AIBU to think I shouldn't have visited the Science Museum in a wheelchair?

[Hadaweenamechange]

Interested to know if I made a bad choice and need to consider more carefully where I visit in future?

I'm a wheelchair user, using a smallish, lightweight carbon-fibre power chair in the scenario described here. I visited the Science Museum in London yesterday with my DH. He had to be in London fairly early in the morning and then again later in the evening, with around 9 hours to spare in between. As it was a bank holiday, we arranged for me to go with him so we could spend the day together, while we had the rare chance of a few hours off at the same time.

Despite having lived in London for many, many years (we no longer do), neither of us had ever been to the Science Museum, so we decided to visit yesterday.

My, what a mistake! First of all, I realise it was a bank holiday, and I know the museum's target audience is likely to be families with children, so maybe going yesterday wasn't the smartest idea, but I wasn't prepared for just how difficult it was to navigate.

In the space of 3 hours:

• I clipped the heels of at least 5 people with the front of my chair (adults and kids), because, despite my best efforts to maintain a generous distance between me and anyone in front of me, I can't stop as quickly as someone on foot, and if you stop abruptly, I can't always stop in time

• As a result of the above, I was glared at, tutted at, stared at and on one occasion, I was pretty sure I was sworn at - it wasn't in English, but I felt the wrath in whatever the language was!

• On 3 separate occasions, I was careered into at considerable speed by over-exuberant, out-of-control children. One ran straight into me with such force that he literally landed face down on my lap. One hit his shin on my footplate, and the third one hurtled round a blind bend and ricocheted off the side of my chair. To give them credit, the accompanying adults of two of them were apologetic, but the parent/guardian of the one who hit his leg actually wanted me to go with them to find a member of staff so they could officially report it as an incident and have it recorded in the accident book, 'just in case'. Just in case of what, I'm not sure, as there was no visible mark or bleeding. The same adult also suggested that it wasn't the most ideal place to be in a wheelchair with so many children around.

• If you've visited, you'll know the museum is laid out over 4 floors. There are many sets of stairs scattered around and plenty of lifts, all of which have signs indicating that priority should be given to the elderly, pushchairs, and the less able. I was really surprised by the queues for the lifts whenever we needed to use them, and I'd guess that around 90% of those waiting were families with older children or tweens, with no obvious impediments. Not once did anyone offer to let waiting pushchair owners go in front of them, and the force with which some of the children were pushed towards the lift doors by their adults, as the doors opened, was not pretty to watch. I actually don't give a rat's bum how long I wait for a lift, after all, I'm sitting down. But to encourage your older children to push in front of parents with toddlers and pushchairs is really shitty imo.

It made for a not-very-pleasant few hours, and I felt a bit sad and crap afterwards. What do you think, wise MN'ers? Do I need to pick my venue with more care next time, or should these places be available for all to enjoy without barriers? Granted, it's been a fair few years since I owned children who required parental supervision, but I honestly don't recall ever letting our DC run rampant the way some of them were yesterday.

Terrible time to visit. I hate that place tbh. I think that it is pretty much for kids, so kids being pretty wild is to be expected & long queues for lifts etc.
I voted YABU because it was always going to be utter chaos there on May bank hol for everyone involved and you could have foreseen it would be even more difficult on this date and in a wheelchair

I am sorry you went through that ,it sounds awful. But honestly no way would I go to the Science Museum on a Bank Holiday. Whether you are a wheelchair user or not you have to pick your times!

Exactly.

I feel sorry for OP having a bad experience but I wouldn’t advise anyone going there on a BH if they didn’t have kids, regardless of whether they were in a wheelchair.

I think it’s common sense to be careful when picking a venue.
When you have a wheelchair, young kids, prams, difficulty walking, dislike of busy places etc etc then of course you take it all into consideration when planning a day out.

Sorry you had that experience, OP. I learned from experience that the Science and Nat History museums are best visited at opening time for a short time and then head over to V&A for far more civilised lunch before leaving. But that's not possible for everyone. The lifts at Science Museum are inadequate and there should be a better way to enforce the priority use for those unable to use the stairs.

The crowds are the result of free access. Which is a good thing. But has downsides.

How do you usually manage in crowded places? I expect the running children aren't as much of an issue on busy streets but ij the museum they're given more free rein by parents.

