To tell friend about stag do grossness

[Politicszz]

I have a bit of a dilemma…one of my best friends is getting married. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and he has met the wider group a few times. He isn’t really a drinker. He is going to the wedding, and was added to the group chat for the stag do (weekend away in UK, somewhere renowned for drinking) to see if he wanted to go.

He sent a polite message to decline and explained he’s not a big drinker so best he gives it a miss.

The best man who is organising it is the long term partner of another of my friends. My boyfriend has shown me his reply which was to say ‘No issue if you don’t drink, you can still enjoy a few strippers and a brass’. He again made his excuses and left the group.

He thinks this was said jokingly. But I’ve heard enough stories about these trips to know what can go on.

I don’t know whether to mention to my friend or to keep out of it.

YABU - don’t say anything, mind your own business

YANBU - you should relay what was said to your friend

This ⬆️

I can’t believe how many women on this thread are excusing th BMs comment as ‘banter’!

So naive!

I don't think it's possible for us to know for sure, but from the context that sounds like a joke.

If there were definite plans that he knew about then that is different, and disgusting.

I'd stay out of it.
And although the Iad stripper culture type of man does nothing for me-in fact, I find lads a turn-off- I do think that your boyfriend was in the wrong to show you.

Just gives me a creepy vibe that he grasses on other men when it's got nothing to do with him.
What's his holier than thou facade hiding?

Why show you? He can't be unaware of what happens on stag nights.
Why didn't he just shrug it off?
Why didn't he take the attitude of not my circus, not my monkeys?

So brownie points for the polite refusal, but not for telling you about the text.

I just think your boyfriend is out to cause trouble between you and your friend.

I'd be wary of him.

Red flag.

I'm guessing the BF doesn't feel he knows the best man well enough to judge whether or not he was joking. If the stag does feature sex workers the BF has been warned in advance and might be blamed for not sharing this information. Even the OP, who has known the best man for much longer, is questioning whether this was banter.

Not your business & plus it wont look good on your bf for telling tales to you

I don't think it's necessarily banter but it makes no difference.
The boyfriend won't be blamed for not sharing the text even If the groom is caught with a sex worker, what was texted to the boyfriend would be the last thing on the bride's mind.

The thing to do would be to ignore it and/or delete it.

Can't help but think that the boyfriend is out to cause issues between the OP and her friend.

It's not a sign he's a good boyfriend at all.

Most men aren't that bothered about other people's relationships.
Why the heck should they be?

The boyfriend's a creep out to cause issues.

Depressing.
I would never marry a man who would shag a "brass" - stag do or no stag do

I agree it is indeed very depressing.

As is the women on here excusing it as 'lads being lads' or 'just banter'