get someone you trust to attend incognito? It sounds like you have a close relationship but probably not appropriate if it's you OP. But maybe another family member without any distinguishing tattoos?

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:03

Aww bless, your little boy's growing up OP.

There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20.

All part of being a parent Flowers

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:04

And don't forget to take a photo of him in his gimp mask and suit for your FB family and friends.

Bonus points if you can snap him standing by the front door.

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 16/05/2026 20:05

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:03

Aww bless, your little boy's growing up OP.

There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20.

All part of being a parent Flowers

Haha. So true.

Original poster
shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 20:06

@PennySweeet omg 🫢🤣🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 20:08

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions I prefer not to know.... Its a social event organised by the LGBTQ group at his college. That's enough information for me 🤣

OP posts:
Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:10

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:03

Aww bless, your little boy's growing up OP.

There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20.

All part of being a parent Flowers

you are being facetious aren't you @PennySweeet? Please tell me you are 😱

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:11

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:10

you are being facetious aren't you @PennySweeet? Please tell me you are 😱

Show quote history

Oh dear lol.

atiaofthejulii · 16/05/2026 20:12

shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 20:08

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions I prefer not to know.... Its a social event organised by the LGBTQ group at his college. That's enough information for me 🤣

I don't think that's a sex party!

Crunchymum · 16/05/2026 20:13

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 16/05/2026 20:03

If, as other posters have suggested, this is the kind of thing where people wear gimp masks then could you get someone you trust to attend incognito? It sounds like you have a close relationship but probably not appropriate if it's you OP. But maybe another family member without any distinguishing tattoos?

Yeah maybe start a WhatsApp group with family and friends and see if there are any takers?

Christ alive!!

NeedyLimeMember · 16/05/2026 20:13

Do you have any idea who is hosting/organising the party? Most individuals within these circles are very respectful and understand the importance of consent and boundaries. However your son also needs to protect himself by thinking beforehand what his boundaries are, how he will communicate them and also keeping a clear-enough head to be able to do so.

BoarBrush · 16/05/2026 20:15

shellyleppard · 16/05/2026 20:08

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions I prefer not to know.... Its a social event organised by the LGBTQ group at his college. That's enough information for me 🤣

A sex party organised by his college, surely not.

Tell him to enjoy himself, unless "he's" actually a her

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:16

😁

Overreaction or?
Makemeinvisible · 16/05/2026 20:18

Is he winding you up OP?

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:11

Oh dear lol.

Show quote history

what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 20:20

Yes righto all normal here

ChickenBananaBanana · 16/05/2026 20:21

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

Show quote history
hall of fame game missed the point GIF

...

PennySweeet · 16/05/2026 20:22

Selkie33 · 16/05/2026 20:20

what does that mean? I'm outta touch? sincerely @PennySweeet am baffled/naïve?

Willing to be educated 😂

Show quote history

It means yes of course I was being facetious.

Do you honestly think these words are true? 😬

"There's not a single MNetter here who doesn't remember their DC's first sex party once they reached 20."