Pretty Woman Moment

[JuliaRobHurts]

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.

I've said this in another thread. My user name explains it. Dh got me a ring for my birthday and TWO of my wealthy friends asked that question.

We are considerably less well off than these people but yes, the Amethyst is real. Tiny, but real.
One of these friends, I admired her trainers and she said "they would suit you, but they were really expensive"

I've googled and they are £120. Of course I wouldn't drop that on a pair of trainers (couldn't justify it or afford it really) but it was an unnecessary comment in my opinion. I suppose she just desn't think before she speaks.

I think the important thing here is to focus on what you want, not how the salesperson thinks or behaves. You want to buy the item and they are simply one of the cogs in that wheel.

If the salesperson isn't interested in engaging initially, that's not their problem - it's yiur problem and you need to solve it.

Double down and state clearly and politely that you would like their help as you wish to discuss purchasing their door/car/house.

When you have bought the item thank them, wish them a nice day, and never give them a second thought.

Great thread, thanks. I took a couple of pairs of size large knickers to the counter in a lingerie store. I was a size 12/14 (UK) at the time, so normally took a size medium, but these looked rather smaller than usual. The saleswoman looked me up and down with a sneer on her face and said, "You know, we do stock these in size EXTRA large!" I was so taken aback I just meekly paid for the purchase, instead of throwing them at her and asking, Did you mean to be so rude? 😁

I’m not going to fight someone to throw my money at them 🤷‍♀️

I was buying prescription glasses and the sales assistant showed me a range of options for lenses. I asked her what the difference was between two of the options. All she said was “I would choose that one,” pointing at one.

It’s not the only optician in town. I can’t force them to engage with me. Of course I’m just going to go elsewhere.

I disagree. If I am spending money I want to enjoy spending it. I don't expect to be fawned over but I want to be treated pleasantly and not have to struggle to get the person selling to me to engage in the process. I don't want and shouldn't have to put up with, being judged, looked down on or ignored.

Ok, and that's one option. Another option is to stay on task and persuade her to give you the information about the glasses, despite her initial misjudgement.

She clearly can’t afford a 3.5k door😂
security doors can go wel up to £20k
she’s in the wrong job

It should not have to be a task.....I should not have to persuade.

I had similar in a Land Rover showroom.

I had literally made no effort that morning and was in jeans and a hoodie and my hair was a mess, I hardly ever wear make up anyway and we are mid to late 40s. Possibly also carrying more weight than I would like too at the moment. So in fairness I probably did look like I could have been dragged out of a bush backward!

We were genuinely looking at options for DH new car, stepson was in the back so we could check legroom for him of a model DH liked and then he pointed to something on the dash…. Sales person, as I am looking in the window of the car to see what DSS was saying, comes up and says ‘I’m sorry can I ask you step back, the paintwork scratches easily’. The window was open I hadn’t got that close to the car as could see what DSS was saying without having to.

I work with clients from all types of backgrounds and know only too well that you should NEVER judge a book by its cover.

Think we are buying another Audi! 😂

Big Mistake … Huge 😀

I appreciate that you’re giving me helpful answers so I don’t want to sound like I’m determined to be right - but please take my word for it that in this case it really was utterly hopeless! I’ve forgotten the details by now but she really didn’t have a clue.

I’d been going to this branch of a optician chain for years and they were under new ownership. It was hopeless. Thankfully there was a different chain just a few doors down so off I went.

You are quite right that a lot of the time you can get people back on track with a few good questions or by being clearer about what you want. Unfortunately this one was a non-starter!

That’s bizarre - as if you’re going to want to buy a car that could be scratched by someone looking in the window 🤣 He should have just said, shoo, peasants!

I also think there is a difference between someone who could be got to do a good job with a little coaching and someone who is rude and judgemental

I’ve not really given the full story here (it’s too boring really)… I am forrin and some people decide I must be really thick because I speak with a foreign accent and sometimes phrase things a bit oddly. In this case I think the woman really was unable to answer my question, but I do sometimes get brushed off because people assume I’m stupid. “Middle-aged immigrant woman, waste of time dealing with her!”

I’m very surprised to read this about Harrods as their training very specifically says not to make assumptions on customer worth. Maybe it’s changed but they would give examples of very wealthy account holders and how they don’t all wear bling / even shower daily / brush hair etc. Cartier had some corkers of stories.

Literally might as well have done. 🙄

Back to our regular contact at Audi we went, he’s absolutely brilliant though so I have a feeling we will carry on there for many years to come! He deserves the commission, bless him!

My Dad had the opposite experience - he went into Mercedes to buy a car and they were so unhelpful and snotty (he was wearing jeans and t-shirt) that he went next door into BMW and bought a car there instead. He has bought BMWs ever since, for the last 40 years.

Glad to hear things may have changed in Harrods!

There are too many Nobels for people to care, I think! In academia they are a dime a dozen.

So: racism. In fact. Not classism.

I used to shop there years ago (mid 80's) and always found them very friendly and delighted to take my money. I mean I never spent thousands in there but they had a fair chunk of my money.

deffo on the rude and judgemental side then

DH went into the local land rover showroom dressed in his usual jeans and tee shirt. He was treated with complete disinterest. He walked out drove Forty miles to the next nearest showroom, was treated with courtesy, got a better price and ordered two.

The sweet revenge was the local dealer had to do all the services for them. 😁

This has happened to me twice in my 20s and 30s when I was renovating. Not sure if it was because of my skin colour and because I was wearing denim. Once at a kitchen showroom and once at a blinds place both in Essex. I was so angry but my husband told me to let it go.

Not quite on topic but I had similar assumptions with a van and a random bloke who'd come round for some social drinks I'd put on for a birthday (he had tagged along with a mutual friend). Someone had mentioned that my van had an issue at the time and RB said he knew a lot about vehicles and would happily have a look at it the following day but 'I'd need you here mate' to my then DP. I asked why and he said he'd just be more comfortable with DP being there while fixing 'our' van and if it needed to be driven anywhere. I promptly told him that that was MY van, and that DP didn't as much as hold a driving licence at the time.