Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset that family members thought it funny to frighten my son and film it?

106 replies

Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 10:41

If you saw a video of your child running down the road hysterically crying and screaming and adults aged between 27-30 laughing, filming and screaming out RUUUUN (because they had been playing knock down ginger) how would you react? He thought he had people running after them.
me and dh was away for the weekend and left our children with my daughter (younger child 8 stayed with my parents) but then went to stay with dd on the Sunday, younger one is autistic and our ds 10 I suspect has something there too. It was my 10yo that was hysterical but they seemed to find it oh so funny to see him in such a state and I’ve now been made to feel like I have over reacted at seeing my child in distress after leaving them with family that I love and trust to look after him. There has been a massive fall out as my mum has tried to defend the adults and make excuses for them, they haven’t been told that it was out of order and you shouldn’t scare kids like that and I have had no apology at all, had they of taken accountability for it and said actually watching that video it does look really bad and I’m so sorry for upsetting him then I would be able to move on from it, but nothing, in fact my daughter sent me a message telling me I was out of order for arguing with my mum for defending them. My mum seems to think it will all blow over but without them seeing what they actually did wrong I don’t think I can move on from it. I trusted these people and they have completely broken that trust now. Have I overreacted? Is that something loving family members find amusing? To see a little boy so distressed and laugh and carry it on making it worse? Just to add it was my dd, dn and their partners. Sorry if I’m not making much sense I’ve hardly slept for 2 nights. We are a very close family so this fall out has hit me hard.

OP posts:
CoastlineAtlantic · 05/05/2026 13:55

Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 12:46

I called my niece as it was mainly her and her partner causing it, my daughter was just really laughing at the reaction, my 8yo is autistic and swears a lot when upset so he was swearing whilst running so I think they was laughing at that mainly but then you hear my niece and then her bf scream run again. When I asked her how she’d feel if I scared their kids she said she wouldn’t be fazed by it, she thinks it’s funny

Show quote history

Oh OP, I'm really sorry for your DS, and what a shame none of those adults who were meant to looking out for your DS, had any empathy or feeling of "being in his shoes" , while he was being frightened and ridiculed and made to feel scared and made fun of.

They are immature, to say the least, and again, not to be trusted with the care for your DS.
Knowing he's Autistic makes this whole situation even more awful and harmful. Honestly, I wouldn't let this tribe look after a pet, never mind an 8y old with Autism.

Feis123 · 05/05/2026 13:59

I would not let it slide, this one. I would pay them back. Oh, no, nothing serious, just a little 'joke' to make them sweat - a fake letter from an STD clinic? A court summons? Then laugh and say how funny it is. But let a few months pass, so it would not be obvious. I am sure there are dozens of better, cleverer scenarios if you put your mind to it.

Decoratingisnotmyforte · 05/05/2026 14:04

Sorry if I've misunderstood, adults between 27 - 30 were playing knock a door run? If that is the case these people do not sound like they have the mental capacity to care for a child, no.

PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 14:08

I don’t actually understand anything about this but I would be furious at my daughter.

Pickapocket · 05/05/2026 14:15

@Mrsknowitall if you hadn’t reacted the way you did and joined in with the laughing at your own distressed son when watching the video, would they have found that reaction normal?

Your ‘close’ relatives are cruel. Including your adult daughter for finding this funny and not protecting your son.

But because of your reaction to it, they are making you the problem not their actions. The more you push your opinion onto them to gain their understanding, the more they will push back that you’re the problem.

Stand strong. Just wait for them to come to you. They’ll not do it again that’s for sure.

Pickapocket · 05/05/2026 14:18

Feis123 · 05/05/2026 13:59

I would not let it slide, this one. I would pay them back. Oh, no, nothing serious, just a little 'joke' to make them sweat - a fake letter from an STD clinic? A court summons? Then laugh and say how funny it is. But let a few months pass, so it would not be obvious. I am sure there are dozens of better, cleverer scenarios if you put your mind to it.

Revenge does balance things.

Uricon2 · 05/05/2026 14:27

Apart from the upset to your poor little boy, knock down ginger is a pain in the arse for some on the receiving end, including old people who might risk falling in hurrying to answer the door (or my late DH when he was having cancer treatment and we lived on a route to a school) OK, kids don't get that aspect but grown adults should.

Witchonenowbob · 05/05/2026 14:31

Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 12:46

I called my niece as it was mainly her and her partner causing it, my daughter was just really laughing at the reaction, my 8yo is autistic and swears a lot when upset so he was swearing whilst running so I think they was laughing at that mainly but then you hear my niece and then her bf scream run again. When I asked her how she’d feel if I scared their kids she said she wouldn’t be fazed by it, she thinks it’s funny

Show quote history

She’s lying or a poor mother!

EmmaSummerHat · 05/05/2026 14:56

I’d be fuming! I really hate pranks

diddl · 05/05/2026 15:05

PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 14:08

I don’t actually understand anything about this but I would be furious at my daughter.

I'm a bi confused also about who was where!

Didn't your daughter want to look after her siblings?

Doesn't she like them?

PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 15:13

diddl · 05/05/2026 15:05

I'm a bi confused also about who was where!

Didn't your daughter want to look after her siblings?

Doesn't she like them?

Show quote history

I read it a few times over now and I still don't really understand. Who was in charge of the children here?

diddl · 05/05/2026 15:18

PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 15:13

I read it a few times over now and I still don't really understand. Who was in charge of the children here?

Show quote history

No capable adults by the sounds of things!

Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 15:19

PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 15:13

I read it a few times over now and I still don't really understand. Who was in charge of the children here?

Show quote history

My dd (27) and her partner was babysitting my 10yo on Friday and Saturday night then my 8yo joined them on Sunday after spending a couple of days with my parents. They was then met by my niece, her partner and 2 young dc. They had been out for something to eat in town then on the walk between town and my dd’s friends house they decided to play a stupid game. They then got a cab back to my dd’s house to stay another night. I saw the video around 10pm had we of seen it earlier we would have packed up and left.

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 05/05/2026 15:21

Well this is 100% your daughter's fault, whoever was laughing most she was in charge and she let this happen. I wouldn't leave any of my children with anyone in this story again though - there's no reason to prank a vulnerable 10 year old and once something isn't funny for everyone it shouldn't be funny for anyone.

ByUniqueViper · 05/05/2026 20:30

Thats not funny at all. Its disgraceful. Why would they do that to a child. Its mean and cruel. They need to be accountable for their poor behaviour.
I suspect your mum is trying to stop a fall out rather than taking sides.
They all need to apologise to you and your child

TheOccupier · 05/05/2026 21:00

You are focussing on the wrong thing here. Your relatives do sound like immature arseholes but why aren't you annoyed that they taught your kids to play a selfish, nasty game? Is it all fine if it's only other people being frightened and disturbed? Sounds to me like DS could learn a lesson from this (FAFO)!

Petrolitis · 05/05/2026 21:08

I can't be too specific as its outing however as a child one of my parents told me I was going to shortly die.

They said that something had happened to me and I would die. I would have been about eight at the time.

They and others including my own mother then laughed as I screamed and cried, begging to be taken to hospital to get the medicine I needed to save my life.

Ive never, ever recovered from that incident and I never trusted my parents again.

People who do things like that are sadistic devils.

Pippa12 · 05/05/2026 21:10

This is awful behaviour.

I did wonder if they find this funny, what on earth goes on that you don’t see? No wonder your DS needs ‘working up’ to spending time away from home.

Your right to be furious. I could never look them in the eye terrifying your child when he already feels vulnerable at his parents being away.

Dick heads.

Mischance · 05/05/2026 21:17

It's about power. Weilding gratuitous power over a child just for the sake of it is not acceptable ... and to film it???

On YouTube there are so many videos where adults have filmed children (often quite small) in distress, confused, frightened ... just why? The child needs a hug ....

Throwntothewolves · 05/05/2026 21:21

YANBU, poor lad. This is a horrible thing to do.
I guess you won't be going away and leaving him or your other children with the 'adults' in your family anymore (including your mum, who supported it).

Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 21:36

Throwntothewolves · 05/05/2026 21:21

YANBU, poor lad. This is a horrible thing to do.
I guess you won't be going away and leaving him or your other children with the 'adults' in your family anymore (including your mum, who supported it).

Absolutely not, I’ve now lost my family support over this and not one person has reached out to me to say they was out of order and it shouldn’t of happened so that speaks volumes to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 21:37

Petrolitis · 05/05/2026 21:08

I can't be too specific as its outing however as a child one of my parents told me I was going to shortly die.

They said that something had happened to me and I would die. I would have been about eight at the time.

They and others including my own mother then laughed as I screamed and cried, begging to be taken to hospital to get the medicine I needed to save my life.

Ive never, ever recovered from that incident and I never trusted my parents again.

People who do things like that are sadistic devils.

That’s awful, I don’t understand the mentality of some people to want to see a child with fear on their face x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 21:39

Thank you all for validating my feelings as I thought I was going mad not having my family back me up on this one 😢

OP posts:
ButterYellowFlowers · 05/05/2026 21:42

Its never nice to see your child so upset. And if he has additional needs that obviously explains why he was upset and that’s horrible. But if he was neurotypical I’d think he was having an extreme reaction tbh which is probably what your family is thinking. Hes almost at secondary school but was hysterically crying at playing Knock a Door… that’s unexpected for his age. And not his fault, but I wouldn’t blame the adults for not anticipating he would react like that. However I do agree that they should have apologised to him and comforted him when he clearly was distraught.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 05/05/2026 21:43

Mrsknowitall · 05/05/2026 21:36

Absolutely not, I’ve now lost my family support over this and not one person has reached out to me to say they was out of order and it shouldn’t of happened so that speaks volumes to me.

Show quote history

It’s painful to lose your support system and loved ones. Reframe it with yourself that they have lost you and your boy’s. I cannot understand your daughter’s mentality, she’s 27 not 7, her and her partner are weird as fuck, idiots, and your mother, take the high road, don’t bend.
They need to realise that there are consequences to their actions.