What is it like growing up rich?

[coulditbeme2323]

Just that really - what's it like growing up rich?

I grew up in a very normal 3 bed end terrace. We were not poor but by no means rich. Dad had a trade, Mum worked as a receptionist, maybe a week in Spain if Dad had a good year.

My husband on the other hand comes from a super wealthy family.

We have done some incredible things this year already, and I am still in awe of being able to do these things. My husband enjoys them - but its what he has been used to.

Same for our 3 kids - they have grown up wealthy - so I am actually the odd one out in the house!

This isn't new to me, we have been married 19 years so this has been my life for some while.

I suppose I never want to lose the feeling of being in awe at doing amazing things.

I grew up rich but my parents were never at home. My nanny and the cook took care of me. They were so lovely, I think of them till this day. I loved them so much. But my parents were strangers to me while I was growing up. I was so scared of them. My relationship with them improved when I got older, but I think my relationship with my kids is much closer.

No way!!! I got the impression from the few videos I saw that he was some short of banker, rich enough to entertain this lifestyle. It’s crazy what people do for publicity!!

Always had nice ponies and transport to take them to shows etc. Went ski ing every Feb half term and had a summer holiday. Went shooting and drag hunting and to young farmers club.

met my husband who was bought up in a council house with a single mum, couldn’t believe he had never been on a school trip or to his prom because his mum couldn’t afford it. My family aren’t super wealthy but very comfortable.

I grew up fairly comfortable my dad was a sales manager and mum a SAHM. We went on holiday every year, not abroad but this was the late 60s/70s and he had a work car, which was pretty rare back then. Lived in a four bedroom detached house with garden. When we became teenagers my three brothers and I had our own dignhy.

Dh and I both had to work, and the induries we work in were at the mercy of the global economy. We were financially screwed over the GFC in the late 2000s, and our standard of living never recovered.

After that and dh dying we very much lived on the breadline. Our treats were the odd takeaway or a trip to the cinema. Holidays were to my parents and meals out were reserved for special occasions.

I grew up comfortable but knew a fair few rich kids growing up. It’s very much a bubble.

The difference mainly is the safety net, eg no uni debt (instead the loan is invested), gifted 6 fig sums or first property outright to get on the ladder, help to move up the ladder & renovations.Investment to start a company. Private school which gives many dc an extra confidence. The phrase money goes to money is very true.

A long time ago, I once asked a very rich (as in rich-list rich) person if they knew the value of money, they said 'no, not really'. He'd dropped out of 2 unis by that point because he'd start working at his Dad's company at 21, so was just biding time.

But he did say his parents were a bit stricter than others he knew. For example, on a long weekend, school trip to Egypt, he at least had a limit (while the others didn't).

How much was it? £5,000 a day.

How does your DH feel about how he lives now?

Why were you at her birthday, you clearly aren't her friend

We’re not rich in the slightest but we’re more comfortable than either of us were growing up. It’s something I’ve conversed with colleagues about. Many of us grew up working class, some were children of miners, my mum was a dinner lady. We all feel incredibly privileged to have had the education we have and work in the field we do. I find the more middle class an academic is, the more they whine about the job. The privilege allows them to whine I suppose. It’s a bit grating.

I have several friends who grew up rich - including one who grew up in London but had never and I mean NEVER been on a London bus or the Tube until we took them aged 26! The family had a driver, used a car service and took black cabs everywhere. That blew my WC little mind!
Now being rich adjacent ( through work mainly and also earning decent money) I have had all sorts of experiences that they take for granted - like being invited to or being able to use their families holiday or spare homes in Europe or the UK. Some of which have actual staff. The housekeeper, cook, gardeners etc.
Going to sold out gigs - Taylor Swift level- or events where tickets have been acquired via their networks, going to Wimbledon because someone has debentures, being allowed to train for a sports event on their private grounds. I’ve had a flying lesson because I mentioned I always wanted to try it and someone’s mum took me up because she thought that was sweet and had her own little plane.
For the most part they’re all happy enough but boarding school has featured heavily and a few struggle with romantic relationships and definitely have issues around that. The ‘I was so lucky’ line is trotted out but one on one chats have revealed a sense of abandonment by parents who could have easily had the money and time to keep their kids at home.
Also - they really have NO idea of what it’s like to be poorer or WC and there’s a fixed idea about ‘chavs’ and people on benefits and so on.
I have one ex who works in a very well respected profession earning a lot of money and who loves it, whose parents are bewildered that they want to work at all! There’s a family trust fund. The parents seem to think friend should be floating around doing vague ‘charity’ work instead. Remember the parents from Legally Blonde?? The posh English version of that. ‘Law school??!’

I wasn't super rich but was brought up around them, so was taken on private jets to people's many other properties, had many stays in very luxurious staffed places for free, etc.

The truth is that how good your family life is is vastly, vastly more important than any of that. Some of my friends had decent families and a very nice life, others started having to attend court mediation with family members while they were still children, others suffered from vast emotional neglect and ended up alcoholic or drug addicted.

