Money isn't everything?

[coulditbeme2323]

Is a sentiment of the rich isn't it?

I grew up not poor - but very normally. End terrace, Dad was on the tools, Mum a receptionist, a week in a cheap Spanish resort in the summer if Dad got overtime. We were very happy - but I sense it was pay cheque to pay cheque.

My husband grew up with generational wealth, went to a school everybody in the country would know, etc etc.

His parents (who I love) and their friends always talk about how money isn't everything and if they lost it all it would be fine. I am not blaming them because they don't know any different - but it's not true is it?

Perhaps it's because I grew up working class, but I love private medical care and not having to wait a year for an op, I love a holiday where somebody comes around with frozen melon and cleans your sun glasses and you aren't rushing for a sunbed at 7am, I love not having to look at what I spend.

I get there for example is no point in being in an awful marriage and rich, or getting cancer and being rich - but even in those circumstances money helps doesn't it.

Ianbu am I?

Money doesn't make you happy, but it solves a lot of the problems that make you unhappy.

I agree - it does solve problems.

But I also think it can make you happy.

It can't say compensate for a sick child, a violent marriage etc, but it can buy things that make a lot of people happy.

You have sort of proven their point because you’ve said your parents were pay cheque to pay cheque but your childhood was happy. This is what your in-laws and their friends are saying, they think they have enough happiness in lives that they can live without money. If they really thought that, they’d give it away though wouldn’t they?

Money doesn’t buy happiness is true. Bereavement, illness, depression can still affect you regardless of how much money you have in the bank. However, it is significantly easier to deal with these things with money on the bank, when you can afford time off, afford extra support.

I agree op. It’s people who have never had to worry about the gas bill, the next car payment, school trips that say money isn’t everything. They have absolutely zero idea of the pressures and strains not having money brings. And it is irritating when they come with platitudes like money isn’t everything. It doesn’t buy happiness. Blah blah blah.

No. Money isn’t EVERYTHING. Is it important? Yes. Does it provide opportunity, advantage, security, health? Yes. Does it take away grief and addiction and self loathing, cancer and abuse and loneliness? Not really.

Yeah, it’s complete virtue-signalling bollocks.

Money is very important in almost every context. I grew up middle class, have never experienced poverty, but I wouldn’t be so stupid as to think if I lost my net worth tomorrow I would be ‘absolutely fine’.

Look I agree to an extent, of course you can be working class and happy - my parents were living proof of that.

But I can't imagine for example my Father really wanted to be on the tools at 6am in December!

I don’t get it, you had a happy childhood without money but somehow think money is everything? If they lost their money and had a life similar to your childhood they could well be happy as you were. Your post seems a bit of a contradiction to me.

As Woody Allen said, Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

Money isn't "everything", but I think it's very hard to be happy without "enough". I also think that when people whonl have money talk about starting with "nothing" or "losing it all", they don't really mean to the extent that they don't know how to pay the rent.

My Grandad, who grew up dirt poor and became quite comfortable used to say "money can't buy happiness, but it makes being miserbale a damn sight more comfortable".

Btw, I wouldn't say your your upbringing was poor.

Money is like health, you probably don’t really think about it if it’s going well but you feel it every second when it’s going badly

It's not everything, but it's a hell of a lot.

It buys a degree of happiness, but there does come a point where more money doesn't buy more happiness.

I don't think money is everything, and I don't think that you can't be happy if you grow up working class. I did and we were happy.

I remember my Mum waiting 18 months for a back operation in pain and still having to work. I now live in a world where you would be seen next week.

The point I am making is that in lots of ways it can make you happy.

Well said

Money isn't everything. You can be rich and utterly miserable.

that's not the same as saying money doesn't matter and doesn't improve even the most otherwise miserable of lives.

It can absolutely. Your example referencing your one happy childhood not in poverty just doesn’t give a good example I guess.

Yes, it is absolute bullshit OP. Money solves almost any problem you can think of, including health in many instances. It affords better food and housing which helps to prevent health deterioration (both mental and physical) in the first place. It stops women being trapped by violent husbands, it means you don't have to prostitute yourself in a job that is slowly killing you, it means you don't have to pray to god that the boiler or your 15 year old car doesn't break down. Because if they do, you are totally screwed. When your IL's say if they lost the lot it would be fine, they've got no idea whatsoever. They're living in another dimension I'm afraid.

I think money has diminishing returns but starts at a very high base.

If you have no money then £10 to allow you to buy food will bring you great pleasure. The same for the next amount of money that allows you to fund shelter. In my experience that continues albeit at a reduced marginal rate until you have enough to lead your life with no immediate day to day financial concerns eg never worrying about having to pay a bill.

After that point I have found the marginal benefit of more money to be far less than I maybe expected it to be.

The saying about money not buying happiness is based on the fact that in general, people with a lot of money are not happier than people with a modest amount of money (although I believe they are happier than people who are very poor).

I dream of being rich enough not to have to work, but I know several people who are rich enough not to work and they are not necessarily happy. I know some very rich people who actually find managing all their assets very stressful. I grew up poor, so I now appreciate hugely being able to do things like afford a meal out or to go to the cinema. So I would say being about to afford food and a decent home, to raise your children and to have a modest amount of relaxation and entertainment, those things are necessary for happiness. But once you get above a certain basic level of lifestyle, whether you are happy is often more to do with your outlook and personality than income.

People that are brought up with money have an in built confidence that whatever life throws at them they can deal with it, including having no money. And they are probably right, they will be able to, so with that outlook they don't see money as the framework for their happiness. So they would say money isn't buying whatever happiness they have.
But if you have been brought up without money you see alot of unhappiness through stress and limited and denied opportunities, so you very much frame having money as resolving these issues and therefore making you happy, or at least, not unhappy.

But once you get past a level of being able to have all the opportunities and buy best health care, housing, travel, then you don't become happier by accumulating more wealth. You only become happier by accumulating more goats.

I would prefer to have my full health to be honest!

@coulditbeme2323just FYI most people have no idea what you mean by ‘on the tools’.

Money even helps with that!

Haha really?

Money gives you options, and security. It's stressful without them.