AIBU to think my husband is being an asshole regarding my ear infection?

[HealthConcerns]

Just that really. Currently on day 6 of an ear infection. Started as an outer ear infection, I was given antibacterial ear drops 2 days after the pain started (as I’ve had that feeling before which goes away so wanted to wait before seeing GP).

I was using them as instructed for 2 days along with alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen. No relief whatsoever, and yesterday my ear popped and some muck came out of it so I went back to my GP. My eardrum has ruptured and I’ve got a middle ear infection so am on some oral antibiotics and prescription strength pain killers.

Here is where, in my opinion the assholery behaviour starts.

Ive worked all through this, done all the school pick ups and drop offs, done my share of the housework etc without complaining but this morning (day 6 of infection, day 2 of stronger meds) my temperature spiked to 39 degrees Celsius, I’m shivering and can’t get warm, the pain is something else, I can barely lift my head off the pillow without wanting to be sick.

I didn’t really sleep last night either due to the pain so I called in sick to work today and I have another appt with the GP tomorrow (on their advice) as I really should be starting to feel better now, even if just a little bit when in reality I’m feeling worse. The whole side of my face hurts that side and I can’t open my mouth properly to chew food without my ear hurting even more.

He has had to do the school runs, dinner and dishes today, and is highly likely to need to do them tomorrow unless a miracle happens overnight. He’s been stomping around the house, moaning that he’s having to work as well as do “all your stuff” how im lazy and it’s “just an ear infection” and that im wasting resources with all these appointments and medications.

AIBU to think he’s being an asshole about me being ill or should I get a grip as it’s “just an ear infection”?

He's a huge arsehole. I hope he gets an ear infection as bad as yours. It sounds awful, wishing you a speedy recovery.

So sorry OP, this sounds really miserable for you. As others have said, please be aware of mastoiditis or sepsis. Is the bone behind your ear swollen or tender at all?

So he doesn’t know what a ruptured eardrum is or he doesn’t care. DH had one and was absolutely miserable and sick with the pain. He had one day of fevers so bad that I almost called 999 because he was a bit delirious. If you’re feeling shivery and unwell and you have facial swelling, please call 111. You may need an antibiotic drip. Attached is a photo of the list from the NHS of when to seek “immediate medical attention” and it sounds like you have most of the list.

And your husband is being a complete bastard. I imagine it must be quite tempting to kick him in the clackers and tell him, “Yeah, it feels a bit like that. Do you understand now?” What a selfish arsehole he is.

1. Call 111 especially if you have an uncontrolled fever and have been on oral antibiotics with no improvement. Sepsis happens. Does he not realise how serious and awful this is? Has he never been ill?

2. Tell your husband he's being an awful human. They are his children too and you are supposed to be a team. Awful behaviour.

3. Tell him you are not doing any childcare for days you will be recovering and resting and getting further medical help.

What a twat.

I went to a&e for a perforated eardrum when I woke one morning in agony with my ear bleeding, came out of no where.

Was one of the worst pains I've ever had (not THE worst) but fucking up there.

YANBU.

Actually earache and toothache are just the worst because there is literally almost nothing you can do to stop the pain, help the pain, or get past the pain. Can't sleep it off or nothing.

Hope you feel better soon, fake some hearing loss so you don't have to listen to him whinge.

Yes, you're right; your husband is being an arsehole.

You're sick. A burst ear drum and the infection you describe is not "just an ear infection". And why is it YOUR job to do all the school runs and wash the dishes? Are they not his children too? Does he not eat and also use the dishes? I'd tell him he needs to cut out the bitching and step up. This is what a partnership is. And next time he is ill I would probably be petty enough to remind him of what an arsehole he was when you were sick.

Oh I’m so sorry. Ear infections are one of the worst pains I’ve ever had (other than childbirth). At least with childbirth it’s over with quicker and the Adrenalin keeps you going.

he’s being a horrible arse.

once you’re better I think you need a chat!!!

Wow what a horrible man.

He is a first class wanker. It enrages me reading stuff like this. When you are better you need to have a long hard chat about this. It is so unacceptable

Total agree that they are bastards! I had a nasty ear infection a couple of winters back, the pain made me cry and I ended up on antibiotic drops and pills. I was unwell for a good week.

What an unpleasant man he is.

Sorry, OP, hope you are better soon x

When I'm feeling ill I go to bed and my husband just cracks on with it. He would never dream of minimising my pain or stropping because he has to look after his own house or kids. I hope you feel better very very soon.

Utter prick of a man. The “All your stuff” comment would have me considering divorce. Do you work full time? Are the kids his too? What kind of partner does he think he is???

Look after yourself OP. You deserve better. Do you have parents nearby who could help you?

Your DH is a shabby partner. You can address this once you are feeling better.

Just to update you all who were so lovely last night - I was even worse overnight so called 111, they said to wait to GP appt this morning. At the appointment GP did my vitals, checked my ear (which is now fully closed shut) and advised me to go straight to A&E to get IV antibiotics. Still waiting as need to be assessed by ENT but they are taking great care of me. Decent pain relief, have fed me and going very regular obs. They’ve also done swabs to see what infection we are dealing with.

people moan about the NHS but honestly, I cannot fault the treatment I’ve had, even if it is taking a bit longer to be properly admitted than I thought.

When I was younger, I lived with a guy.
We were not married and had no children. Thank goodness.
Anyway, one morning - it was a Saturday and we didn't work weekends-I woke up extremely nauseous.
I spent the next 8 hours vomiting and feeling dreadful.
Not only did the bastard show zero compassion, but the tutting and arsey behaviour was off the charts.

Just one of many signs of his narcissisism.
They hate sick people.

I left the cunt soon after. I have this image of me violently throwing up and him scowling at me.

Utter prick.

I hope that you manage to leave your cunt of a dh, too.
Best Wishes.

He sounds like a right prick

Some men are such cunts I've come to believe the ladies of The Golden Girls were onto something.

We're not designed to be together after the children are grown.

Oh yes I'm sure that many men diligently look after their sick wives and God bless them, but, let's face it, most don't.
Better off living with other women.

I hope you feel a lot better VERY soon!

As for your husband; may he get an equally severe and painful ear infection within the next 12
months. Arsehole!

I’ve had middle ear infections less serious than yours and the pain has sometimes been so bad I couldn’t sleep or chew. Poor you!

Glad you will get proper treatment. Ear infections are horrendous!!

Is he still being a prick?

@HealthConcerns I really hope you start to get better OP. This sounds horrendous. But to answer your question. Yes, I can confirm you are married to an insufferable prick. When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

He’s shown his true colours hasn’t he. Read your update too, and I hope he now apologises properly or is be rethinking the future. Get well soon.

Hopefully you can stay overnight and get a decent break from the useless prick. Feel better soon!

Your dh is a prick. I would think about getting a divorce when you are better. Ear infections are really painful. I can still remember my last ear infection. It was more painful than when when i injured my knee and i didn't even end up in hospital. At least i could relieve the pain when i injured my knee. Pain killers didn't touch the pain when i had an ear infection.

I hope you feel better soon OP, that sounds awful. He is a complete bastard, I can't understand how someone can be so unsympathetic when someone is in pain. Just as a human, let alone as your husband. Get well soon.

Feel better soon OP. Fingers crossed IV antibiotics work their magic quickly. Your dh is being a knob. I'd seriously reconsider the relationship after this. It shows his true colours.