Money isn't everything?

[coulditbeme2323]

Is a sentiment of the rich isn't it?

I grew up not poor - but very normally. End terrace, Dad was on the tools, Mum a receptionist, a week in a cheap Spanish resort in the summer if Dad got overtime. We were very happy - but I sense it was pay cheque to pay cheque.

My husband grew up with generational wealth, went to a school everybody in the country would know, etc etc.

His parents (who I love) and their friends always talk about how money isn't everything and if they lost it all it would be fine. I am not blaming them because they don't know any different - but it's not true is it?

Perhaps it's because I grew up working class, but I love private medical care and not having to wait a year for an op, I love a holiday where somebody comes around with frozen melon and cleans your sun glasses and you aren't rushing for a sunbed at 7am, I love not having to look at what I spend.

I get there for example is no point in being in an awful marriage and rich, or getting cancer and being rich - but even in those circumstances money helps doesn't it.

Ianbu am I?

Money absolutely and directly buys good health.

It means decent, healthier food and the time and facilities to prepare it. Money buys access to healthier lifestyle choices such as being able to participate in sport or go to the gym and it buys access to better healthcare. It buys freedom from stress and having to choose between putting the heating or not.

It's not a concidence that there is a direct correlation between life expectancy and financial status, and indeed happiness and financial status.

Happiness may be a state of mind but it's much easier to find it if you have the means to reduce the basic stresses of life and to do things which make you happy.

I’m well off and financially independent. I appreciate how much easier my life is and that I’ve become accustomed to not worrying about it. I can also enjoy cheap holidays and restaurants. I don’t enjoy shit food however. Make of that as you will. The biggest financial advantages I have been able to buy have been an education for my children and good private healthcare. I believe that those 2 things in life should be equal to all and that those are unfair advantages. Also privileged in divorce to be able to separate with no worries about moving out and having my own place. I really feel for those who can’t leave or are stuck under the same roof.

It isn't everything but it helps a lot!

I agree

It isn’t everything but it isn’t nothing either.

Your parents in law are talking out of their arses and need to check their privalage. What are they getting at with this talk?

I agree with you.

People who say money doesn't matter for the most part are people who haven't experienced struggling with money or being genuinely poor.

Money matters for having a relative level of comfort and freedom.

I agree, but in their head they they think they aren't.

Having enough money to cover the cost of the things you want and need makes a real difference and probably is everything.

Beyond that though, it doesn't make you happier pound for pound.

After that it depends on the individual and what you want from life.

The sort of holiday "where somebody comes around with frozen melon and cleans your sun glasses " is my idea of pure hell. I don't need more money for that.

DIL is similar your DH. I think the greatest thing that wealth give you is confidence and a safe place to land allowing you to take risks. How many people don't set up their own business or retrain because they can't afford to or are afraid to risk their home?

"For me, the real wealth comes from being healthy and having the time to enjoy life and spend meaningful time with my children"

I agree very strongly with this. But I think ultimately this comes down to being well off enough that you can afford to not work for a living.

What's hell about it?

Exactly.

Ok op. Id keep the discussions with them superficial if i was you.

We’ve just gotten to the point 5 years ago where we could afford a package holiday and it was cheap and fantastic! People complained when the coffee or buffet ran out of their preferred items 2 holidays in Cuba). Plus we can stay in a cheap hotel with a pool for a night or two the years we can’t afford it. I keep telling my kids how lucky they are to stay in a hotel when I didn’t even know what that was at their age.

I have to watch the groceries but not too hard/always enough which I think was the same as my parents, but back then we got takeaway/a cafe treat once a month not every week. My kids get a doughnut or burger out every weekend!

So we are already on a life changing amount and I think the only thing I envy from your life is private health care. I did a few months of ozempic when I got an inheritance and would love to do it long enough to get full results. Or see a provate doctor and get all the tests to find out what my chronic pain is.

I think it would matter far far more if I had to worry more about the heating and be back to counting pennies for groceries. I suspect your in laws would hate that too. I have a great life and hope most would agree.

We always say money can’t make you happy but all things being equal I’m happier with it than without.

What holiday gets people to clean your sunglasses?? 🤐

Depending on your age, you were more advantaged than most of my generation (45). I never went abroad until I was working and paid for it myself.

For your IL family, im curious if they married out of love or necessity? You seem to have landed on your feet as they say, would you go back to a childhood lifestyle??

They are great people like really great, but both know no different.

I would rather not!!

I'm an introvert who dislikes beach holidays. Having someone fussing over my sun glasses and handing me melon is my idea of hell.

My point is that having enough money for the things you want is what makes someone happy. Above that amount it's just money you don't have a use/need for.

So have you not answered your own question?? Money buys better quality. You wouldnt go back to your old life.

No I don't think so.

Ok Just a boasting brag that you have gone from rags to riches then?

I’ve been both below the poverty line (as a child) and well off (now), and though money doesn’t bring happiness by itself, it definitely helps. I had a mostly happy childhood but I remember having to walk around with no sole on my shoe because we didn’t have the money to replace them, only eating one meal a day, the electricity going off in our house because we hadn’t paid our bills. I look back fondly (ish), especially now my brother has died because I know how much love there was in our house despite the fact we had nothing at all.

It’s much easier to be happy now, I haven’t had any money worries in years, we can do basically whatever we want within reason, my kids can have whatever they desire, I don’t get stressed when I see a big bill. But I’d probably still trade it all to have my brother back.

Not a boast, and I wouldn't say I was rags - it was more a post of how rich people who were born rich don't really know their privilege.

Good for you.

Other people have other priorities, and that is also fine.