What is it like growing up rich?

[coulditbeme2323]

Just that really - what's it like growing up rich?

I grew up in a very normal 3 bed end terrace. We were not poor but by no means rich. Dad had a trade, Mum worked as a receptionist, maybe a week in Spain if Dad had a good year.

My husband on the other hand comes from a super wealthy family.

We have done some incredible things this year already, and I am still in awe of being able to do these things. My husband enjoys them - but its what he has been used to.

Same for our 3 kids - they have grown up wealthy - so I am actually the odd one out in the house!

This isn't new to me, we have been married 19 years so this has been my life for some while.

I suppose I never want to lose the feeling of being in awe at doing amazing things.

I grew up rich; DH grew up poor. It's principally about confidence and ease. I have never worried about when to sit, stand, cutlery, etc. DH had to learn it. I was used equally to staff growing up, not servants, so am at ease with all sorts of people and in awe of nobody. DH has made more money than my family ever had but still doesn't have confidence stamped through like seaside rock. I think it's utter nonsense that rich people can't connect with all sorts of people, ime it's poorer people who don't mix with anyone.

It's also about choice. Our DC are hardworking and ambitious but they have chosen vocations because they are financially secure.

The DC and I have never been hungry, never been cold, never felt shame, etc. At school, however, the DC rolled their eyes about the overly excessive and snooty kids, as the others. Think that's where rich and class collide though. Also, IME most rich people aren't precious and are willing to get their hands dirty: gut a fish, shovel shit, get soaked without complaint, break a nail, etc.

I book all the holidays and that sort of thing, and sometimes I feel a pang of something. I don't think guilt is the right word - but almost still amazement.

The summer holiday I booked a couple of weeks ago is more than my Dad used to earn in a year.

I suppose I never want that feeling of "this is not normal" to go away - but at the same time my husband and kids have never known anything else!

I grew up sort-of rich. We lived abroad, went to private schools, had a luxury house with extensive gardens and a pool, ate out regularly by the beach etc. My siblings and I had an amazing life, freedom to do and buy and go where we wanted. But our scale of 'rich' was absolutely nothing compared to some of my friends from school, who were multi-millionaires. As a kid, I didn't see the difference. As an adult, I feel worlds apart from them. I no longer have the freedom to live as I please, whereas they're country-hopping from one adventure to another on their generational wealth. It's crazy when I look back. I was very lucky but there's a big difference between having money and being wealthy.

Absolutely not!

I think in many ways they do.

Educated people who teach their children multiple foreign languages and music don't go to Disney.

That's really not true

I expect the rich people responding won't realise they were rich.

As someone who once worked (briefly) at Disney and knows masses of people who have or still work there - yes it is! Disney is marketed firmly at the low brow.

Again not true in my experience.

I went to school with some very wealthy people, but the difference was obvious between those with inherited wealth and those who were "rich".

The girl from inherited wealth lived in a gorgeous mansion with indoor/outdoor pools, ponies, nannies etc. They went skiing every year, to the Bahamas regularly, had a driver etc. Their parents also made sure their 3 children were all looked after, with trust funds etc and today all 3 girls have successful careers, family, own property and seem to be very happy whenever I see them.

The girl whose parents were "rich" also had a big house with an indoor pool, was given a car at 16 and went on nice holidays but at the age of 18 she and her siblings were all given access to their inheritance which was I think a couple of million each. This ended in disaster for 3 out of the 4 kids, my classmate spent everything she had before she turned 25 and has nothing to show for it today as she wasn't given any help on how to invest or spend the money and her parents were too busy/not interested in helping manage the money.

I was on the outskirts of that lifestyle for a while as I was invited to parties/playdates with them but I was a scholarship student from a lower middle class background so most definitely not my world

I grew up in a what is now an extremely rough area of the country I'm originally from. Lived in a rented flat, lots of working class people in the neighbourhood.

But I had a happy childhood - you don't know different - and my parents loved me and that was clear. As an only child, I guess I could get the LP record I had wished for for Christmas without having to save up. Dad drove a truck and mum is super clever but never had the chance of an education but managed to progress in roles that required uni education. We still did 'cultural' things though, and when we did go abroad (I'd not flown until I went to the UK - always a car holiday), we visited historical places etc.

Went to an alternative independent school (subsidised by state) - as the local one was one of the worst in the country at that stage - where my horizon was most certainly broadened! Though no one was filthy rich I distinctly remember one child having a birthday party in what I then thought was a 'castle'. And I also recall thining, 'but she's not particularly smart' as I was a bit of a geek. This actually spurred me on as I had previously thought that rich people like her family were somehow 'very special and talented'. I then realised that that is not always that case.

I worked hard, was academic and moved to the UK where I met my now husband who also was originally with parents from working class but who managed to set up their own business and did well. I had a great career, earned lots of cash in the early days before taking a step back once the kids came along.

Before meeting my husband, going out to a restaurant was really going to McDonald's or Pizza Hut. Although my mum was always good with her money - as we had so little (she worked 2 jobs) - she was never tight so I'm not frugal at all. Still, the thought of going for an afternoon tea at a 5-star hotel or going to a Michelin starred restaurant was just never something I'd considered.

