AIBU to expect husband to do bulk of weekday childcare when he’s unemployed?

[eatentoomanygrapes]

Husband made redundant. We have just moved house and only have childcare for one of our kids for 3 days a week until he starts school in September; the other (18 months) doesn’t start nursery til sept due to long waiting lists.

husband doesn’t want to get a job - he has a bit of money behind him from the sale of his late dads house. he wants to “explore a few ideas” he has to set up a business.

I took a week off while we moved house. Tomorrow I go back to work but husband fully expects me to do 50% of the childcare (I WFH but no broadband at home yet).

AIBU to suggest this is massively selfish on his part?

Last night we had a huge argument as he lay on the sofa watching tv - I asked why he has to insist on doing his “work stuff” during the week when I’m working, why he can’t try and do that in the evenings or when baby naps.

He seems to think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect me to screw up my own job so he can sit in the garden phoning people and tinkering away on his laptop. I’m not convinced he has any kind of plan.

if he was applying for jobs it would be slightly different and I’d be more supportive, but I’d also expect him to respect my job.

Many years ago, I remember one of the primary school mums telling me how her H was working full-time and also trying to set up his own business at the same time. It was all pie-in-the-sky stuff that never materialised and got the family into all sorts of debt (second mortgage on the house etc). He then suddenly dropped dead from a heart attack, leaving her with all the mess to sort out. Why are so many men like this? What on earth are they trying to prove?

At the very least, if he isn’t doing the childcare, he can take over organising it and paying for it in order to support his budding entrepreneur skills.

he will burn through that money. You need to go to work and get plan b for you and the kids.

I can’t stand men like this.

He's not doing childcare. Until he gets a job he's a stay at home parent- so he parents the dc and takes care of the house, making sure that the working parent has the capacity to concentrate on paying the bills and keeping a roof over your heads. If he wants to play business owner, then it needs to fit around reality.

Why does he not want to care for his baby/children?