To tell friend about stag do grossness

[Politicszz]

I have a bit of a dilemma…one of my best friends is getting married. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and he has met the wider group a few times. He isn’t really a drinker. He is going to the wedding, and was added to the group chat for the stag do (weekend away in UK, somewhere renowned for drinking) to see if he wanted to go.

He sent a polite message to decline and explained he’s not a big drinker so best he gives it a miss.

The best man who is organising it is the long term partner of another of my friends. My boyfriend has shown me his reply which was to say ‘No issue if you don’t drink, you can still enjoy a few strippers and a brass’. He again made his excuses and left the group.

He thinks this was said jokingly. But I’ve heard enough stories about these trips to know what can go on.

I don’t know whether to mention to my friend or to keep out of it.

YABU - don’t say anything, mind your own business

YANBU - you should relay what was said to your friend

Sorry for being dim, what is a brass?

I wouldn't say anything - no good will come of it

A Brass is a prostitute (cockney rhyming slang)
It sounds like a joke with such a ridiculously old fashioned expression? We don't know them though, you do! Are they the type of men to go to strip clubs and prostitutes? Where are they going? What is the plan?

This, don’t open your mouth!

It’s really got nothing to do with you what might or might not go on, stay out of it. The B2B will see it as you stirring trouble with your holier than thou boyfriend.

Nothing will come good of medaling in this, the lad will say he was joking and you’ll look a fool.

I would of taken that as a banter reply

Unless she has been living in a convent your friend will also know what can go on at a stag do. I think sharing the messages will reflect badly on you and your bf and it will be claimed it was just a joke. Talk to her if you're worried but don't mention any 'proof' of their plans.

It's very refreshing OP that you have a decent man for a bf.

Yes I would mention it to your friend. She can do what she likes with the information. No doubt she will be told it's a joke but I would very much doubt it is.

it was humorous

Sex worker

What does it rhyme with though?

Honestly, I’d assume that’s a joke, perhaps slightly mocking the clean-living non-drinker declining the invitation, and telling him he can still get up to the other traditional stag activities. I don’t think for a moment it’s a statement of intention.

I was thinking that… brass monkey? Brass bell? Brass band? Brass ring?

Oooh apparently it’s brass nail (tail) or brass rubber (scrubber).
Tbh that’s not very convincing…

This.

They’re doing standard stag stuff, so not a biggie.

I’d keep out of it. I think it’s a harmless jokey reply about what may or may not take place.

Thanks all, I’ll keep it shut.

A brass?! Is he in the Peaky Blinders?

It’s really got nothing to do with you what might or might not go on, stay out of it. The B2B will see it as you stirring trouble with your holier than thou boyfriend.

You must have a very low bar. He doesn't sound holier than thou but a keeper.

Sounds like banter to me, joking around with your boyfriend who doesn’t lovely btw. I suspect that they are going to be drunk by 6pm and asleep by 8, all talk!

To me is not the cliched bar overused expression it is just simply nothing to do with op

I have the joy of regularly sitting near groups of stags and golfers returning to the U.K. from Vilamoura and Albufeira and hearing about the absolute rockets at the titty bars. Given the number of them (Gentlemen’s Clubs) and the number of brothels and sex workers there is clearly a very high demand. It’s very dispiriting.

Presumably some groups of men do go golfing without going to strip joints but I suspect it’s a smaller percentage than most of us assume 🙁

I don’t think the Best Man was joking myself but no good will come of you sharing that.

Yes, I would tell your friend, whose partner is the best man. Without a doubt.

You’ll never be a fool if you’re looking out for women being cheated on. If anyone think you are then they are either embarrassed or have rock bottom standards.

It just sounds like (admittedly naff) male banter. Your boyfriend was the wrong audience for it, and that’s fine - he got an invitation out of politeness from people who probably wouldn’t be his friends if their partners weren’t.

No need to make it bigger than it is.

Yeah. Agree it's not the level I'd do anything about. If it was after the fact and you knew all sorts of dodgy things had happened and your friend should get tested for STDs and whatnot... that's important. But a bit of (gross, disgusting) banter on a WhatsApp chat? I'd move on.