Pretty Woman Moment

[JuliaRobHurts]

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.

If you go into posh shops looking truly unkempt and scruffy, it's really not surprising that they don't want to hand over expensive goods. You could run out with it.

If they're being rude because you look young or just because you're not glam or wearing designer togs, that's stupid of them.

But if you actively look like you've slept on the streets, you can't really be surprised at not getting respect. Putting a little effort into your appearance garners some respect because we all know it takes effort.

In Pretty Woman, she was literally shopping in the gear she wore after dark to pick up johns. She did look dreadful in that get-up. Should have got the concierge to run out and get her some Levi's and a white T-shirt instead of shopping in Rodeo Drive in her pick-up gear! 🤣

I mean, if you look like a middle-aged hobo, you're not going to get much respect. You could quite easily have fake ID and nick the test-drive car if you look dodgy. Not infrequently, people who look dodgy ARE dodgy.

If you want some respect, look neat and clean.

Was it actually true, though? How DOES someone in their early thirties without a conservative City finance/law job, that pays loads early on, pay 70k cash for a car? I'm not sure I blame him tbh, and I'm doubting you too! 🤣 But he was rude and silly. It wouldn't have taken long to establish what you wanted. I would have been rolling my eyes inwardly but I wouldn't have been outwardly rude or kept you waiting. I also probably wouldn't have believed what you said, if you're that young and have pink hair.

(I'm going to assume you're not in a career like merchant banking or City law, due to the pink hair.)

70k cash is a HUGE amount to pay cash for a car at that age. How do you have that much money???

Edit: Sorry, I just read that it was due to an inheritance. I'm sorry for your loss. 😢

MFI made for idiots!!

Im old enough

I remember MFI! Ah, those were the days!

What I'm finding surprising here is the stereotypes about clothing. I thought the days of smart expensive clothes being indicators of wealth were long gone.

No, I don't think so. I do think there's more awareness that not all wealthy people swan around in expensive gear, but I think many people still take appearances at face value. And are impressed by obvious shows of wealth.

My sil and her husband are extremely wealthy and extremely unassuming and frugal.They don’t dress for fashion at all or buy expensive labels, think supermarket jeans and trainers. I’ve witnessed snobbery towards them both here and in the states and it has always made me chuckle at how stupid it makes others look but also more than a little
pissed re how much is put on appearance and how ridiculous it is.

Those wardrobes are still going strong decades later in quite a few homes I know.

They still look exactly the same and have aged surprisingly well.

My father had something similar happen years ago

My mother loves expensive jewellery and gets a piece every birthday/christmas/mothers day/there is a y in the day

As I explained with the motorbike,my father doesn't give a fuck about how he looks,he doesn't need to (im not bragging,im nc with him now and will never see a penny)

He rocked up to a posh jewellers wearing baggy,manky and knackered jeans,scruffy boots,a moth eaten jumper,a coat which has seen better days (the sleeve was hanging off) his signature hat (which is so worn,its more holes than hat) and one of those jute shopper bags thats held together with duct tape (my dd bought it for him with her pocket money when she was about 7and shes 29 now)

He also whiffs a bit of horse shit and soil

I admit if you saw him in the street,you'd think he was a homeless person

They shooed him out of the shop!literally shoved him back out of the door!

He was amused and wandered around to another posh jewellers,who couldn't do enough for him and he spent a few grand (cash) and has gone back so often over the years,they make him a cup of tea and have a chat while he explains what he wants (he knows all the staff by name)

The first jewellers loss as hes spent a fortune with the second shop and all the family followed suit and have boycotted the first shop (not me,i cant afford to and buy my jewellery from a lovely seller of vintage jewellery on Ebay)

When me and DH got our first house we went to MFI as we wanted a small glass shelf. We were ignored for ages and then treated with such contempt that we left with nothing.
Got the shelf on a trip to IKEA....hmm wonder why MFI didnt last.

Don't you think someone who intended to nick a car from a showroom (pretty silly in the days of trackers of various kinds) would know this and present themselves as a bona fide purchaser?

