AIBU to be frustrated by repeated wolf-themed gifts?

[Herecomes]

I am an animal lover, I am especially a dog person meaning I like wolves too if we’re talking wildlife. My mum has taken this to mean I’m obsessed with wolves - I’m really not.

Every year at Christmas she buys me something wolf related … it started off as huge framed pictures (often featuring native Americans too 😂) and in the end I had so many massive pictures piled up the spare room that I made a point of telling her I am no longer buying wall pictures as I don’t like a lot of stuff on the walls and I’ve ran out of space. She got the hint and stopped buying me pictures … instead she started buying me huge blankets, fleece bed covers etc, again featuring wolves howling at the moon, native Americans, wolf eyes staring out of dark trees etc 🤦‍♀️

I ended up with a big pile of fleece blankets that were just sat there collecting dust. In the end I asked her if she wanted any blankets as I’m getting rid of loads as I have far too many and don’t use them. She got the hint.

Now … as my birthday this year was approaching she asked me what size clothing I was. I told her. I joked to DH that I’ll probably end up with a wolf fleece jacket for my birthday … I was wrong … I got 3 wolf fleece jackets for my birthday.

I don’t get it!!! I’m in my 30s, she sees me every week … surely she can see that I don’t wear stuff like this?? It was funny at first but now its getting frustrating. She gets upset and offended easily so I’ve tried to treat lightly but come on …

What would you do?? Or do I just carry on accepting this stuff and lying that I like it to keep the peace?

You mustn't do that because your mum genuinely thinks she is doing you a favour by doing this and it really hurts her feelings when you reject it. Instead tell her you've decided only to accept gift cards now, to where you shop mostly or where you'd like to get something from, as a one off treat. And ask at the same time where she would like to get gift cards from. This would help both of you.

At one point were you REALLY enthusiastic about wolves? She seems to think she's giving you really thoughtful gifts, bless her. The blankets, if you stll have them gift them to a dog shelter, they'd love that. The fleeces...one you could wear around the house, possibly to walk your pet wolf...but not 3! Vinted the other two and use the money to buy your mum a coffee, then you won't feel so bad. Long term though, you either need a new "interest" for your mum to fixate on or just be honest with her, but Its not easy when someone is easily hurt. OR do you from now on buy every gift for her in a theme she mentions she likes casually? OR another idea, what if from now on you suggest that rather than physical gifts you would love if the both of you could save all the gifts spending and each year go on a lovely spa night away or something?

Pmsl 😂 I’m sorry OP but you’ve brought back a childhood memory of mine..and I was the culprit gifted giver.
My sister is older than me and when I was little she had a single pair of PJs with pigs on. For some reason I took that to mean she really loved pigs, and every ‘occasion’ I’d spend my pocket money on pig themed gifts and trinkets for her. This really irritated her…and of course as an annoying little sister, once I realised it annoyed her I did it all the more. I have no idea how or when it petered out, but it’s her birthday next week and I’m wondering whether I have time to pick up a little something special for her before I see her 😏

As an aside, I’ve noticed on this thread that pigs (and owls) seem to be extremely popular for this sort of misunderstanding. I wonder what it is about them!

You just need to develop a new interest for her to fixate on.

Aww, it’s the thought that counts! 🐺

Thank you OP, this is hilarious. Once upon a time this was me but with sheep. Sheep mugs, plates, pictures, ornaments, on and on and on. I wish I could remember better but I think in the end I just said 'I have more than enough sheep things and will never run out' and it stopped. But my mum wasn't a mardy bum like yours

DD pointed out earlier today that my aunt might not actually like gnomes. Lol
I got her a Father Christmas gnome in a sleigh for Christmas: it was very cute, come to think of it he could be in the loft.
I'm now going to look at wolf fleeces for her…wanna sell one OP? What size are all yours? 🤞

Ooo that gives me an idea wouldn't it be ace if a fleece could howl.
Similar to musical Christmas jumpers

Can you say you had a horrible nightmare about a Werewolf. And now have a phobia about wolves 😅. It might work.

