Money isn't everything?

[coulditbeme2323]

Is a sentiment of the rich isn't it?

I grew up not poor - but very normally. End terrace, Dad was on the tools, Mum a receptionist, a week in a cheap Spanish resort in the summer if Dad got overtime. We were very happy - but I sense it was pay cheque to pay cheque.

My husband grew up with generational wealth, went to a school everybody in the country would know, etc etc.

His parents (who I love) and their friends always talk about how money isn't everything and if they lost it all it would be fine. I am not blaming them because they don't know any different - but it's not true is it?

Perhaps it's because I grew up working class, but I love private medical care and not having to wait a year for an op, I love a holiday where somebody comes around with frozen melon and cleans your sun glasses and you aren't rushing for a sunbed at 7am, I love not having to look at what I spend.

I get there for example is no point in being in an awful marriage and rich, or getting cancer and being rich - but even in those circumstances money helps doesn't it.

Ianbu am I?

I don’t think that’s a sentiment of the rich I actually find it more what people without money say

They're not saying 'money is nothing' but 'money is not everything'. Indeed, it's not everything. The riches still die of incurable cancers.

I'd rather cry in a GWagon than my current wee fiesta

Not if your surgeon doesn’t know what he’s doing!!

This is quite black and white, poverty versus lots of free money... I think like many things there is a middle ground. Yes I think you need to have enough money to be able to pay your bills, eat, have a decent enough amount of savings that you can fix a faulty boiler / washing machine etc. Lots of research show the impact of poverty on health/ mental health.

However, I often see posts on here, (eg i only have 1700 personal money after my share of the bills) where I think how much would be enough?

For me, the real wealth comes from being healthy and having the time to enjoy life and spend meaningful time with my children. So in short, yes there is more to life than money, but that's based on having more disposable money than lifting being able to lift yourself out of poverty...

Money buys you choices .

Money isn't everything, and I say this as someone who has never had much of it, and sometimes struggled because of that. It's better than a kick in the head though.

As others have said, it can't make you happy (some of the wealthiest people I've known have also been the most miserable, or had mental health or addiction problems - and in the case of the latter, the money ended up being a very negative factor that likely contributed to his death) but it's generally better to have money than not have it.

You are conflating issues because you have said you had a happy childhood. Your dad probably didn’t want to be doing that job but from what you have said it didn’t make him unhappy, even if there are days when he’d rather not be doing it. So your in-laws are arguing the same thing. They think their happiness is solid enough and they focus on family that doing a manual job like your dad, or waiting 18 months for an operation like your mum wouldn’t make them unhappy. Your parents went through times that would have been made immeasurably easier with money but you still say they were happy.

Having money makes it more comfortable if you are unhappy. Sometimes money can directly buy your way out of that unhappiness - the means to flee a relationship and set yourself up, decent therapy, private healthcare, getting your kids into a school they are supported. Sometimes it can’t - you can visit all the expensive therapists but still be deeply unhappy, see the number of celebrities that have committed suicide. Your children can still suffer with terminal illnesses and no access to experimental treatments will change the outcome. It does make your life easier when you are in these points. It means you can buy help so spend more time trying to get better, or take time off, potentially access healthcare quicker or access specialist medical equipment easier. Having money makes life a lot more comfortable when you are in hard times.

My take on things is that when I was completely skint. I enjoyed coming up with ways to save money. Many of which I do now knowing that I never need to worry about money again.

Strangely, unlike the op, growing up in a poor working class area made me and my friends appreciate money, but not care or worry too much about it. Skint, do without. Flush, spend it. I think our mentality has been that something will turn up

I love having a lot of money (a fair bit, anyway), and I'm always aspiring to make more. My sister on the other hand isn't fussed at all. We grew up in the same circumstances.

Working class is very different now to what it was years ago. Surviving in minimum wages in this country in 2026 is not easy, quality of life is far worse than it was even 10-20 years ago. DH Mother never worked, his Dad worked in a factory all his life but they still live in a house worth 500k now and never went without this could not happen today.

Only people who have money can say money isn’t everything.

I have had a couple of problems this year, both of which totally would have been solved with money.

Most problems can be. Or if not solved, then lessened.

I think the problem is our parents would sacrifice things to keep the household together and children happy. I constantly see people complaining on here saying they can't afford things even though they earn £50k+. Nowadays, a lot of people have the latest phones, games consoles, new car every few years, takeaways every week, Netflix etc, nails, hair appointments spray tans, new clothes every season, new house decor and refuse to go without things because they can't afford it and so dont know how to enjoy life without spending money.

No money or very tight money can erode happiness.

Not enough is a constant low level stress and worry - and actual poverty is grim.

I do think though there there a level of comfort/money where more doesn't increase happiness and where that is will vary between individuals and which society they are in.

Apparently high earners in US feel poor at moment because the comparsion for them is the super wealthy and the lifestyle costs they have are extreme and it's so easy with tehir limited safety nets and poor saving to fall lower down.

You’re more likely to have it if you have the money to look after your heath, scans etc

Exactly this.

My parents were reasonably comfortable, though my father told me afterwards he had sleepless nights wondering how he was ever going to pay off his £3,000.00 mortgage.

However, I was at primary school with children of some seriously rich families. For a while, one of the pupils would steal my lunch because it was made for me each day by my mother.

If only we had known we each envied the other’s circumstances. I envied him being allowed to pay for lunch every day.

just like oxygen, having too much can be as bad as not enough.

Completely agree- money can buy you security, health and happiness.

It's been studied and it increased money increases happiness.

Stress can be caused by not having enough money to pay the bills, holidays, shorter working weeks, private healthcare, better schools, repairs on the house, car upkeep/replacement, early retirement ... the list goes on! Even without talking about real poverty, which is just terrifying.

I used to have a proverbial “Big Job”. I took home almost £20k per month net. But it was incredibly high stress, and I lost a sense of purpose.

So I quit, took a more than 80% pay cut, and am now doing a job I love in service to others. Yes, I now have to count every penny and I don’t have luxury holidays or private medical - but I do have time for the DCs (I’m a single parent) and a true sense of worth. Don’t regret my choice for a moment.

The OP is correct.

Money gives you freedom

Money is like good looks or a loving relationship - it matters a hell of a lot more when you don't have it.

YANBU.

Money absolutely buys happiness and it is always people who don't know what it's like to have literally nothing who argue otherwise.

This is my point.

I am 42 and have been married 13 years which is approx 30% of my life meaning I grew up in a working class household for the majority of my life.

In this short 30% I have been able to get my Mum medical care that was never coming under the NHS and see her pain free, pay of my parents mortgage so my dad wasn't on the tools with his dodgy knees in his 60's, and see parts of the world and experience things I didn't ever think possible.

Money can solve a lot of issues that make people unhappy - it can take away worry about paying the bills and feeding the kids etc. It can buy time - eg a cleaner instead of having to do it yourself etc.
The things it cannot buy - health etc, it can help make things easier - money to pay bills whilst ill, private healthcare and expensive drugs etc.

at the end of the day though happiness is a state of mind and people can be happy with no money and other unhappy with all the money in the world.