To wonder what else can be done to break the cycle of generations living off benefits?

[Allonthesametrain]

Sounds harsh because It is. As a former teacher, then eduation social worker, now the past few years more heavily involved with school attendance.

My desire has always been to help children from unprivileged backgrounds to know their worth and achieve the best they can and this has been my career from age 23 to 57.

The number of times I've cried, torn my hair out, is immeasurable. I and colleagues have gone above and beyond to support the families, genuinely care about them, but unfortunately the outcome has been, as I've said in title, it's a continiation of the cycle of being brought up within a small community and low expectations.

So many gorgeous kids (supported throughout their young lives until they leave school) who tell you their dreams of what they want to to achieve in life, we do everything we can to enable it and some have indeed broken out of the circle but unfortunately the reality has been...

Parents who live lifestyles of no bedtime routine, tell their kids not to come back before ...pm, sleep in and don't get them out of bed ready and fed for school and as for weekends, pub and take back a new bloke

Parents who have issues themselves and project them onto DC. The kids soon realise they can stay off school for feigning illness and would actually be a comfort to Mum

The parents who just cba and say shall we just still in bed?

Of course there are so many other mitigating factors but these are the 3 main experiences we've dealt with. Unfortunately it really does come down to poor parenting and no matter what interventions we do to encourage attendance, only a minority are genuine.

So the cycle...DC think education isn't important, parents are hopeless role models and can often be aggressive to teachers, a deflection of blame.

Then oh DD gets pregnant at age 15, DS has been reprimanded by the police for scooting around in a balaclava. Then pure hostility when we try to continue to talk to them and what could be done to help.

Basically it's just such a shame, these sweet young kids who say they want to be ... become so influenced by their homelife, a need to fit in with their family and peers from the same estate, that they ignore the support we give them, don't turn up to appointments etc.

For the genuine cases, DC with SEN, the effort to try and ensure they are in best place is utmost and it's heartbreaking there aren't enough of them. Yes, we do know genuine cases and not just so many parents striving for a diagnosis because they feed DC a terrible diet and let them stay up late so are tired and irritable at school.

Expecting some backlash, whatever anyone says I can reason with.

I can believe that
DM has a cleaning company and the amount of applicants she gets has quadrupled in the past two decades. She gets huge amount of people just wanting a 2 hour per week job, graduates included. People are desperate.

Oh dear. Proof of what? COVID? The end of legacy benefits? The cost of living crisis? The housing crisis?

Please stop wasting my time.

Proof of the very clear bullet points you just laid out asserting concrete arguments?

Wow, really? I have never heard of any of these happening - or any kind of punishment for non-payers, really.

In that case, how can we get CMS to grow some balls and enforce things? Maybe MN could start a campaign?

With absolute pleasure

Pretty sure plenty are liars and chancers that know how to work the system

You have to be highly qualified as a doctor (and even nurse) these days. As such you need to be better paid than a nursery nurse, because the type of person who has the ability to become a doctor and can take the stress has other more highly paid options (law, finance, corporate.) The type of person who is a nursery nurse tends not to have alternative highly paid options. That is why they are paid less.

Yes so many changes have happened and are happening for under 25s. People need to stop thinking we have the same benefits system we had 20 years ago we don't.

In all honesty, I think the children/young adults have to want to break the cycle as well.
My mum stayed on benefits until I was 16, and suddenly found herself without money, without references and without work experience.

Growing up I didn't have anything brand new. Everything even my pants and shoes were second hand. Holidays were non existent. The heating just went unpaid, I'd often sleep with my jacket and dressing gown on.

I did have my first child at 19 but I vowed life would be different for my children. That I would break the cycle. I have been on benefits yes but I have also worked 3 jobs to support my children and now I am in a salaried position with my UC claim still at 0.

I don't want my children being cold and miserable. I want them to see that working pays. That working gets you to see the world. I won't pressure my children into a good job but I will always advise them to shoot for the stars.

So yes, the cycle can be broken but the young people have to want to break it too

But you will get that with anything it doesn't mean you punish the innocent genuine people in the process.

Yes I think you're overestimating yourself there.

What would happen if we didn't afford the welfare state?

But this is where benefits have changed significantly in the last 20 years you can no longer sit at home until your child is 16 its now 3 and will likely be reduced to even lower. The benefit system is not what it use to be

What changes?

Cuts to lwrca for under 25s

That’s cute, not changes to eligibility.

*cuts

Don't you have Google or do you really need me to copy and paste pages and pages of changes the government has made and are making for under 25s. Don't you ever watch the news?

No I know but I was just saying, this is what my mum done
Even now, she is still on benefits. Her mind set has not changed

I’m totally with you. The system is broken. We need to start with a blank sheet. That’s really shocking. Your role is so financially undervalued given the work conditions and so important.
oh I’m not dissing trades people generally because there are good ones for sure who have pride in their businesses and their work. But unfortunately it’s a sector that famously (I think fairly) isn’t the best. Turn up late, disappear, go home, leave jobs not finished, shoddy work..I could go on. I have lived half my in England and it was no different. And based on my own personal experience which obvs isn’t scientific data the foreign tradespeople were always significantly better on all standards and far cheaper. Sorry if that’s insulting to your family but I think many people would agree it’s a problem.

I thought all boomers were hard-working and had slogged their guts out for everything that they had.
Don’t spoil the narrative with the truth

Anyone who owns a home rather than renting is absolutely worse off on benefits versus working.

All I could see was change to amount, not eligibility.

Why?

Have you ever made any attempt to prove or disprove your prejudices assumptions? Looked up official figures, anything like that? 🤷‍♀️

You have literally zero proof of that. It just happens to suit your preferred set of assumptions.