To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

Yeah I thought maybe for some women it was cos they were scared of getting too bulky. I hope that’s not the reason cos it’d be such a waste of time! I actually wish I could be a little bulky but no amount of lifting is ever going to make me bulky unless I start on the roids!

Ok slightly off topic but HOW are you all deadlifting 80+ kg…my fingers want to fall off at 45kg!!! Seriously the pain in my hands is what’s holding me back from trying to up the weights!

I love running and all I see on social media is people mocking women like me who aren't on 12 week training plans to run a marathon immediately, but are actually just enjoying ourselves and appreciating our bodies a bit in our middle age. Mocking women who have just started running for wearing a running vest because they're not running far enough to justify it. Mocking women for every form of exercise they do because they're not doing it right and to expert level. Sometimes it's literally just about moving your body in any way you can or any way you want but there's always some Eeyore waiting to side-eye you.

So it's a process. Can you maybe let them work through that process in peace?

Awww bless OP are you just so teeny tiny

I mean if you’re doing 12 reps yourself you aren’t lifting heavy enough imo. You should be struggling on your 8th one and once you can complete that then you should be upping the weight. Presumably there’s a reason you don’t go higher? Same probably applies to those women too.

I don’t bother myself with watching other people at the gym though because most of them don’t do what I’d do so I keep myself to myself.

Use straps if you’re struggling with grip

At the strength classes I go to, the instructors would tell me if they thought I should be using heavier weights.

This class is not for women who’ve just started weight-lifting though. It’s for experienced people who are aiming to increase their personal bests (therefore working up to lifting heavier and heavier). That is why I don’t understand why they are not pushing themselves if they chose to go to a class where the whole point is to push themselves. I don’t get why people are not understanding this and keep comparing it to stuff it is nothing like at all or talking as if I’m evil-eying a poor, anxious first-timer whose finally built up the courage to enter the weights section, only be be side-eyed by me, kissing my ‘bicep’ in the mirror, cos I think I’m the dogs bollocks 🤣. That is not anywhere close to the situation I’ve described. Anyway you ain’t getting it don’t seem. And I’m bored of trying to explain it. I guess this one will remain a mystery..

I go to a HIIT class twice a week OP. It’s got one of those catchy names that suggest energy and movement and fitness. I am a size 22 and have been going for a year and not lost any weight. Would you tell me I’m not doing enough?

Lol you think I’m bragging that I’m skinny or something? 🤣 regardless of the fact you have no idea what my body type is (apart from not bulky) do you really think I’d be going to a heavy weight-lifting class on the regular if I wanted to/was happy being “teeny tiny” or skinny? Obviously not 🙄

Clearly it's not and if it is a class why isn't the instrutir leading

I personally think anyone going to the gym needs to use the gym properly.

And if you use the gym properly you concentrate on what you are doing and don't give a shit what other people are doing.

That's my take anyway.

No, I’d tell you that you can’t out-exercise a bad diet

Instructor can lead and still let people choose their own weights. They’re not beginners, why would he be choosing their weights for them?

@Ilostallthepens "It’s for experienced people who are aiming to increase their personal bests (therefore working up to lifting heavier and heavier"

maybe that IS them working harder and lifting heavier and heavier - they need to use a weight that's challenging for them. That could be completely different to a weight that's challenging for you.

You don't know what weight they started lifting when they began

I'm sure you would think I don't lift heavy enough

We're not all built the same way

Funny you mentioned CrossFit because I tried that andp it was too much for me. Again because I don't want to push 110% every session. We're all different.

Because most women want tone not bulk!
I don't think 8kg is much for bicep curls btw, i use a lot more. I have a job which requires me to be strong though.

You’d tell me that, would you?!

And you say you don’t judge.

You’ve assumed I want to lose weight, and that my motivation for the gym is body image. It’s not.

You’d also not be aware of my treatment plan for an eating disorder.

You’ve just proven to everyone on this thread that it’s not about curiosity, it’s about superiority. So no more good faith engagement for me.

Edited to say I still can’t believe you’d be so catty

If you’re watching other people you’re not working hard enough. As can be seen from the thread, many people mistakenly think that heavy weights will make them big or manly. But who cares, you’re not going to the class for them, focus on yourself.

I don't know why I can't lift heavier. I want to- especially when women 20 years older than me can. Been going to the gym for 20 years. Weight classes for about 8. A lot depends on what the class asks of me. Sometimes I can do a 5, sometimes it'll have to be a 3.

Annoyingly, it's not the muscles. It can be my wrists, or my hands. It can be my iffy ankle or my knee twinging. It can be my prolapse threatening an appearance. It can be that I can't bear the feel of the the bar across my shoulders and just want to tear it off. Sometimes I'm just so drained from work, i yawn all the way through and find my own head heavy.

And sometimes I don't know how hard an exercise will fit. So sometimes I wish I'd chosen heavier, but other times I choose too heavy and barely do any reps.

Have you tried pilates? I've got a lot of past injuries and find pilates ( through my physio) really good at building up all the little muscles that help.

Did that for about 15 years, but the classes don't fit with my work/ family schedule anymore. And although it was good for my flexibility, the weight classes are definitely what's given me more strength and improved my running.

Youre ignoring the person’s history. I never did weights. Then I started on 0.5kg, upped it slowly and now I use 2kg dumbbells. I’m not moving up any more because I like how my body looks and feels. I’m not chasing gains, I’m looking for maintenance.

Though the old "women shouldn't do weights or they'll get bulky" has long been discredited, there are many modern trainers who say women can get good health results with reps, not necessarily lifting heavy. I'm not an expert, but the Body Pump/Body Pump Heavy debate is ongoing. But we can get good results without the risk of lifting heavy. Women, more than men, are likely to have injuries to worry about (a lot of women have post pregnancy issues), and there isn't the same social pressure on us to lift heavy.