Pretty Woman Moment

[JuliaRobHurts]

DH and I were at a homebuilding and renovation show yesterday as we're in the middle of an extension project. Specifically we 're on the hunt for a new front door and while looking around one of the vendors we had a "pretty women" moment.

We had a look at the various products on show before trying to get the attention of one of the representatives who appeared to be avoiding our gaze. Eventually she approached and I said 'hi, we're interested in bespoke front doors and quite like this one on show'.

Without asking our budget or any of our requirements she went into a spiel about how the doors were very expensive, how they were imported from Lithuania and the import charge was also expensive, all the while wincing as she was saying it. She then said we might be better off with a more mass manufactured door. I was absolutely stunned at her condescending tone. She hadn't asked a single question about what we were looking for.

I was so close to confronting her about her approach, but held back. DH calmly told her her sales pitch needs some work and we walked away, but I was fuming. We were both dressed smart/casually so the only thing I can think is she guaged our age (late thirties) and made an assumption we couldn't afford it (even though we can).

WWYD in that situation? I'm half inclined to email the company and provide feedback on our experience but I also don't know if it's worth the energy.

Would love to hear if anyone that's had a similar experience but DID confront the rude person as I'm still annoyed I didn't give her a piece of my mind.

You are aware that many businesses nowadays are fronts for criminal activity? They don’t actually want customers for their legitimate business. They have a showroom but they import the bespoke goods, that doesn’t make sense. You dodged a bullet.

Oh yes that will be part of it l'd say, we are Irish and l think it's presumed she is from the local travelling community, who are basically blamed for everything around here. Either that or passes for Eastern European, who, ditto, preconceptions are made about them.

I'm a chemistry PhD that's why I did!

Years ago I went to mothercare to buy (then) small toddler dd a new buggy

I had cash in my bag and wanted a bugaboo with all the trimmings

45 minutes I stood there trying to get the attention of anyone who worked there-every single person walked past me,making it clear I wasn't someone to bother with (I admit I didnt look the smartest as it was pissing down outside and I was soaked)

Gave up and went to toys r us over the road and bought a slivercross with all the trimmings (drink holder/foot muff/raincover/parasol etc)

Still pissed off as I had my heart set on that bugaboo buggy and she was my last chance at having one (no more babies for me!)

They went bust a year or so later

This thread makes me so upset and frustrated that people are still so judgemental and superficial. I have had a lot of different jobs and I don’t think I probably fit in any box people might want to place me in. I doubt many of us are so straightforward that we could be judged at a glance.
I had one of these moments when I went to buy a car and was asking about its performance when a salesman literally laughed and said it was a nice colour! I obviously bought a car elsewhere from someone who understood that women could be knowledgeable about cars and didn’t patronise me.
One of my sons was also treated really badly when he was about 13 and was looking around a local shop that sells antiques and vintage clothing. He was wearing a pretty tacky tracksuit and the sales lady followed him around the shop. It was so sad as he had saved his money and had always loved going there. Their loss as he now earns more than I do and none of our family will ever buy from them again.
My dad always used to say that you never know how much money people have. Whilst that’s obviously true, surely sales people should be polite and respectful anyway. I’m sure a lot of customers are annoying and waste time but dealing with them is literally their job.

It was the home building and renovation show:

”The UK's go-to show for anyone creating their dream home!”

Not a trade show.

"The Homebuilding & Renovating Show, is the event for anyone who has a home project - big or small. Brought to you by leading Homebuilding & Renovating experts, the show can provide you with free expert advice, inspiring sessions and access to 100's of brands all under one roof. What are you waiting for?"

As someone who works in the construction industry the only time we would be looking at something like a bespoke door would be for an individual domestic client. This is not the type of product that is bought in bulk for housebuilding. The clue is in the name, bespoke.

I recently went into Boots straight from my allotment in dirty torn clothes and a cap. I was looking at the fancy skincare and a sales assistant assertively asked if I needed any help- it was clear she’d marched on over assuming (understandably) I was a shoplifter. I was very impressed with how quickly she pivoted when I explained I was after a retinol serum, she could not have been more helpful- clearly I only look dodgy from a distance…

Its interesting about the car dealers. Shortly after my husband died, I went to buy a new car. We had been discussing it but he never got to go with me. I wasn't my usual sharp self but I needed to change the car. Sis and i went out on a sunday morning to just do an initial look around at the local Toyota dealer. There was only one staff member there and honestly he could not have been nicer. He offered to look over my car to give me a trade in price (and it was a fair price, I checked) and generally sorted out whatever I needed including a test drive, visits to measure up for a dog cage, nothing was too much trouble. I bought a new car there for cash. It was the same when i went back for services and repairs and I'd still be going back there if they hadn't stopped their service pick up and return service. The place is a swine to get to and the parking is dreadful. Seller behaviour DOES matter.