London museums are horrendous at peak times so I’m not surprised you had a horrendous experience. Please go again when it isn’t a bank holiday or a school half term to restore your faith that these places can be relaxing and inclusive.

One of my favourite things to do in London when I lived there was go to galleries and museums for the last hour of opening on a Friday night - absolute bliss.

I think it's a mixed bag op.

On one hand those kids sound like they weren't being properly watched and parents should have been more on top of things with them. Equally it sounds like you unfortunately met some of the world's unpleasant people.

However, I also think that if you're clipping people who are walking the same direction in front of you then you maybe need to allow a bit more stopping space than what you think you'll need. Obviously if they step out in front of you or step backwards that's totally different and that's on them to be more vigilant of their surroundings - there's nothing you can do about that. Equally running into people is going to hurt and they're going to have a knee jerk reaction to that given being human. Not saying you should be sworn AT but I think we all have our limits in that respect.

I'm not a wheelchair user but I do hate going places like that when I know it's going to be really busy as I hate feeling crowded and it gives me anxiety (and a little smidgeon of rage), I hate feeling like I can't go at the pace I want to go at and because of rude people and kids out of control like you've experienced. I know it's not remotely the same but I remember trying similar with a pram once a couple of years ago and it was just a horrendous experience and I actively avoided anything that busy again because I know the experience won't be as accessible by nature due to the amount of people as opposed to the planning.

So no I don't think yabu to want to attend on any day of the week you choose, I don't think yabu to expect adequate accessibility and for people to be more aware but I do think the issue really in that moment is the sheer level of footfall as well as the ignorance of the general public rather than anything the venue itself could have done differently. Our local museum has two lifts and perhaps they could maybe restrict one for those with accessibility needs/prams and one for general use but then how you police that would difficult to enforce fairly as some accessibly needs would be hidden.

I'm sorry it was a bit of a shit experience op. Eta: would it be worth contacting the museums team to discuss it to see if there is anything you felt could be improved in a practical way?

I am sorry you had such an awful experience, as others have said, it probably wasn’t the best day to visit, and maybe the V and A next door would have been a better choice, but I hope you do go back at a quieter time and have a better experience because it is amazing , the building alone is an engrossing and fascinating example of design and embellishment ( lifts notwithstanding!).

But nothing excuses the rudeness of the people you encountered and their behaviour was appalling.

this. You are of course entitled to visit any museum, whenever you want, but personally as an adult without small kids I would avoid major museums on BH/school holidays like the plague, wheelchair or not.

A lot of what you've said sounds like it could have happened to anyone - out of control kids could have easily careened into anyone, and actually caused more damage to other kids/adults who were wobbly on their feet for whatever reason. Similarly people stopping unexpectedly could result in someone else walking into them.

It might be worth feeding back some of your experience to the museum - they should prioritise accessibility, diversity, etc. Obviously there's not much they can do about people being inconsiderate but they could, for example, consider making their signs bigger or have the lift voice recording telling people to give priority (because some people just don't read!), or, if enough people complain about how busy it was, consider restricting ticket numbers further.

Even the best behaved children are rather hard to control when they are swept up by the excitement of the science museum over bank holiday weekend. I was once tasked with taking two of my friends' kids who are usually absolute darlings and they turned into feral creatures as soon as we crossed the threshold. So it is definitely a case for picking a better time. My friend and I used to go mid week and it's almost deserted then.

I had a similar experience regarding the lifts the day I took my stepmother in a wheelchair to Tate Modern - it was a real eyeopener. I sympathise

It’s not your fault, I think anywhere like that would just be hell on earth on a bank holiday! London generally I find really inaccessible when you have babies and toddlers, or even suitcases! Lifts seem to barely be working on the tubes and everywhere is so busy it’s claustrophobic. I visited once and never again until they’re a lot older…I’m a fully fledged country girl now 😅

I despise the whole of South Kensington and its many museums and steer well clear personally. But you absolutely shouldn't feel that you shouldn't have gone if that's what you wanted to do. You've as much right to be there as anyone else. The museums aren't just for children or able bodied people.

