Paying to go to a kid’s birthday party..?

[hannneshy]

Some friends of ours havs recently booked a party for their six year old at a zoo. The invite says all accompanying adults need to pay their own entry into the zoo (£15 per adult)
(details slightly changed for anon purposes)
Is this a pisstake, or am I being unreasonable?
if this was me, I’d have absorbed that cost into the cost of the party booking - I would’ve covered it. Surely..?

I would just ask directly if it’s a drop off party and if not politely decline. I don’t think parents should be expected to pay for a party they don’t want to attend and if the hosts can’t afford it they should organise a cheaper party.

It's in a party room at the Zoo .

I don’t know why people are finding this so hard. OP I agree that parents should have built in the costs of a plus one adult into the party. It’s not really an ideal reception party on that basis. It would be much better for older children who could be managed on a drop and go basis if they weren’t prepared to front up the costs of the adult.

But what age is YOUR child? It doesn't matter what age most of the kids are if your child is old enough to stay.

And you still haven't said if you have been explicitly told to stay or just deciding to.

Your answers are infuriating. Just pay 15 quid and your child will have a fun day out.

Odd that a 6 year old is inviting mostly 4 yr old to a party. How old is your own child? If they are 6 and you don't want to pay then drop and go. Or for better value could you buy full zoo tickets and go to the zoo after the party

Okay so it sounds like you are choosing to stay because you think they are too young to drop and go, not because the hosts have insisted.

YABU. They are expecting drop offs but have given parents an option to attend if they insist. They just expect you to cover it. If you don’t want to because you feel your child is too young for that and are also aggrieved about paying then just decline the invitation.

If you can’t afford the adults to go as well you can’t really afford the party. It’s an awful lot given a present would be expected as well.

We kind of had something similar at DS’s fourth birthday party, which was at an inflatable place. The wording was ambiguous but the upshot was for four and under you had to pay for an adult to go on the inflatable with them (I am sure I was hugely popular after that party!) at £7 a time plus £15 for the child. So it was an expensive party. But kids parties just are 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t dream of charging people!

@hannneshy Had a party like this for one of my DS when younger. I had asked two mums to stay and help me with my dh and myself so we were 4 adults for 15 kids. I obv paid for the mums. Told the other parents that they could come if they wanted to but it was an entrance fee for them- everyone dropped off.

They should either pay for all the parents or have enough adults (that they pay for) to watch everyone. I would turn it down because I think it's quite cheeky to expect parents to invest their time and money (entrance fee+ gift) for your children's birthday.

I liken this to when we booked a party room at a dessert parlour for our daughter’s 5th birthday party. No entry fee but we did buy the attending adults’ desserts aswell as the kids, but there were only 3 adults plus us.

Personally I think if parents are expected to stay & have to pay entry, the hosts should pay.

Also why are people not believing OP when she says it’s a stay party - not everyone (hosts or parents) feels comfortable leaving 4-6 year olds at parties alone. In reality it’s an in between age for that.

But you still won't directly answer the question of whether that is what you have been told. It may be that they put the cost on there to put adults off staying!

Four.

They expect parets to attend

just don't go then.

I always paid all expenses for my kids parties I made sure parents weren't financially liable for anything.

In return, I NEVER went to a party where I had to pay out - it's got to be reciprical really otherwise it's unfair.

I have a five year old and staying is The Done Thing.

I am guessing it is for the OP too.

Also you can’t just drop & go - you’d need to check with hosts first at least. And it’s possible if most of the other kids are 4 that OPs child will be the only one without a parent with them.

Thank you! Now it actually seems reasonable you are expecting to stay. Not sure why it took so long to extract that particular blood from a stone.

I will pay, and most otgers will too as we’re all more than comfortable, I was asking about how normal thats all? I would never ask parets to pay. They expect adults to come by the way

I can see her answer on the first page. They are reception and aged between four and six.

Which is irrelevant. The age of OP's actual child is the only bit relevant as to whether she needs to stay.

Yeah I would pay for everyone if I was hosting. If it was out of budget as some PPs are suggesting then I would host something I could afford. Even at the play centre parties there was always a tab opened for the parents to purchase drinks and snacks (of course nobody put anything on the tab).

The child is between four and six. I’d say staying would be normal at that age.

DS is in a mixed reception / Y1 class and parents stay. So I wouldn’t agree it’s ’irrelevant.’

I feel similar. It feels like they’re passing the cost onto us guests.

I think you just choose if you want to go and pay the £15 or not. Maybe they can’t stretch to that but were keen to do something at the zoo. The downside is people may not want/be able to pay. They made their choice and you make yours.

Vast difference between 4 and 6 I'd say. I would have stayed with my 4 year olds and left them at 6. The ages of the rest of the class/party group are irrelevant.