Again I say, while I would not go shopping dirty or in rags, I am the customer and I expect to enjoy my shopping. If a shop wants my money then either they behave decently towards me or I will go elsewhere. I don't expect to be fawned over, just to be treated politely. I don't expect to have to fight for attention or prove my worth.

BTW amazed at the MFI stories. I don't remember MFI ever being posh enough for the staff to behave with attitude, even when it first launched.

There used to be a lovely jewellers in a local small town near me. I wasn't minted at the time, but did buy a few special gifts in there. The man who ran it was lovely. He loved what he sold and nothing was ever too much trouble for anybody. I got the impression that he understood that people who didn't routinely spend a lot on non essentials wanted to feel special and enjoy a special occasion. Its a sensible business decision because there are more "ordinary" people than millionaires around.

I think it is deeply disrespectful to walk into a nice shop if you are actually smelly and dirty. That's quite different from just being in cheap clothes etc

He whiffs a bit

Only if you climb on top of him and sniff hard

I dont think they got that close to him as they shooed him out

They judged him on his appearance as soon as he stepped into their shop and that is the problem

They didnt get close enough to smell him

The same shop that didnt want his custom are always pleading for everyone to 'shop local' as they say they are always on the verge of closing

The small shop that treat him well are doing a roaring trade and flog gorgeous bits and bobs-my mother had done very well from that shop,most of what she owns is from there

Honestly if I worked in an expensive shop I’d know as soon as he walked in that he was probably loaded 😂 It seemed like half the school mums drove old bangers and had filthy clothes and would say “We’re take us as you find us around here” when you went over after school. Then at Speech Night it was another story altogether!

I had this thought too. Maybe the sales person was new, inexperienced, felt uncomfortable about the price herself, and/or had bad reactions in the past. Many sales people (of luxury or expensive goods) are low paid and couldn't dream of affording the products they are selling.

But also, it could just be she was snobbish and assumed you couldn't afford it!

You'll never know - and yes, better training for her should have tackled both possibilities.

I posted further up about a similar thing, as I'm a high end jeweller and one of our best customers was refused service at another jeweller due to how they were dressed. I never judge, I hardly ever dress up and am usually in a hoody and jeans. However in the CCTV images we get sent of criminals visiting jewellers they usually dress like wealthy customers in order to enter the store and commit the crime. The latest prolific thief in our area looks like a lovely middle class woman, she'd definitely gain entry to any shop.

There are a number of tales on here about very wealthy people who look unkempt or like they can only afford supermarket clothes etc. I do understand not spending money for the sake of it and not being flashy, and not always having to be dressed expensively. If I was very wealthy, I think I'd be the same. I really think I'd continue with my Marks jeans and Boden tops. But at the other end of the scale, I also don't understand being frugal and unkempt to the extent described here, if you are very wealthy. What on earth is the point of having money if you don't enjoy it a little? I do understand not enjoying it a LOT, but I don't understand the other extreme, either. It sounds like a really miserable way to live, for no reason.

but they ARE happy like it.

I mean I spend a lot of my disposable income on horses, which makes me very happy. It also means I look like a bag lady a lot of the time and I could not care less . I can think of nothing more boring than sitting for hours having nails / beauty treatments done weekly etc.
If Im not with the horses, dogs, grandkids Im in the garden or at a gig. Very little use for anything other than jeans/ jods/ joggers in my world.

I don’t think being wealthy makes you suddenly incapable of enjoying a ‘scrape your hair back’ and wear your comfiest and oldest joggers kind of day.

Many garments become their most comfortable when washed a hundred times.

I call stealth boast! “ just buy a door already, you don’t need to go to show then tell us about how you can afford stuff lol and if the “sales” person doesn’t rate their stock then neither should you 🤷🏽‍♀️

I can't imagine being happy going round looking so awful!

I also suspect that this thing where you're wealthy but look like a hobo is a bit of an affectation. Like reverse snobbery, but reverse pretentiousness. I bet all those rich hobo types take off their disguise when going on a date or suchlike.