AIBU to suspect my boyfriend may have a secret son?

[Cathy455]

Guys I could do with gal help I know I’m being crazy. It’s just me bein paranoid I know this. But there was this one time I asked my boyfriend had he ever slept with this girl that he used to know in his teenage years because I would often speak to her around my hometown. When I asked him this he got soo defensive and never answered me straight away etc, then eventually said no I’ve never been with her but I had to ask about 5 times. But basically he told me the other day him and his ex wife had a break for like a year about 20 years ago and that’s the age of this persons son. I also think the son and my boyfriend look weirdly alike as I have her on Facebook, Same dark features and same eyes and smile Am I crazy for thinking this. When I asked him about if he had been with her before he got very defensive but he told me they know each other from teenage years and his brother slept with her. I haven’t brought this up to him obviously as it would sound crazy 🤣

OMG so you keep badgering your BF to get him to admit to sleeping with someone years ago just because you think her son looks like him? You do sound crazy and he probably won't be your boyfriend for much longer if you carry on!

Of course it sounds crazy... you sound crazy.
Why would you randomly ask him if he slept with someone just because you knew her? Do you ask him has he slept with every mutual acquaintance? Maybe he's defensive because you're repeatedly asking him the same question?

ETA: Your boyfriend must be in his 40s / 50s if you think this 20year old could be his? But you sound like a 15 year old girl...

Perhaps his brother is the father, if you want to hand out random responsibility.

His brother slept with her?! Random. I think that’s odd enough a comment I reckon you might be right.

You are right, it absolutely does sound crazy. But stranger things have happened I suppose.

Sounds batshit crazy.

It's mental and he needs to run!

Why is it any of your business who he slept with before you were with him?
you sound very controlling . He should dump you

I'd be fairly unimpressed if my partner asked me 5 times if I'd slept with someone 20 years ago and seemed to believe there was a secret child.
Also if his brother has previously been slept with her there might be a more logical explanation.

Is that sarcastic? Or you being serious? Yeah he told me his brother was with her maybe he’s tryin to divert the attention off him

I was reading that thinking you were a teen, maybe an immature early twenties. Then saw you were talking about 20 years ago… what age are you? Because this isn’t how a mature, grown woman speaks or behaves.

I’m 33 x

I’m 36, my boyfriend is 45. Been together a couple of years. It has never occurred to me to ask which of his female friends he might have had sex with. And he has never enquired about who I’ve had sex with and if I’m still in touch with any of them. Why would it? By the time you’re this age, you have a past. Who bloody cares? What sort of weirdo starts quizzing their fully adult boyfriend on who he has sex with as a teenager.

You are very very odd, controlling, not ready to be a girlfriend to someone. Go get some therapy.

Time to grow up then. Get therapy. You are behaving like a very unwell person.

Only because I don’t want him to have a secret child I don’t know about

If his brother slept with her surely it would make more sense for him to be the secret baby daddy? That would also explain the son looking like your partner, family genes.

If you actually think that is a possibility then the relationship is dead. You don’t trust him. And you’re behaving like a maniac. It’s over. Walk away.

If you have to badger him into telling you he's the father (he may very well bit be), is he worth having?

I’ve ended up living back in the town I went to school in, and live here with my DH of nearly 25 years. It has never occurred to him to ask me if I have slept with any of the people we see around the town!

You are behaving beyond weirdly here. I think you need to get out more and do something more productive with your time!

Yeah true but I wonder is he telling the truth when he says it was his brother?

This is the sort of shit my brother lies about, he has3 kids, but pretends he only has 2 to everyone he knows. So is it possible? Yes. Is it likely? No. Frankly if you think he's capable of lying to you about having a child, why are you with him?

So are you hunting down every person he's ever slept with and asking them to have DNA tests on their kids?

Do you understand how looney this all sounds.

Your partner needs to run as fast as possible.

So basically you don't trust him.

Either
A) it was his brother but you'll never believe that and he'll eventually get fed up with you asking and the relationship is over
B) it was actually him and when you find out the truth it'll be a "gotcha" and the relationship is over
C) the kid isn't related to him in any way but you'll never believe that and he'll eventually get fed up with you asking and the relationship is over

He told me right enough he never slept with her but he was defensive when I asked him about her

Stop asking you lunatic