Was I petty? Or funny?

[SandwichShort]

So, something really funny happened. I got an official letter. It was misgendered, I only realised this whilst on hold. So, when I got through to someone, they asked my name...and then my title. I pointed out that actually, in the letter, it stated Mr, yet I am definitely in fact a Miss. That got washed over with the next question.

End of call questions, is there anything else I can help with? Yes, can you change my title? Oh yes, I have already amended that. Just like that, no drama.

it is funny how easy it is to inform someone, actually, you misgendered me in your letter, can that be corrected please? Already done. AIBU for pointing out that women who are women do not get offended by misgendering? It's more amusing than offensive?

I might have pointed out, after thanking her for amending my title, i was glad she had already done that because I was definitely born with a vagina...but that is because I am petty like that 🤣

I didn't find it funny and I don't think accuracy is petty

I don't think how I interpret humour comes across well, when typed. I was kind of trying to point out the idiocy of accuracy being petty.

I get what you mean OP. Some things you don't need to take offence at. It must be tiresum being so highly strung.

I get random Emma's. Have had it my whole life. My name sounds nothing like Emma and it's different people.

Sometimes I think I look like an Emma.

I'm GC but I do think this deliberately misses the sentiment of misgendering. The whole point is that, for the most part, a person who is transgender has made effort to adopt characteristics that are associated with the opposite sex. The misgendering is offensive to them because whether deliberate or accidental, it makes it clear that their efforts were in vain and their natural presentation was registered.

It's not a funny thing, is it? People who are transgender are either distressed by their natural state, or they have other reasons why they feel that being regarded as a woman (or man) would be better for them.

I can understand that even if I disagree with it. Your example of a typo isn't comparable.

I get assumed to be a man all the time by people I've not met or spoken to because of my name. Doesn't bother me in the least because I know exactly why the error has occurred.
I think in general people get a lot less upset by misgendering that gets their sex wrong than by misgendering that gets their sex right.

Exactly this!

I don't know what GC means? Although, the other points you made I disagree with somewhat.

Oh, do grow up.

Presumably this doesn't happen to you very often, so it's not a huge deal. It must be a bit annoying if you have the sort of name where it happens all the time. I'm sure some people have enormous reserves of patience and don't mind, but others will. It just comes across as childish and silly to make a big deal of how wonderful you were to manage the situation. And no, not funny.

GC is Gender Critical (I believe that gender is a social construct rather than an objective fact or subjective feeling).

In what way do you disagree?

No, it does not. But in this situation and what the letter regarded made me see the funny side. My name is not remotely associated with a man's name.

I will enjoy being childish and silly. Fancy that, a moment I could have taken full offence and just laughed it off.

I would be pretty miffed if someone called me a man to my face though, as I am a woman and want to look feminine.

Why would you have taken offence? Someone probably hit the wrong dropdown box. You didn’t do or say anything funny

AIBU for pointing out that women who are women do not get offended by misgendering?

YABU for speaking for all women. Depending on the situation and the woman they may get offended. Being misgendered in a letter is completely different to being called a man based on your appearance

But that's, again, the whole point. A mistake was made, a typo. You haven't taken offence because it has had no impact on you. Nobody is accidentally pointing out what you are trying to disguise. Nobody is deliberately making the point that you are, in fact, something other than you want to be.

As I've said, I am GC. I think it's really important to keep sex segregation where it matters. I don't think anyone should have to deny reality. That doesn't mean that it's helpful for people to pretend that this stuff doesn't matter to transgender individuals, or that they are 'silly' for taking offence if someone doesn't address them as they would like. For whatever reason, it matters to them. Pretending that a typo on a letter is comparable is just ignorant.

Um, ok then.

Have you considered hobbies? Or having a life of any kind?

AIBU for pointing out that women who are women do not get offended by misgendering?

They do, though. You weren't, in that specific circumstance of a minor admin error. But there are many circumstances in which pretty much any woman would be extremely offended to be called a man, and it's disingenuous to pretend otherwise. There are women on Mumsnet who kick off if they're called 'a person' rather than 'a woman' in some contexts, so I imagine they'd definitely be offended if they were called 'a man'.

How is this funny? I am not being goady, I genuinely don’t get it…

Is the funny in the room with us?

DD3 has short hair and got quite upset that a parent referred to her as 'that boy' on the beach. I pointed out that she was bent over, looking at the ground, hunting for sea glass, and she's very slim, so the parent had made an assumption that she's a boy. It still upset her.

No reasonable person would have expected you to take offence in the situation.

My mum worked full time and dad at stayed home in the late seventies/ eighties/ nineties.
For years all of the household bills etc came to “Mr MyMum’sName”.
When she contacted them eventually and said she was a Ms, they apologised and started sending them to “Mr MyDadsName”.
She contacted them again and said actually she was the bill payer.
The best they would agree to was to put both names on.

In answer to your question, neither. You were obviously right to tell them your mistake. I don’t understand what was supposed to be funny about what you said, and they probably didn’t either.

You weren't misgendered. Somebody clicked the wrong box in a menu by mistake

MY SIDES ARE SPLITTING AT THIS

Christ, the responses became tortuous quite quickly and stayed that way. I think OP was attempting to be a bit lighthearted and illustrate how these things happen and we move on quite calmly without fuss. It doesn't really require the amount of smart arsed responses it got.