AIBU for calling the police but not opening the door at 3am?

[Cantrememberoldusername]

Important information-

i am a single parent to 3 children with special needs and a teenage girl ( she’s more work that the others at the moment)

at 3am today I was woken up by a woman screaming for help and banging on my door asking me to let her in. There was a man with her, I could hear him telling her to calm down. She was screaming and banging then ran off down the street, the man followed her.

i didn’t open the door I called the police.

my friends are split on whether I did the right thing or if I should have let her in.

You did the right thing. I wouldn’t have opened the door either.

YANBU

You've got to consoder your own safety and that of yoyr children. She didnt have to run off, if she was in danger she could have stayed at your door until the police arrived with you as witness, you've already rang the police.

I’d have done exactly the same. No way I’d have opened the door especially with children in the house.

Why do some of your friends think you should let some random woman with a man into your house?

You 100% did the right thing and I would have done the same.

I'm a single woman and wouldn't have let them in, more trouble than it's worth unless you could reasonably fight off the man should it turn ugly.
Phoning the police was the right thing, getting her help when she needs it plus alerting them if it's repeated behaviour.
Also late on a Friday night they could both just be very pissed!

Even if you were by yourself (without children), you did the right thing by phoning police and not opening the door. You have no idea what had just happened.

We had the same scenario once but it was a man being chased by other men, he had some kind of injury on his head.

i felt a bit frozen but my Mum (whose house we were in at the time) didn't hesitate to get him inside and lock the door. I think he saw the light on and had made a beeline for our house.

The poor guy was genuine and really shook up and sat on our sofa with a cup of tea while we waited for the police and medical care to arrive. The guys outside left quickly.

We had young kids asleep upstairs and we were only women in the house. I'm not sure if I'd have done the same but my Mum was ballsy in the moment and I was grateful she had. We made a huge difference to the man who called.

It is so hard to know what to do.

Well no don't let her in because the man might've burst in too and then they're fighting in your house.

They could've both done something distressing in front of or to you or your kids.

Calling the police was the right thing to do.

You did the right thing

100% right thing: there was a case in Liverpool Olivia korbel where the mum opened the door when there was shouting in the street, one man ran in her house and someone shot at him and hit Olivia instead and killed her 💔. You never know what is happening and who’s got weapons etc

You 100% did the right thing.
You have no way of knowing if they were armed.

A friend of mine let a distressed woman in. She asked for a glass of water. When he came back from the kitchen he found she had let her boyfriend in. They then beat him up and robbed him.

Calling the police was all you could safely do

I wouldn’t have opened the door in those circumstances either.

Yanbu.

This happened to me.
I was a single woman living alone.
It was 3/4am.

The woman was screaming hysterically and she said she was being chased and they had knives.

It was terrifying. She was utterly terrified and hysterical. i had no clue what to do it was tempted to let her in but we didnt have video phones and I couldn't see the entrance from my windows so no clue what the reality of the situation was.

I saw a 2 men who looked like a police officers approach my house (it was night time and very dark)
Hard to explain but we had a walkway/drawbridge type thing (the basement flat was sunk into the ground) they came over it and i couldnt see anything but they emerged from the porch to take her away she was screaming for help the whole time.
I called out the window and they said they were officers.

The next morning the main door of our house had a bloodied hand prints on it and a large knife had been posted through our letterbox!!!!

My mother criticised me for not confirming they were police and said I probably witnessed a kidnapping....
I phoned the police and they confirmed an incident.

Presumably it was mental health related. And the knife and blood were both hers 😱

You absolutely did the right thing. Your children's safety is paramount. Did the police respond rapidly?

Why would anyone let some random in their house at 3am?

Happened to me. It was a man being chased by a gang with baseball bats and knives. They killed him in my porch. But how could I have opened the door, particularly as I really didn't understand what was happening - just that it was scary?

You did the right thing - apart from ensuring the safety of your children this is a known scam to gain entry to houses which are then robbed.

Calling the police while keeping your family safe was absolutely the right thing to do.

Yes, that's the very first thing I thought of too 😔

Why is it important that you have three children with special needs? I can’t see the relevance here at all.

@IpDipDipMyBlueShip very strange detail to make a fuss about, but since you asked….
When you’re on your own, considering taking a risk that will only affect you, it’s much easier to decide what to do. No one else to think about.
When there are other people involved, it’s more complicated.
If those people are children, they might be old enough to understand what’s happening, and maybe even help.
If they’re young, or have SEN (depending what those SEN are), they may be more vulnerable, and less able to manage any ensuing difficulties.

I think OP was basically setting the scene to demonstrate how vulnerable she was at that moment.

Holy crap!

I think what you did was fine OP. It's not wrong to put your own safety, and that of your children, before the needs of strangers. Who you helped by calling the police.

Not a chance I'm opening the door unless it's someone I know. Would be concerned it was that scam where you end up robbed once the door is open. I think you did the right thing.

You did the right thing. I was once woken by a fight between a woman & a man that was happening outside my house. I went to see if she needed help and she didn’t. He was her boyfriend, they were both drunk and they both turned on me.
i had rung the police as well but they never appeared.