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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

580 replies

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 08:33

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Bjorkdidit · 08/05/2026 09:28

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:25

No, I think it should be available to all families - not just where there is a high earner. Hence tax cuts for families with a SAHM parent.

But how will families pay their bills if they have one low to middle earner, eg £25k to £35/40k pa and one SAHP? Rent/mortgage, food, travel, utilities etc etc.

Even if they paid no tax it would be a struggle, and you're cutting welfare, so they'd not be entitled to UC. So the only alternative is to work more or starve.

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:29

TheFairyCaravan · 08/05/2026 09:25

Why do you think PIP is “given out too freely atm?” and why do you think disabled people should pay for the tax breaks for SAHMs? When I did my last PIP review I has to send in almost 500 pieces of supporting medical evidence. It’s not just a case of ringing them up, filling in a form and getting an award. It’s really hard.

What would be refreshing would be if we had some MPs, or wannabe MPs, who thought of policies without thinking “the disabled could pay for that” for a bloody change.

I have family members who literally pretended to have anxiety and ADHD and receive PIP for this. Lots of their friends have also done the same. I know it wasn’t quite that simple (they had to fill out forms), but they admit that it is completely made up. Their partner also claims carers allowance.

OP posts:
Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:31

LeekFirst · 08/05/2026 09:26

Angela Rayner had a lot of trade union experience before she was elected as an MP.

The other day I saw a clip of a 19 year old mp. I don’t think people actually care how much experience a local mp has, it only becomes relevant if you want to go into high government office

Passaggressfedup · 08/05/2026 09:32

The things that I’d love to work on would be tax cuts for families with a stay at home parent as I believe there’s massive societal benefits to having a parent at home. I’d like to make it possible for more families to have this option rather than women feeling forced back to work as soon as their maternity leave ends
So it's about and your situation. I think you would really struggle to get anyone interested in your manifesto. You appear to be living a life of privilege and have little understanding of economics.

You seem to have no understanding of the social deprivation that comes from women who have been sahm for a while and become single mums.

The worse thing for a mother is to be financially dependent on her partner. Not everyone has a rich husband who would have to give more than half his fortune if he were to trade you for a new model.

Butterme · 08/05/2026 09:32

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:18

I haven’t always had a privileged life.

But you do now and you’re wanting change for parents and are hoping they’d be your main voters.

You can’t comprehend what it’s like for the majority of parents who don’t live a privileged lifestyle when you do.
Your past doesn’t matter as much if the change you want to make is to do with children.

It’s like that MP who said he could easily live off £50 a week benefits.

I’m not saying don’t do it but you wouldn’t align to many mothers experiences because how can you speak on their behalf when you live a completely different lifestyle to the vast majority of them.

LeekFirst · 08/05/2026 09:32

Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:31

The other day I saw a clip of a 19 year old mp. I don’t think people actually care how much experience a local mp has, it only becomes relevant if you want to go into high government office

well, it depends on the party and the constituency. But most people who are selected as prospective MPs have political experience of some description.

Cooshawn · 08/05/2026 09:33

Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:31

The other day I saw a clip of a 19 year old mp. I don’t think people actually care how much experience a local mp has, it only becomes relevant if you want to go into high government office

He isn't an MP. He's the Reform leader of Warwickshire Council, and doing an absolutely terrible job.

Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:34

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:29

I have family members who literally pretended to have anxiety and ADHD and receive PIP for this. Lots of their friends have also done the same. I know it wasn’t quite that simple (they had to fill out forms), but they admit that it is completely made up. Their partner also claims carers allowance.

I have a friend who’s very similar to me (I probably also have adhd tbh just not diagnosed) she gets pip for adhd. I agree with you it should only be for severe disabilities. Who need to buy medical equipment etc. just how is money helping your adhd. All the stuff she says is her adhd is the same stuff I do haha

Butterme · 08/05/2026 09:36

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:24

I think the benefit on society would be huge. Less children and adults with mental health issues, less stress in the household, stronger family values, children raised on a better diet due to more time available etc.

Does it not run the risk of women constantly having children just so they don’t have to go back to work/pay tax?

What about women who want to work?
Essentially they’ll be penalised for choosing to have a career and their own financial independence.

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:36

Butterme · 08/05/2026 09:32

But you do now and you’re wanting change for parents and are hoping they’d be your main voters.

You can’t comprehend what it’s like for the majority of parents who don’t live a privileged lifestyle when you do.
Your past doesn’t matter as much if the change you want to make is to do with children.

It’s like that MP who said he could easily live off £50 a week benefits.

I’m not saying don’t do it but you wouldn’t align to many mothers experiences because how can you speak on their behalf when you live a completely different lifestyle to the vast majority of them.

Yes I understand that. And I know that my thoughts will differ wildly from lots of other people’s.

I would just like a voice to campaign for a return to traditional family values. I believe the decline in family values has resulted in many of the problems we have in society these days.

OP posts:
nam3c4ang3 · 08/05/2026 09:36

Hahah - yikes, youre brave OP, coming on here to say you want to be an MP for Reform - do you now know how much mumsnet hate reform and are mainly left? Anyway - i wouldnt vote for you, mainly because im a tory voter BUT i would if it meant keeping labour out. Also - you have absolutely NO background in politics (i assume?) youre a mum who wants to change things (many feel the same) so in that respect youre not special. What makes you feel YOU could be an MP? The desire or want to change something in the system is something alot of people have, but no one is saying they must be an MP because of this. Also - youre super privileged, shm because your husband earns loads? Very hard for the 'normal' person to identify with you.

