To not reprimand staff for not smiling?

[squashedalmondcroissant]

I work as a manager in a catering/hospitality business, small local chain.

I had a call from a senior staff member about a negative review we were given online that essentially said they didn’t feel that the staff member on duty (not me) was smiley enough. I have now been tasked with pulling up this staff member on this.

I am very much not someone who is easily offended or quick to jump to misogyny but something about this feels..irritating to me. (The person complaining was a man and all the staff are women). They didn’t say the staff were rude, unpleasant or ignored them, just that were weren’t smiley and ‘welcoming’. I know the staff member and they are always polite and helpful but they do have a bit of a ‘resting bitch face’ when not intentionally grinning like a Cheshire Cat!

Something about this is rubbing me up the wrong way. It seems the main complaint is the staff not smiling while doing her job perfectly competently. Should I reprimand her for this? I understand that when customer facing sometimes you need to fake it a bit but is just her natural face position so offensive to someone that she should be forced to plaster on a fake smile? I’m torn!

What the hell is this resting bitch face?

is it what we call “concentrating” when we are referring to men

stop trying to manipulate women’s bodies

If I were your staff member
You would be getting a complaint from me to HR or whatever your equivalent is about how you have been sexist, enabled misogynist attitudes, damaged my confidence and made me feel miserable and self conscious.
I'd probably also look for another job to be honest.

But then I am utterly sick of "cheer up love", "give us a smile" men snd women who pander to them.

I hope you have given her praise where due and she knows she is valued.

Sounds like you should pass this complaint over tbh. I don’t think smiling is a requirement as long as otherwise they were courteous and professional,

And if the shitty review obviously aimed at her is public and she may have seen it then maybe check she's OK because that's really horrible. Some won't care a jot but some might be really upset about it and given she sounds to be conscientious in her work I would've thought it would bruise if not dent her.

it’s the same for everyone in hospitality, customer service and customer facing jobs irrespective of gender
your expected to be friendly engaging which is down to your body language and facial expression

I'm not manipulating women's bodies. And it's just as bad if a man in hospitality appears unwelcoming. This is not a feminist issue, it's a hospitality issue.

If you work on an office at a computer, who cares what your face is doing. But if people are paying to have have a drink or a meal they're expecting a degree of warmth in the welcome and the service.
If you're in a restaurant and your server, male or female, doesn't engage with you in a friendly manner, it takes away from the experience. No-one expects to be given an ear to ear grin, but if you refuse to even give half a smile in welcome, you're not suited to hospitality.

Likewise, in my role I soon recognised that my 'concentrating' face was not going to be effective in making the vulnerable people I work with feel comfortable and welcome. So I put them first and ensure that I appear welcoming and approachable when they arrive. It's an important part of the role, and my organisation wouldn't employ anyone, paid or voluntary, of they refused to demonstrate warmth.

There is plenty of evidence that even faking a smile is good for you.

It isn't too much to expect a customer facing employee to staple on a smile.

(Sadly) smiling at people is part of the ‘emotional labour’ of many jobs.

’She doesn’t have a naturally ‘smiley’ face’. There’s no such thing: smiling is an action. You probably mean she doesn’t smile much.

Agree that it was a silly complaint and potentially motivated by misogyny. In your situation I might not mention it to the team member, if I could get away with that, or if not would say something along the lines of what PPs have suggested and not mention smiling.

‘If you work on an office at a computer, who cares what your face is doing.’

It’s still expected to smile at colleagues.

I feel mixed about this. Also rankle at the possible misogyny of ‘women are there to smile and look pleasing to men’. Yet I do think smiles are important for everyone! Also I notice in M&S the staff seem a bit miserable when you used to really notice that they’d make a point of chatting, in what felt like a genuine way. I love a wee natter with a sales person, I think that connection with strangers is a nice thing. Maybe you can just raise a discussion with the whole staff team about the issues and ask how they feel?

@barkygoldie It’s staff reductions. No time! I remember when John Lewis had do many staff they used to hang around in clusters talking to each other!

‘Reprimand’ is an awful approach to management. You are both adults. Not a parent and a naughty child.

give the staff member the feedback in a constructive way and ask them to consider how they are coming across to customers

When I arrive at hotel reception or even the dentist I expect a smile and a welcome. Not expecting a Cheesy grin but a smile and a warm tone in their voice

This.

I would expect both men and women in the hospitality industry to be welcoming and this definitely includes smiling.

A warm and friendly welcome from staff whatever their gender really enhances the experience. We can sometimes be a miserable lot in the UK - getting better at it for sure - but it's usual pretty much everywhere else around the world to greet customers in shops and restaurants with a smile and exchange a friendly word. I wouldn't reprimand the member of staff but use it as a learning opportunity for her to improve her interaction with customers. Whatever job she does in the future it will help her because it puts the other person in a good positive frame of mind so spreads good vibes all round and she will get back much more positive reactions from customers. Sadly some customers are rude but hey that's life. Shame we can't leave them reviews.

I'm a bit torn in this. I work in retail and I smile at literally every customer even if I feel like death and they are miserable bastards. It's pretty easy to fake it, however the customer comes across a bit of a git. An older man taking the time to make a written complaint about a young woman not smiling enough is a bit....off.

Tbh in hospitality it's quite important to be welcoming, which does come with a greeting smile. The same as other jobs, we put on a smile while inside thinking fuck off! You can just address is at what customers find positive, a little smile and positive gesture.

"A smile travels down the line"
It works

I think the comment about aiming it at everyone , rather than that one staff member seems fairer than aiming it at that one poor woman. As long as staff greet me, make eye contact and are polite enough and not really being out & out rude I don't see the issue though. Some people just like the sound of their own voice...e.g. complaining.

I agree. If you find smiling and being pleasant difficult then you should not be in a job where you are dealing with the public. Or even working with anyone else either, surely a smile is not too much to expect from someone - it's really not a difficult thing to do!.

I rem being snapped at as a 16yr old waitress by my boss one shift I was obvs bit tired hungover whatever 'would you ever put a smile on your face before you go out there' I've never forgotten it! Good advice for anyone dealing with people hospitality retail etc a smile goes a long way.

Not smiling when greeting customers IS unwelcoming. It sounds like you and other posters are assuming the customer was being misogynistic because of those knobs in the street that tell you to smile.

I have done hospitality and worked in offices and like other posters say, I was taught to smile on the phone. I am not remotely smiley but I still had to do it. I also have RBF but I know it’s not acceptable to show that to the public.

In any case I’m sure you will see whether it’s an issue with her going forward as there may be other feedback

Absolutely. I have AUDHD and I kind of have to remember to consciously change my facial expression even when I’m with friends and enjoying myself And even I managed it with the public!

I feel when you work in a public facing role you do need to smile. It is an act a lot of the time but it’s part of the role.

OK so the person who complained is a tool who has time to complain about something so menial. If her not smiling ruined his day he should go to therapy.