Yes, they then had the resources to attend the best rehab, but honestly nothing fills the hole left by a bad parent.

And I will say that the people I referred to in my pp don’t class themselves as rich or privileged because they aren’t on Jeff Bs level & in their bubble it’s the norm. Quite a few think people who are poor are largely there due to choices.

"Growing up rich" can mean all sorts of things. There are people who "grow up rich" and have endless consumer experiences (Disney, restaurants, luxury goods etc) and there are people who "grow up rich" and have a fantastic education, read lots of books, go to museums, learn to play instruments and are fluent in several languages because of immersive cultural experiences.

Wealthy people also enjoy the simple things in nature. Possibly disproportionately, as they can afford the leisure time, travel or even own land themselves.

Hmmm .

i grew up poor ( well for parts of it. Mum was strange with money. She still is. Will squirrel cash away and not spend it)

my children also have grown up half poor I would say 🤣 - they have had lots of hobbies/ after school activities/ always had food and a car and a secure home…. But they also have had to wait for things until payday!

they have had a holiday every year but normally in the uk

we live in a generally affluent area, and many of their friends have much more than they do, which of course is what they compare themselves with.

however on the flip side of this , when my daughter started college she had to travel 20 miles into a nearby large town, in quite a deprived area, and she has said that she feels very well off compared to some of the others in her class , so I guess it’s all relative.

Haha that’s brilliant. No Mark is lovely but comes from a relatively normal background. She met him on the jumping circuit when she was a teenager but he’s not the same bracket by a long shot. That’s why she still lives with her parents, he can’t give her the home she would want! Everything is for show, the friends, the gifted stuff, the videos. (obviously she has friends but we/they don’t like being filmed and had to be quite firm at events we’ve been to that we don’t want to be on her YouTube). It’s been a weird few years watching it play out

This is probably the biggest differentiator. They grow up with far less anxiety, shame and guilt around their choices and actions. In less well-off families, every decision you make involves a sacrifice somewhere else. It usually means depriving another family member of something so there's always an undercurrent of guilt even though you are enjoying a thing or experience you really wanted. Same for losing, breaking or wasting things. Everyday items are always seen in monetary value so the negative feelings around material objects are much stronger.

If a rich kid (accidentally) loses or breaks something, it simply gets replaced. They learn that their honest mistakes don't reflect negatively on them as a person and they don't need to carry the burden of feeling guilty they cost their parents more money that could be spent on xyz. Same for making autonomous choices such as which activities they want to do or when. I notice that a lot of wealthy families sign their children up for courses (sports, dance, creative stuff) but they don't intend to attend every single session just because it's been paid for. If the child is too tired or the day has been long or the parents have something else planned, they simply don't go. The activities are there as an enrichment option and they usually only go to 60-80% of the classes.

Another thing that's impossible to fake or acquire is the expectation that things will happen in your favour. Rich kids invariably have rich parents who are probably well connected. They use their network to get the kids experiences that aren't accessible in any other way. Could be entry to exclusive events, being able to meet and interact with successful/famous adults or getting a place in something that's already full. The concept of "sold out" or "fully booked" doesn't apply.

A final detail is that wealthy kids will rarely have the experience of interacting with total strangers. Every single doctor or dentist they visit are probably family friends with their parents, or a personal recommendation, so they're known by name as soon as they arrive. This vastly changes your perception of the world and how you get treated by others.

We grew up together, we spend a lot of time together. She isn’t my best friend, but she was at my wedding, I was at hers, vice versa our parents. Just because I am spilling the truth and don’t approve of what she puts out there and what she’s turned herself into! I’m sure she would feel the same about my life as we are at different stages

Didn’t grow up really poor but we definitely weren’t rich. Dh & I are ok, have a nice home, car, holidays etc but we aren’t what you call rich either. Ds21’s girlfriend comes from a very rich family. A family of doctors and her dad is the CEO of something or other. They are minted! They have a boat!! She might mention something she did as a kid and it’s just a million miles from my kids childhood.

@CatherinedeBourgh I'd second this. I'm from a second marriage, and grew up in a very modest way compared with the childhood of my incredibly wealthy siblings. However they have never been content. They carry a lot of resentment from their broken childhood, the fact they were largely raised by the nanny etc. If you hear them speak it's a string of negatives, they're always complaining and sad. Whereas I had a really happy childhood and am now a content adult. Learned pretty early on from watching them that money doesn't buy you happiness. Can make you more comfortable whilst you're miserable though 😂

This is probably the biggest thing, and they don't even know they have it.

That's second hand though isn't it.

Those things usually go hand in hand. in my experience.

I have to say I know quite a few wealthy people who are thick as mince! Despite the money thrown at their education they don’t bother because they knew they would never really have to work at anything.

I had friends who grew up very rich. One was forever scarred by her parents bitter divorce, another had a Christmas with no gifts as both parents were busy and assumed the other was sorting Santa. As they got older loads of money and low supervision meant drugs and educational disaster. All the holidays and cars and restaurants don't fix poor parenting.