What traits did your neurodivergent daughter show as a toddler?

[user2466]

Posting on AIBU for traffic.

Hi,
Just wanted peoples experiences are of neurodivergence during the toddler stages.
For context, my DD is 2.5 years old, her dad is being assessed for ADHD and autism, and my sister and nephew both have autism and ADHD too.
Nursery did some screening for speech and language today and DD scored low for her age and low for the age below. We got talking and I mentioned the family history and nursery said although they can’t make a diagnosis (she’s too young for one anyway) she does see some early neurodivergence traits but can’t say for sure if it is that.

I know many people believe you shouldn’t ‘label’ toddlers but I think sometimes you can just tell (without using it as a label).

What traits did your DD show during the toddler stage that made you think ND?

DD didn't talk much (mainly pointed), then pretty much woke up one morning speaking in full sentences. She's also hyperlexic and taught herself to read between age 2 and 3. She was reading chapter books in her head before she started school.

Walked on her tiptoes. Still does at 12!

ARFID, which started with weaning. She refused to eat pretty much everything. Improving slightly now but still very limited.

Quite sensitive to certain sounds - she used to freak out if it was someone's birthday and we sang to them. I had to take her out of toddler group a few times!

She was an absolute dream toddler really, liked to know the rules and followed them to the letter, got upset if she was "late" to bed, etc. She much happier with a strict routine.

She always seemed much older than her peers, mostly because of her language but also because she was SO well behaved in public (don't worry, her little brother was a nightmare in comparison!). We had the odd tantrum at home but as long as her routine was adhered to and she knew what was coming next, she was placid as anything.

Did not like being held/cuddled. Even breastfeeding - the easiest baby ever, ten minutes on each side, then pulled away, burped, and wriggled to be put down.

Just been reading the thread and thought of more!

Watching the same things (she'd pick one show and watch it for weeks, then suddenly switch). Hyperfixated on whatever it was she was interested at the time, so would play Peppa Pig or Frozen games all the time and then move on after awhile.

Slow for physical milestones, she's still not terribly physical (but very good at swimming!). She learned to walk at 11mo but refused to do it without holding hands until she was 14mo or so. First time she crawled she was about 2! No interest otherwise. If she was on the floor she couldn't get onto her feet by herself and used to wait for someone to help her.

Much preferred the company of adults to other kids. At preschool she would flit between the staff and only really interacted with the children in her last few months there. She's got lots of friends now but doesn't interact with them much outside of school. She adores them, though.

Sensory issues with clothes. This has actually got worse as she's got older but I know it's not as bad as it could be. Like she hates socks but will wear them if she has to, and I just make sure she has the ones she likes. Nowadays she's mostly fussy about clothes in a fashion sense!

That was how it was with my adopted DD1 (now 17). There were issues before this, but it was easy to attribute them to her having been adopted and the arrival of DD2 (now 14), who was her biological sister.

But it became obvious that there was something more profound going on at age 6, when she started to refuse to do a poo in the toilet and I was regularly having to help her clean up. (She suffered from constipation, which didn’t help.) It was also at this age when she started to have violent meltdowns.

However, we had to wait until a couple of weeks ago to finally get a diagnosis of autism, after a lot of pushing for her to have an ND assessment.