To think “you do you” can come across as passive aggressive?

[TheOpenGreenBird]

Whenever someone says “you do you”, it often feels a bit passive aggressive to me, like they don’t really agree but don’t want to say it outright. I know it can also be meant genuinely but I’m not always convinced.

AIBU?

The kinder way is live and let live

It means 'I would never do that myself but you go ahead.'

In fact it doesn't even mean 'go ahead' it means 'omg you should stop doing it immediately because it makes me think less of you as a human being and my opinion and the way I do things are superior'.

Nobody has ever used it in a kind or positive way. If you think they did then you've misread them.

It’s literally meant to be passive aggressive. I can’t imagine any other way it could be taken. 😂

I think I first heard it in a supportive 'be brave, proud of yourself' way - imagine Gok Wan saying "you do you, babe, floral tops are very flattering for the fuller figure".
But yes, now it's most pass-aggy.

Yes, exactly. But it’s meant to, usually.

If I say ‘You do you’ on here, what I mean is ‘You are making a monumentally stupid decision, but as you seem absolutely resistant to other possibilities which have been lengthily explained to you by previous posters, knock yourself out’.

Exactly this. Far more succinctly than I was going to be.

It's never meant as anything other than PA.

It's pretty rude as a phrase I think.

I agree.

Each to their own is fine, its neutral and factual.

"you do you" sounds like a pass agg dig as if you are patronisingly giving someone permission to carry on doing what they're already doing despite the fact they dont even care what you think anyway!

I always find it a curious thing to say- when people have said it to me I think, why are you saying this? of course I will "do" what I'm currently doing, I dont need your permission to carry on living my life the way I want to 😂

You do you - I don’t have the energy for your crazy shit.
You do you boo - go fuck yourself.