Worried about my 18 year old son buying joke shirts from Afflecks Palace

[ForSparklyFatball]

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice because I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting or not. My son is 18 and has started going into Manchester at weekends with his university mates. They’ve been spending time in Afflecks Palace, which I know is full of alternative stalls, but he came back yesterday with a couple of t-shirts from the shop on the top floor that does the t-shirt printing.
One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex. I’ve tried speaking to him about it calmly, explaining why it bothers me, but he just laughed it off and said it’s only a joke.
Has anyone else come across these sorts of shirts in Afflecks or had their own son or daughter bring something similar home? Am I making too much of it, or is this worth having a firmer conversation about? Any thoughts on how to approach it without it escalating would be really helpful. Thanks.

35 years ago for me 😪
And the corn exchange before the 1996 bomb

you what??? honestly keep out of his relationship

Did you actually eat in the cafe? I was never brave enough

saying that we used to drink in the Britannia hotel overlooking the swimming pool and cockroaches having a swim

Complete overreaction, especially since he's 18.

At about 14 I bought a t-shirt that said something like 'I like the Pope. The Pope smokes dope.' My Catholic parents probably hated it but didn't give me a reaction, just told me not to wear it to church or visiting elderly relatives. If they'd made a huge fuss or tried to destroy it I'd have been very indignant and bought more 'offensive' clothing I'm sure. Instead it was a non-event.

Exactly!! Obviously gone totally over the OPs head!

Batshittitude!

My 16 year old bi-sexual son has a pink T-shirt that says ‘toys before boys’ and three dildos. It’s mortifying and hilarious in equal measure when he wears it, but I’m proud of him for being exactly who he is, and making us all laugh with it.

your son has got the rest of his life for lightheartedness to get beaten out of him by capitalism and … you know… life.

let him enjoy his teenage boy humour, it’s part of what makes them daft and magical.

also ‘man I love frogs’ 🐸 is great, what are you talking about?

Yes back in the 90,s
Not that often but i dont remember it being terrible?

Might be just me looking for cheap bad beer in the Britannia instead

I remember my son coming home being all excited because the tables and chairs didnt match. Cutting Edge.

That has always been the excuse for jokes that punch down.

I am on the fence about these T shirts. Aggression towards women is different nowadays, more intense and with dark money driving lawful freedoms and rights backwards.

Wow, you must be scintillating company at parties, dear...😆

I was thinking of FCUK before you typed that.

Yes, we all go through over the top phases. Your son will settle down, op, don't worry.

Grim.

Manchster was full of cheap bear in the 90; s if you knew where to go😂

Okay, this thread was hilarious but that comma absolutely broke me 😂😂😂

Mother! I’d like to fuck…

Ha ha ha ha!

This is such a funny thread. I adored afflecks palace in the 90s and took. DD there on a uni visit a few years ago and was delighted that it hadn't changed.

I had 'Fcuk me' on my tshirt.i wore doc martens and drank cider.

Now I live in a 5 bed thatched cottage in the southwest and I have two children at private school.

I think he will be fine op.

"Don't bully me, I'll cum" is an S&M joke, not a sexist joke.

It’s not the 90’s anymore though. I don’t understand the comments… We can’t watch half of the nineties shows because of how offensive they are NOW. Imagine justifying racist slogans because they would’ve been fine in the past.

It is distasteful because of linking bullying with sexual pleasure - is it validating non consensual sex?
Of course, you want your son to know better.

90s comedy wasnt offensive.

In any case you have the right to be offended.

We were probably sat in the same pubs 😂

Quite posdibly 😂

Afflecks - in the nineties I went for the body piercings. Now I go for the ice cream.

Gingers Comfort Emporium is to die for.

You’re massively infantilising your adult son. He isn’t a child and the fact that you are ‘hurt’ by a young adult man being amused by a mildly coarse joke suggests you’ve been babying him.

Also, I don’t think you quite understand the joke? The joke is on the bully; it’s a joke mainly aimed at macho types who bully men they perceive as sensitive or unmanly because they’re massively homophobic. The idea being that if they bully him, they’ll have inadvertently done something they’re terrified of. Surely you can see that it’s not actually someone asking to be bullied for sexual gratification?!

I also don’t see why you think it’s degrading to women. It’s not a joke about women.

Is it crude? Yes. I wouldn’t wear it. I do think it’s funny, though, and I think you need to stop treating your adult son like a nine-year-old. He can wear what he wants. He can laugh at adult humour. Most kids would have pushed this kind of boundary much earlier, to be honest.

My Grandma actually started her working life in Afflecks back when it was Affleck and Browns