To pretend I cooked the restaurant food- dinner party

[Dual]

I’m hosting a dinner party for 7 guests tonight. I’m a truly shit cook, and my guests amongst them have loads of dietary requirements - vegan, gluten free and nut free, and one guest only likes Chinese or Italian cuisine.

i have also had to work late every day this week. I decided last night instead that I’d order from a vegan Chinese restaraunt today that clearly lists all nut free and gluten free dishes.

im embarrassed to admit ive not cooked myself, so aibu to put them into my own dishes and pass them off as my own cooking tonight?

Just be honest FFS.

No, just tell them. You didn’t have time to cook because of work and you wanted to spend time with them and not be stuck in the kitchen. I am a foodie and I’d be super happy to eat a nice takeaway at a dinner party! It will also be reassuring to everyone with allergies and intolerances to know it was cooked in a professional kitchen.

I have to ask - why are you hosting a dinner party (esp with so many dietary requirements) if you can’t cook?

Also if there are allergies, can you guarantee that the bought food won’t include anything that might be an issue ?

There's no way you can pass off a Chinese takeaway as home-cooked. Even if your guests don't contest, they will go away and think you rather silly for attempting to lie.

Look on the bright side - if you insist you cooked it you'll probably never have to entertain them again.

What would you think, OP, if you discovered that one of these friends who is really into cooking had been lying about it and serving restaurant food whenever they had people round? I would feel sad that my friend had such low self-esteem they felt they had to buy inclusion in a group by pretending to be someone you’re not?

if they look down on you because you can’t Cooke, they’re not true friends, they’re snobs

If this was my friend, I would not care a tiny bit if she ordered Chinese food in! Life is busy, everyone gets it. The point of dinner together is to spend time with people you like, not to worry about whether or not the hostess cooked. If anything, they'll appreciate you giving yourself a break because it opens great conversations about how they could do the same for themselves.

thanks all,

what about if a compromise, I order the simple tofu dish and simple vegan chicken dish and just say I used a packet sauce mix to make the sauce? I can very easily make the base - it’s just ready made deep fried tofu and vegan chicken pieces from a shop, so it’s plausible?

the nut allergy suffer trusts restaraunt food - I’ve been out for dinner with him before. And I rang the restaurant to make sure they double check and they said they’re 100% confident the food will be nut free.

This is silly, OP! Just tell them you had a busy week so timing got away from you so you have ordered in. Nobody will think you are failing in any way and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. That’s just life and we have all been here. They are your friends and a dinner party isn’t about the food (as long as it isn’t actually horrible!) it’s about the company.

If they find out you ordered in and passed off the food as your own, THAT would be embarrassing. It will also put you on edge for the evening worrying about it and make you bad company. That makes for a bad dinner party, not take away.

Sauces taste nothing like authentic Chinese food from a restaurant.

I would honestly just tell them. Say you were busy and you love the restaurant and felt it catered to everyone.

My oldest DS has a nut allergy and to be frank, we don't touch Chinese or Indian at all. I know you have checked, but with allergies in particular you need to give all the unvarnished facts to the person with the allergy.

Just tell them the truth. It wouldn't bother me if I went to someone's house for a lovely dinner and it had been bought from a restaurant. I'd just be grateful for the nice dinner!
If you pretend you have cooked it what will you do if they ask for the recipe?

You are not incompetent - you have a job that affords you the option of buying dinner for your guests. Failing would be to not provide a tasty meal which meets their dietary requirements.

Don't lie - there is absolutely no need.

Just. Be. Honest.

No one will care.

ETA - I'd rather you got the proper dish from the restaurant and were honest about it than made a shit packet sauce and then lied about the while thing anyway.

I wouldn't think badly at all if I was a guest. I would find it all very thoughtful (and interesting if it was new to me). On the other hand, if it became obvious you had lied (which it could -- other people may know this restaurant!), I would struggle not to judge and might avoid you in future.

I would serve it up and then when someone compliments it I’d say yes I got it all from this wonderful restaurant…

There's no way people who are "super into cooking" won't know they're eating takeaway.

I'd tell them what you've said here. "You've all got complex requirements and I've got no time, so I've ordered takeaway from a good place I know."

If they're not people you can say that to, I don't know why you'd have them for dinner.

If you pass yourself as a great cook you will be expected to cook on more occasions, asked for recipes etc

just be honest and pass it off with humour, i doubt they will care they wil just be happy to eat nice food that has been prepared for them (you will be dishing it up)

Yes - they are going to know.

And I hate to bang on about the allergies- yes yes I know you have checked.... but your guest needs to be in full possession of the facts.

What's the obsession with justifying plain old dishonesty? OP, you really don't come out of this well.

I'd be astonished if you got away with this because even if they can't tell, which is unlikely, they'll want recipes.

I'd also be astonished if people thought you were lazy for not cooking. People usually either cook because they enjoy it, or because they have to. They also understand that a lot of things take time and/or skill to perfect. Such as Chinese banquets when you haven't grown up cooking them. So if you can afford to buy in nice food as an alternative to making it yourself, they won't judge you and might do the same them selves one day.

This is a perfect time for the MN tinkly laugh. When someone says the food is great, tinkly laugh 'well I didn't think it nice to subject you all to my terrible cooking so I ordered in from Shanghai Palace near the town hall'.

Tell the truth- the guests with allergies need to know. Some may prefer it if they aren’t sure you will know how to cook separately for allergies which is a different skill to cooking well. Others might not want to eat it.

Id suggest calling those with allergies and explain the situation and where you are planning on ordering from. If they know the place they may know what is a safe dish or that the restaurant has problems with allergies.

Don't choose what to order based on what you think you can pass off as home made, just order what you think people will enjoy and will go together as a nice meal with friends.

People who are 'super into cooking' will know and you've missed the chance to enjoy some of the more interesting dishes on the menu.

Honestly it's actually annoying how much you want to lie to your friends instead of just owning the decision.

Despite nearly all the responses here agreeing you should just tell them.

They're going to know it's a take away and they'll just talk behind your back which I'd say will be more embarrassing for you.

They'll want recipes or further details, like where did you find X specialist ingredient or what brand of vegan chicken is it. And you'll have to maintain the lie all evening, and also in the future if it's ever referred to. And if you get found out in the lie that's going to look much worse than not cooking (which people won't judge you for anyway).