Now, it's all different. I do still hugely appreciate our amazing life, in a wonderful part of greater London, nice holidays, able to go to nice restaurants etc. But I'm also the type of person to think - sod it, let's enjoy it while we can!!

So when we book holidays I'm now the person to choose places I think are special. Which is not 'bling' places but perhaps historical places with a wonderful sense of style. I don't spend on clothes but I do on experiences. Feel very blessed.

I think this is quite snobby, tbh. I know lots of well educated, middle class families who take their children to Disney (US more than France). But they also take their children to museums, read to them, discuss current affairs etc. One does not preclude the other.

I also know some families - from certain cultural backgrounds and countries where it's all about education, education, education - where perhaps they wouldn't take their kids to Disney as they would see it as a lost educational opportunity.

Which I find sad.

I, like you, grew up in a working class family. Not rich, not poor. It’s definitely sometimes weird to see my DDs having a life that would have been beyond my wildest dreams. As small children their lives were just normal to them - as teenagers they’re aware of a level of privilege. It’s been my job to keep them grounded and show them that the most important things in life cost nothing.

Our children speak three languages, they also know BSL, they both play an instrument via lessons and I seperately teach them piano. We’ve been to disney at least three times.

Yes they do. They do it as well. There's being high brow, rich and also enjoying a bit of commercialism because of the thrill it gives the children and there's being high brow, rich(ish) and intellectually snobby and a bit stingy over fun.

DH said he'd rather stick pins in his eyes than go to Disney. I insisted he go for the DC. He thought it was brilliant omce he got there. It was fabulous.

What is it like to grow up with a Dad? You sound like you had a very nice life.

"Rich" doesn't just mean money.

I didn't have a dad. My dearest wish all my life is to have a dad. To know what that is like.

Op: You sound like you had a lovely childhood- one that many people can only dream of.

He’s very happy, he’s particularly happy that our children are raised by us and not by staff.

I think its strange that you asked what is it like to grow up rich, when you sound like you had a better childhood than many people that I know OP.

Im sorry but pass me the tiny violin. Your husband grew up really wealthy, and you grew up with two parents in a nice home. You don't know what poverty is.

My dad abandoned my family when I was 2. We had to live in emergency accomodation for a while. When I was a young child. My dad refused to pay maintenence. I grew up with a single mother. We barely had enough to pay rent and bills. It was constant worry.

This thread is in bad taste. "Our children are lucky that they wont be looked after by the nanny! I get to go on great holidays!"

There are children using food banks out there. Grow up.

Are you okay? I grew up in a shared flat, how many families shared your longterm home?

We all ended up in care due to have an extremely physically and emotionally abusive parent. The woman who brought about our birth abandoning us at two would have been a dream come true. How often did you try to stay quiet when you were assaulted so your younger siblings didn’t hear and get scared? How often did you suffer a diabetic emergency because there wasn’t adequate access to food? Were you chucked out of care at 16 before you had completed your GCSEs? Did you have to live on £12 a week after your rent and bills were paid in your HMO when you were an actual child attending school fulltime and working?

Yes we go on holidays, because we’re both employed and pay for them, is paying for holidays an unusual concept for you?

Apologies that your childhood was infinity better than mine.

Yeah echoing this. We weren’t rolling in it but we were financially comfortable when I was a child. If anything I am downwardly mobile; we are OK now and have what we need but my job is perilous.

But my dad was an alcoholic and the emotional chaos leaves a lasting impact. Having money isn’t a panacea.

I grew up surrounded be wealthy people (mainly much richer than my family), and a very large number of my contemporaries went off the rails as teenagers because of drugs. Largely because they didn’t need to work for money and couldn’t settle on anything to do.

I know money seems like the answer to everything if you don’t have it but it can be a prison.

This.
i come from a poor family and started nannying in my twenties, Most families I worked for were upper middle class bordering rich I would say. I couldn’t believe that when something broke like an ipad, it was replaced almost instant. Some of these children had no respect for anything because there were few consequences. I remember one child who used throw his parents laptop around, they used to leave it on the floor!!! It broke and he wasn’t even told off. It was replaced the same week. Another child of a different family wanted a bike for Christmas, I had said in front of the parents I’m sure you’ll get one if you’ve been very good this year, the parents looked at me astonished saying ‘he doesn’t have to be good to get a bike.’

I think rich families are scared to parent personally, they can be very passive. Whenever I take my daughter to a wealthy neighborhood the kids acting up or causing terror are barely told off, it’s all ‘darling, please don’t hit mummy’,

DS GF grew up in a wealthy, they are self made multi millionaires but a down to earth family. they have an indoor swimming pool and each child had their own horse as does the Mum, they have a a good few acres so the horses are right there. House is set on a hill overlooking the fields the horses are in. They all went to a very good independent school and were brought cars when they passed their driving tests. They are very lovely people, DS and her are going strong as a couple. DS had a comfortable upbringing but we are not wealthy like them at all.

@Ceramiq will let my DH who speaks German very well and quite good French and Spanish and passable Latin and has a PhD that our trip to Disney was just a fever dream. I only speak one additional language at a quite good level. I did have a colleague who refused to take his children to Disney because it was beneath him, I just thought he was a miserable git so I do agree those people exist.