Nope. That wouldn’t work. Exposure is highly effective at desensitising phobias. OP has been exposed to a lot of fleecey, blankety wolves.

Bluntly......why do you care about her taking offence when she doesnt care about your being pissed off? Tell her straight and let her be offended. She is just being lazy. In her head it is @Herecomes = wolf so easy. Like with a family member of ours who had my sister as Jane = Hedgehogs, or the SIL above = Pigs.

Who the hell cares if she bangs on about it? "Mum, I have told you, I dont want anymore wolf stuff, stop wasting your money on stuff I send to the charity shop" "OMG!!!!! SO YOU HATE EVERYTHING I DO FOR YOU?!!!!" "No, but I want you to stop".

And then she strops. So you just repeat again "I did ask you to stop, and you didnt".

I am sick of people like this. They can ignore your words but cannot cope with you pushing back.

Further......."mum, I know you like to buy me things I really love, have I shown you my new diamond earrings?"

I’ve had a rubbish week and this thread has cheered me up no end 😂

I feel for you. When I was younger, purple was one of my favourite colours. Now everything my mum buys me is purple. And last year my daughter bought me purple gifts as well. It's been about 15 years, and purple isn't even my favourite colour anymore !

Maybe tell your mum your favourite thing about wolves is the colour of their eyes or their coat or something? Your mum might go with it and buy you things in "wolf colours" instead of buying loads of wolf themed things 😂

I always think working extra hours for free, through lunch break ect is scab behaviour and does a disservice to workers everywhere. Why are you doing it? To get brownie points for a shitty company who is profiteering from your free labour? Where does that leave everyone else who want to only work the hours they are paid. Clock in, clock out, and stob being a scabby teachers pet.

Hmm I think I'm on the wrong thread

I think so..easy done in the early hours
You be as well give your thoughts on wolf fleece things ?

This has made me chuckle a lot 😂😂😂

This and the story of the pig tea pots. 😂

Maybe you should up the stakes and comment that you really love something - that’s hard to find?!

Why don't you tell your mum you are supporting a UK wolf charity, and would prefer direct donations instead of gifts?
This would stop the wolf themed presents, but would mean no actual present for you on your birthday.

I’m laughing my head off cause I was literally just about to make a similar thread. My friend keeps buying me “Yorkshire Terrier” themed gifts. I just don’t know why. So far I have a few YT pics in frames, a YT tray, YT make up bag and a YT cushion. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never ever said I particularly fondness for YT so I’m not even sure why this is happening.

Just tell her all the wolf stuff over the years has been lovely but you’ve gone off wolves now.

People like giving gifts they think the recipient will really like. Can you think of something else, something innocuous, for her to focus on? (Food/drink is good, then you can get rid of it if necessary and tell her you’ve eaten/drunk it.)

One of my friends once expressed that she liked elephants.

She now can no longer charity shop ceramic elephants out one door as fast as they come in the other.

Your wolf gift story made me laugh so hard.

Thank your friend for the joy she brings strangers.

I would suggest joining a club or group that adores wolfs. Some wolf loving people will adore your unwanted items.
Let friend see you wearing them once or twice then pass most things on.

My mother gets ideas in her head then I get waves of one type of present. In recent years its been bobble hats. MIL started doing same. I didn't wear them until I was bought about 5 then I started wearing them as its such a waste. I look like an overgrown toddler!

Eventually I just had to say I had enough hats and I don't wear bobble hats.

Another idea..

Converse with friend about how you treasure the natural habitat of wild creatures and that you have come to a decision to help save the planet.

Tell her it is the last present you will accept from her and that you are no longer buying her gifts. You both have enough stuff.

From now on you are puting money in a jar and donating to World Wildlife Fund. You will invite her over to eat cheese toasties and watch Dances With Wolves Near yiur birthday.

Ask her what she would like to do for her birthday if buying gifts is not suitable for the health of the wilderness. Start a new dynamic.