To think “you do you” can come across as passive aggressive?

[TheOpenGreenBird]

Whenever someone says “you do you”, it often feels a bit passive aggressive to me, like they don’t really agree but don’t want to say it outright. I know it can also be meant genuinely but I’m not always convinced.

AIBU?

I see it as meaning along the lines of ‘go fuck your self’ but just in a more socially acceptable way .

It’s the definition of pass agg.

It's a really irritating 'modern' phrase, whichever way it's meant.

Of course it’s passive aggressive - it’s intended to be. I’d be very surprised if anyone ever thought otherwise.

Well it's definitely the only way I use it 🙈🤣

I think it's a slightly less definitive way of saying, let's agree to disagree?

I think it does mean 'I don't agree with that choice', so I'm not sure what the 'genuine' meaning would be?

Or it can just be
“we can never have a mutual open minded conversation so let us both move on to other people we can converse with more joyfully”

Surely it's the same as "on your head be it"

You do you babe.

Or...you just carry on regardless no matter how wrong I think you are.

Exactly.

"Well, you having said that, I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." Is my fave go to when I think someone is talking shite.

You do you, boo, sounds a bit softer!

Yikes I didn’t know this and I say it to mean yeah go for it do whatever works for you - 🫢😭

Or course it can. Just like "each to their own" means you do your own thing, but know I am judging you to high heaven for it.

It really doesn't. 😄

I hate it. DD always says it as a way to not engage in actual conversation.

It seems to either be passive aggressive or condescending when I’ve heard it.

Perhaps the reason it sounds PA is because that is the intention.

’Each to their own’ is more neutral.

I'd never heard the expression until I started using MN.

It always comes over to me as being very contemptuous.

Totally depends on the situation x

Yes, very.
When people suggest it on here it makes me wince.

maybe but if the person is known for doing x anyway then it prevents arguments ?

Well yeah I say it when someone is making a stupid or selfish decision after me telling them how stupid and selfish it is but they still want to do it anyway. I never thought it was nice thats why im saying it.

100% this.

It's usually used in sentences like "I couldn't possibly go out drinking while my child was lying sick in bed, but you do you"

...... when OP has asked something like "AIBU to have a beer in the garden while my 14 year old rests with a cold"