Worried about my 18 year old son buying joke shirts from Afflecks Palace

[ForSparklyFatball]

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice because I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting or not. My son is 18 and has started going into Manchester at weekends with his university mates. They’ve been spending time in Afflecks Palace, which I know is full of alternative stalls, but he came back yesterday with a couple of t-shirts from the shop on the top floor that does the t-shirt printing.
One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex. I’ve tried speaking to him about it calmly, explaining why it bothers me, but he just laughed it off and said it’s only a joke.
Has anyone else come across these sorts of shirts in Afflecks or had their own son or daughter bring something similar home? Am I making too much of it, or is this worth having a firmer conversation about? Any thoughts on how to approach it without it escalating would be really helpful. Thanks.

Yeah, but it’s a bit of a drip feed that the MILF shirt actually says “MILF - Man I Love
Frogs” it’s a play on words.

At my age? Sure. At their age? Funny and edgy. They still have some growing up to do. What’s OP’s excuse? I know she had some trauma , but that’s not her son’s fault or responsibility. Twice she said she’d actually kick him out over fucking tshirts. She has some growing up to do too.

I know what it's supposed to be. My son should know better than to wear that absolute garbage around me. I blame his father. He's always been spineless.

My dad kicked me out at 18. Did me no harm.

You do you boo. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the extra space under the bridge.

I love the frogs one though!

Have a hankering to go to Afflecks now

You are so disrespectful to men. I think you could be an extremely toxic influence to the men in your family. Are you still in therapy?

Those are quite amusing, the nonsense people are wearing now is just sad, the last time teenagers were even remotely "edgy" was the punk thing in the mid 70"s or maybe the heavy metal years ( with the mod/punk revivals running at the same time) of the early 80"s, since then it has just been re-invention and mediocrity. If I was printing up T-Shirts for today"s youth it would be things like "Don"t touch me, I"m with my phone" etc. that would be too much self-parody though and probably wouldn"t sell?

Or is he just more chill than you?

It doesn't sound like that would be hard.

You really dislike your son and your husband don’t you?

Yes.

That’s so cringe it’s actually quite funny.

Well, with respect and kindness, maybe you need to bring this up in your next session so you can maybe talk about ways to vent in a healthy way and process emotion etc.

I think this is a teen/ young adult phase lots of kids go through. You've made your feelings clear but 18 he can chose his own clothes and you're likely to make it more appealing the more you tell him you hate it. It's crass and immature but he is an 18 year old boy... it could be a lot worse!

Want to stop him? Go buy a Tshirt for yourself and wear the same shirt as him. Tell him you've decided that if you can't beat him you'll join him in. Copy him in a MiILF or 'bully me till I cum' shirt and I bet he won't wear it again in your company!!

My favourite t-shirt as an 18 year old was by FCUK (because that's edgy innit) and said "undress me and cover me in peanut butter and jelly" but with the words mixed up. This was quite naughty at the time. It makes me cringe now. 🤣

I wouldnt like him wearing obscenities but beyond that I'd just tell him it's ridiculous and leave him to it but hope he looses interest.

My 18 year old son picked this shirt for himself for Xmas when he was about to turn 17. It’s one of his favourite shirts that he wears in an ironic sort of way along with similar (I posted on here on Xmas Eve last year to do with his new top and a friend of mine who thought it was disgusting I’d bought him a shirt he’d asked for with an innuendo style joke on it) - a bit of a see who can wear the cringiest shirt amongst his friends. He also actually does love frogs, and the shirt has a large picture of a frog on it.

You’re being precious.

Weekend we are all going to watch OP have the conversation with the shop.

Im waiting for her to confirm the time. You will know who I am. I'll be the one wearing the Cunt hat that I paid for. for my 19 year old at his first festival

Gosh what an unusual situation

It'll be 10 am then. I'll do it to spite you

For those people who don't know Afflecks it isn't some kind of den of iniquity 🤣 it's a (much cleaned up) collection of shops- vintage, alternative, music, 'edgy' t-shirts that teenagers (typically younger than 18) find funny.

I think the condom shop has gone though.

Saturday or Sunday?
I will treat you to a lovely hot chocolate at top cafe once you have had your chat

You spelled amuse wrong.

Get her a cunt hat like yours.

She's earned it.

@ForSparklyFatball One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex.

I agree it's a daft t-shirt, but it's completely bizarre that you think this slogan constitutes an inappropriate attitude towards women. What on earth has that slogan got to do with women?

"Don't bully me, I'll cum" implies your son is submissive and gets turned on by being degraded. It's got absolutely nothing to do with women.