Would you go on holiday with your adult daughter?

[wanderlustdiaries]

I’m in my 20’s, mum is in her 60’s.

I’ve asked her if she wants to go on a girls trip at the end of the year. 4 nights in a city in Europe (we’ve not chosen yet).

Would you do this? I don’t know if It seems a little odd to do or if it’s totally normal.

PLEASE READ OP's UPDATES BEFORE POSTING

Oh sweetie, please don’t feel that way. A lot of older couples don’t like/are not used to doing things separately, especially big things like travelling. I know my h was a bit ‘oh, you’re so lucky, going away with dd, what about me?’ sort of thing…

Do you have the kind of relationship with your mum where you can talk about things and you can say how much she upset you?

Sorry, I posted and then read back, thats really sad, but having said that I guess I assumed your mum was on her own. My trips with my mum were only after she was widowed, prior to that she would have definitely gone with my stepdad instead I think.

I’m sorry about your mums response. As a mum myself I can’t ever imagine being so cold so I imagine this is a her issue not you. What’s she like generally?

When I was single and didn’t have anyone to travel with I joined group holidays like G Adventures or Intrepid. Loads of people do those and it’s not sad at all, I’d really recommend. They have all sorts of trips.

Go on holiday with my mum and Dsis regularly for shorter breaks.
I also go away for long weekends with DD 18 and/or DS 20.
I like spending time with them and exploring new places.

im so sorry your mum didn’t want to go. Does she go anywhere without your dad and does she have commitments with grandchildren?

Do it, the memories will last forever!

Of course!! I’m in my 50s, daughter is 18 and we’ve already said we will during her gap year!

i think you're projecting your own feelings here tbh. I also wouldn't have wanted to go on holiday with my own Mum at that age but I now have my own DD 22 & I'd still love to go on holiday with her if she wants. I don't think it's weird at all.

@wanderlustdiaries you might want to report the thread and ask @MNHQ to add a caveat to the title that MNers should read all of your updates.

That's not really helping when she has just said her Mum doesn't want to go.

That sounds amazing and it’s memories of your mom you will have forever. Something to cherish ❤️

I love going on holiday with my mum and dad! A couple of years ago did a week in Amsterdam with my mum and then my dad flew out for the second week once my mum had gone home. Nice arts and culture week with my mum (who’s pretty classy) and then a fun week of partying and silliness with my dad.

If you get on with your parents then spend time with them while you can.

Oh I’m so sorry she has said she doesn’t want to go. You HAVE to still go…you can suit yourself and have a brilliant time doing exactly what you want. It’s not tragic at all! Travelling alone makes you look cool and confident. I’ve been away for European trips alone and I love it. Take a book to read when you have dinner if you don’t like dining alone. Do a walking tour in a group. Maybe stay in a hostel with a social space? You’ll meet other people travelling alone that way if you want company.

I would also love to have had the kind of relationship with my mum where we could have gone away for a weekend or even for a lunch out together. But she is so codependent with my father that it is impossible to do anything with just one of them. Sounds like yours is similar. It’s their loss.

Some of these replies are going to be making OP feel worse.

She’s already spent the evening crying.

Please RTFT

OP what these replies do show you though is how lovely you are and how mad your mum is for not wanting to go.

im not saying this to make you feel guilty or anything just to add perspective, I was super close with my mum, she passed 13 years ago and wish I would have done more things with her while I could. It doesn’t matter what others may or may not think. If you like spending time with her go and enjoy time with your mum.

Oh I’m so sorry for my post! I hadn’t read the full thread. My apologies @wanderlustdiaries

@wanderlustdiaries
As someone who has travelled lots on their own, cry tonight then pull up your big girl pants and get out there and enjoy yourself.
Your mum has completely missed a trick. It's her loss.
Where were you thinking of going?
A beach flop or active?
If you're not so keen on travelling alone, look at Explore or similar and join a group trip.

My Mum Aunt and a similarly aged friend of theirs plus me all used to go on holiday once a year for a week in Nice . We had a brilliant time . I've also gone with just my Mum and always enjoyed it . All of those people are gone now but I've such lovely memories of spending time with them.

I've gone away with my daughter a couple of times. The first time just the two of us, last time dsil came along, and we have 5 days sitting by a beach somewhere hot and sunny planned for September with both my dsis and my dsil.

Dh went away for a walking/ camping holiday with our two ds this year, and they are hoping to do it again as they had a great time.

Absolutely do this.

Ah I'm sorry OP, another one who didn't read the full thread x

I would definitely go away with my Mum and I really hope my daughters would go away with me when they are older.

@wanderlustdiaries if you are feeling really upset and feel a bit overwhelmed by this thread, please get some support in real life if you can. The Samaritans are great for a chat. There’s honestly nothing to feel embarrassed about but yes, it feels very much like rejection right now. Or do go onto relationships board for support, you can link this thread. It will be ok x

Edited because I hadn't read the whole post so my original response was singularly unhelpful.

Soooo normal! Enjoy!

Why would it be odd? Literally everyone I know does this

but u also know people who go alone. Go, enjoy the break