I know it's not at all the same, but once I had a baby in a pram around London I was shocked by the lack of consideration at times by other people and it made me think how difficult it must be for wheelchair users like yourself. Things like people barging in front to get on trains and using lifts when not necessary. The number of stations without step free access. At least with a baby you can carry up the pram or fold it up worst comes to worst so I imagine days out must take considerable planning at times.

I think you should have every right to go wherever you want and people should be more more respectful and thoughtful.

Well, both - obviously you're totally entitled to be where you like when you like, AND museums tend to be rammed on bank holidays and kids in large groups, maybe a bit hyped up by being on a fun day out, are frequently crap at watching where they're going, being aware of surroundings, not stopping dead in stupid places and so on, and that won't change. I think you just have to make your decisions about when to go places based on whether you think you'll be able to enjoy it, not on whether a few inconsiderate people might get their ankles knocked. That's how they learn.

I would expect it to be like that on a bank holiday tbh and would avoid it as an able-bodied person. Busy places crowded with children are best avoided by anyone!

I think your No 1 mistake was going on a BH. I would not go near any museum in London on a BH. I'm sorry you had a crap time but it's definitely circumstances ie BH. People are very entitled.and I'm shocked able body people chose the lift. Kds running into your chair, well there have always been shoddy parenting . Maybe revisit mid week in the winter.i suggest January when everyone is hibernating..good luck OP, sorry you had a horrible time, the science museum is fantastic

No idea how to vote but obviously the only thing you did "wrong" was to time your visit so badly. As an able-bodied person, I'd have had trouble getting around the museum on such a busy day without conflict. I'm sorry you had such a shit time, but instead of feeling dejected about it I think you should mentally award yourself a trophy for having survived such horrendous conditions intact and without punching any of those fuckers on the nose!

The Science Museum gets stupid busy and we only ever go at opening time to enjoy it before rammed. It is simply unenjoyable later in the day even before any mobility issues.

The kids racing and lifts is super annoying but I think if you repeatedly clipped people who were walking in front of you then perhaps you weren’t leaving enough room. In a museum people will naturally be stopping to look at items and restarting so if this was a regular problem then in your position I would be thinking about how I could manage it.

The SciMus and NHM next doors are glorified playgrounds, and to be avoided as much as possible, especially during bank holidays (also half term and Christmas - the summer holidays are fine, especially from 3pm onwards). The lifts are always crammed with pushchairs. I know this because I used to work in one of them.

Fwiw if the staff want a quiet break they go to the V&A across the road. Likely to be far more wheelchair friendly too as they have far more older adult visitors.

Fascinating that your take on the fact that you hurt ‘at least’ 5 people who didn’t anticipate that there was a wheelchair user coming towards them as an inconvenience to you and include this on your list of annoyances rather than having any empathy. Stopping in a museum is pretty expected and not unreasonable in my view. If someone hit me and didn’t apologise I would be annoyed as well. The wheelchair might be light but having your momentum behind it on a small point of impact would have made it painful. I get that it must be frustrating, but consideration works both ways.

I think you do need to pick more carefully yes. Not because of your chair but because the world is full of selfish entitled cunts who are now breeding the second generation of same.

I am not a wheelchair user and I pick very carefully, I go to places like the NHM or Science Museum (with my autistic teen) very much mid week and out of season, so a cold Wednesday in January for example as chances are there will be fewer of them about. My eldest has Cerebal Palsy and he is very selective about where and when he goes to places because he is treated with such disrespect, and as a mobile inconvenience.

Its not how it should be, but its how it is. I sorry that you experienced it.

Are you fucking SERIOUS?!

I personally wouldn’t give way to a person in a wheelchair in the lifts to be honest .. it’s all about waiting in turn 🤷‍♀️
However, I’ve just come back from London and I’m genuinely shocked at how you would manage the tube? There were so many stations that don’t have lifts - we struggled with slight mobility issues, and the whole weekend all I could think was how are wheelchair users supposed to get around??

Why wouldnt you give way though? In the SM there are stairs on all levels, you have a choice, they dont. If you have a kid in a buggy, you can do it on stairs (6 kids here, yes you can) even with a toddler there too. They literally have no other choice.

Clearly you are happy with your selfishness though so probably no point in asking.

I’m not being selfish at all. Everyone has the right to use the lift. I would wait in turn, same as the wheelchair user. I wouldn’t be there waiting for it if I could use the stairs, would I?