I once went to test drive a convertible car and the car salesman told me it wasn’t really suitable as you couldn’t get a buggy or much shopping in the boot. I told him my kids were grown and a man delivers my shopping and walked out. I contacted the manufacturer, who arranged for me to see a much more sensible sales person elsewhere and I bought the car. Which I loved.

Absolutely email them and complain. That kind of bias is ridiculous.

DM had that experience in a BMW garage - DF had died young, leaving her a fairly wealthy widow. She dresses neatly but not flashily, and had two young kids with her (us). She needed a new family car to replace DF’s company car (which had obviously gone back), and was in her small runaround which was probably a Micra or Fiesta or something.

The BMW salesman told her “he only deals with organ-grinders not monkeys, and to come back with her husband”, and refused to serve her.

She went across town to Audi and bought an A8, and has been a loyal Audi customer for thirty-odd years - always buys new, always gets her services and MOTs there, they must have made a fortune out of her over the years.

The BMW garage shut down.

The BMW salesman told her “he only deals with organ-grinders not monkeys, and to come back with her husband”, and refused to serve her.

Omg that's shocking! Hope she complained!

From someone with experience in sales specifically in the door industry. This reaction was probably less about you and more about the product and industry itself I wouldn't take it personally, it's likely she'd been wasting time with people all day who didn't have the budget and some suppliers don't ship just one door they only deal with developers and such. It's likely she paid poorly or on commission only she may only be brought in for the few days the show is on, don't cause unnecessary upset and stress. If your actually interested email the company directly with your requirements so they can deal with you properly rather than in the middle of a busy trade show, I'm sure they'll be able to offer something suitable once they have all the info.

A firend of mine (very horsey) was always dressed in messy clothes, muddy boots and a grotty old Barbour jacket which had lost practically all its wax! She had an outdoor job, so never really got dressed up during the day.

She went to the local market town after work to a posh jewellers in order to buy her parents an anniversary present, and planned to spend about £1,000 - but as soon as she walked in the assistant fetched a big brush and literally swept the floor in front of her, edging her back out of the door. Needless to say, she didn't spend her money in there!!

I think that's a terrible story, she didn't show any respect to the shop by going in there all muddy.

I asked to try two pairs of walking shoes in my local Trespass shop. Lady went off to bring the other part of the pairs. In the meantime I'd seen another pair I wanted to try which turned out to be the same as the original but a different colour. She said but it's the same shoe. I said but I might buy both pairs. She suddenly woke up and was all animated then sent someone else to get the other. I decided to buy both pairs. I told her that how she had been wasn't very good, clearly she didn't want to go up and down the stairs but that no one should buy a pair of shoes without trying them on, her colleague joined in at this point and agreed and I pointed out that the same item of clothing in black can fit differently to one of a different colour so I assume the same can be for footwear. Even though they couldn't take the voucher I had, I still bought both pairs as I knew I wanted them and I was only down £20 ish on an over £100 sale.

I was nine months pregnant organised a test drive for a Toyota 4x 4 rAv 4 3 door. The escort nearly had a fit when I got behind the wheel, drove the very narrow country lanes with pull ins up to our house. And yes I did have to reverse twice. Then I measured up for a bale of straw, yes it was big enough. Fair dos after driving with me fast braking and acceleration. Around the area he was happy for a cash sale. So Toyota were very good.

I worked in finance and we were all well aware that sometimes, the least likely looking person was the wealthiest. Multi millionaire landlords arriving by cycle for example.
None of us ever judged by looks.

Same with Land Rover etc, surely most of their clients are very wealthy, farming or horsey types? It would be career suicide to expect clients to be only dressed like aristocracy.

Bil is a doctor and a call went out on a plane for one. He was a junior doctor at the time qualified but quite boyish and young looking when he stepped up the air hostesses were having none of it!

Bloody awful behaviour isn’t it? I think this will be us forever more now too, for the last 10 years we’ve had a direct contact at Audi as we are the same, all our cars, servicing, MOTs, the lot (had literally picked up my new car the week before this happened). I think this experience cemented our loyalty!

Glad your DM found them great too. I will never understand the mentality when it comes to sales, some of the richest people I work with dress like they have nothing. It is literally never possible to judge!

It's a sales tactic. They rely on you getting angry and wanting to "prove you can afford it" by making a big purchase. It's worrying how often it works.

Ha, I had that happen on a United flight to Washington, and they wouldn’t let me help because I wasn’t American! They said they’d rather have a US nurse (who had also stepped up) than a British physician “because they didn’t know if British doctors were properly trained or not”. Cheeky fuckers.

Fine with me as the patient appeared to just be drunk and vomiting anyway.

You have some very rude friends!

It's not only the high end places either. I recall 20 odd years ago now, the frozen food emporium 'COOK' in Barnes village had a notoriously snooty young woman working in there who was rude to legions of very wealthy local customers who would enquire about various things!

Negative selling isn't a tactic. Its actively discouraged.