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:38

Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:34

I have a friend who’s very similar to me (I probably also have adhd tbh just not diagnosed) she gets pip for adhd. I agree with you it should only be for severe disabilities. Who need to buy medical equipment etc. just how is money helping your adhd. All the stuff she says is her adhd is the same stuff I do haha

Exactly this. I would rather more money go to those who are actually disabled. Not those who have invented mental health issues (a lot of which would probably be helped by working if possible and contributing to society).

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 08/05/2026 09:39

You seem to be friends with a lot of people who game the system and more importantly don’t care about telling other people. ( have you reported them incidentally because I’d expect someone in public office to withold our laws ). I’m also interested in how we’re all going to pay for our medical insurance under Reform. How do we avoid sliding into the American system of medical treatment for only those that can afford it.

MintTwirl · 08/05/2026 09:39

OP what are you currently doing in your local community? Are you involved with any local issues? Giving your time to local causes? Joining community events?
Plenty of people have ideas about how they would change things, but you have to actually put some effort in not just have ideas.

Butterme · 08/05/2026 09:42

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:36

Yes I understand that. And I know that my thoughts will differ wildly from lots of other people’s.

I would just like a voice to campaign for a return to traditional family values. I believe the decline in family values has resulted in many of the problems we have in society these days.

I would 100% go for it OP.

You will essentially be working though and so your values about SAH to benefit children/society will be questioned.

However, someone has to do it and if you feel strongly about it then definitely do it.

ThereAreOnlyShadesOfGrey · 08/05/2026 09:42

There is one crucial element you need to be in politics.

A lack of integrity.

Because even if you start out with good intentions, it’s not possible to stay there, and integrity is the thing which you need to sacrifice to make it work.

JustAnotherWhinger · 08/05/2026 09:43

Toucantt · 08/05/2026 09:31

The other day I saw a clip of a 19 year old mp. I don’t think people actually care how much experience a local mp has, it only becomes relevant if you want to go into high government office

There are no 19 year old MPs. Sam Carling is the current youngest at 22 and Mhairi Black at 20 is the youngest there’s been recently.

Was he a councillor? The reform council guy in Warwickshire is 19.

SpanThatWorld · 08/05/2026 09:43

I have been a councillor. It is incredibly hard for parties to find enough people willing to do the donkey work of campaigning, leafleting etc and party membership in general has been declining for years. Look at the people out campaigning for the Tories and they are overwhelmingly pale, male and stale. Younger people tend less towards party membership and more towards campaigning on single issues.

It's a bit of an issue that you're not even sure which party you'd want to be part of. Sort that out, join the party, get out and do the tedious foot slog, offer to stand. You might have to stand in a "less winnable" ward first but most parties are actively looking to recruit candidates.

Being a councillor is effectively a fulltime job but you're paid an allowance of maybe a few hundred pounds a month (obviously taxable). You will have to sit through lots of meetings, become informed on the minutiae of day to day management of a local authority (weekly bin collections? reduce lunch clubs for pensioners?) and accept joint responsibility if your party decides something you dont agree with.

You will spend a huge amount of time doing casework on behalf of your constituents (my bin wasn't collected, my elderly mum can't get a carer, my family are overcrowded, my next door neighbour's child is on the trampoline every day at 3pm, we want residents' parking, we don't want residents' parking, nothing ever happens in our parks, why is something happening in our park?) and you have to work on their behalf, even when you don't agree with them.

Your public profile is everywhere. People come after you on social media. People are rude and aggressive (and so proud of themselves). Post about something you care about and the hate that comes out of the woodwork is extraordinary.

Your bio will be published but you can emphasise some bits over others. Whether or not you currently work will be far, far less important than which party you are standing for; most voting is tribal, habitual or protesting about the incumbents.

EstrellaPolar · 08/05/2026 09:43

I would just like a voice to campaign for a return to traditional family values. I believe the decline in family values has resulted in many of the problems we have in society these days.

Genuinely, why can’t you do this already today? Why can’t you do it yourself, without standing for local government?

crossedlines · 08/05/2026 09:44

I wouldn’t vote for you because you’re just spouting an opinion that’s not based on evidence. You want mothers to step out of the workplace (your posts are about SAHM not even just SAHP!) because in your opinion, you think having a mum who works is a cause of society’s problems.

Good for you if you want to stay home and have a husband shouldering all the financial responsibility. Just own that as your personal choice. Thinking it’s ‘better’ for everyone else is entirely different

chocolateaddictions · 08/05/2026 09:44

You’re not answering the questions about what you’ve done to help your local community since your children went to school. All you’re doing is standing on your single platform, your views formed by anecdotes and your privileged lifestyle. You’ll probably be great as a Reform candidate.

MeridaBrave · 08/05/2026 09:44

You’d have to be selected by your local party in an area where you’d have a chance of being elected. I looked into it. So you’d have to do a huge amount in local politics - with no certainty of being the selected candidate.

Favouritefruits · 08/05/2026 09:46

It annoys me you even have to ask! Of course a SAHP can be an MP! Even one without a degree 🙄 I think this shows you are out of touch with real people!

MeridaBrave · 08/05/2026 09:46

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 08:42

Yes. But I don’t feel like I’d appeal to voters. Where I live, everybody involved in local councils is probably close to retirement age or past it and the local mp candidates are all men aged 45+.
Ultimately I have no real career experience and I’m also not an Angela Rayner / Jess Phillips ‘struggled through being a single mum at a young age’ type either.

None of this would help (thinking you have appeal to the voters) as your local party would need to select you as the candidate.

Tangled123 · 08/05/2026 09:47

I’d love to vote for someone more like me. Someone around my age instead of older white man would definitely catch my attention but you would lose my vote based on your policies unfortunately. I don’t want to be a SAHM and candidates who want to push that agenda are likely to disagree with me in other areas too.