AIBU to be upset that family members thought it funny to frighten my son and film it?

[Mrsknowitall]

If you saw a video of your child running down the road hysterically crying and screaming and adults aged between 27-30 laughing, filming and screaming out RUUUUN (because they had been playing knock down ginger) how would you react? He thought he had people running after them.
me and dh was away for the weekend and left our children with my daughter (younger child 8 stayed with my parents) but then went to stay with dd on the Sunday, younger one is autistic and our ds 10 I suspect has something there too. It was my 10yo that was hysterical but they seemed to find it oh so funny to see him in such a state and I’ve now been made to feel like I have over reacted at seeing my child in distress after leaving them with family that I love and trust to look after him. There has been a massive fall out as my mum has tried to defend the adults and make excuses for them, they haven’t been told that it was out of order and you shouldn’t scare kids like that and I have had no apology at all, had they of taken accountability for it and said actually watching that video it does look really bad and I’m so sorry for upsetting him then I would be able to move on from it, but nothing, in fact my daughter sent me a message telling me I was out of order for arguing with my mum for defending them. My mum seems to think it will all blow over but without them seeing what they actually did wrong I don’t think I can move on from it. I trusted these people and they have completely broken that trust now. Have I overreacted? Is that something loving family members find amusing? To see a little boy so distressed and laugh and carry it on making it worse? Just to add it was my dd, dn and their partners. Sorry if I’m not making much sense I’ve hardly slept for 2 nights. We are a very close family so this fall out has hit me hard.

I can’t get my head around adults knocking doors and running away , it’s quite sinister.

I don't understand it at all, were they getting the kids to knock doors and run away while they watched and filmed? Were they houses of people they knew and knew what they were doing? Were they all drunk? Sounds like a very strange type of entertainment for adults. Report them to the police for antisocial behaviour that might sober them up a bit.

I’m failing to understand why anyone has voted that YABU! You are most definitely NBU. Hope your DC is ok.

I would be incredibly upset by this too. I'm upset for you and DC just reading it. It is a really calculated, mean thing to do. Fuck them off.

I hate those videos of adults scaring children. What sick freaks get their kicks like that?
I don’t even particularly like children but I don’t want to see them frightened!

Your DS will have had his trust shaken in these so-called adults in his life, and OP, you shouldn't trust them either.

Sorry if I missed it, but did you take the adults aside and actually ask them why they would do such a nasty thing to your DS?

I would want to know who and why did they play such a mean prank on their young relative to have a laugh at his expense, and filming it, even though 'they can' do that, makes it so so much worse, thanks to the indiscriminate usage of SM.
I would cut ties with them for a while if it were me, maybe longer, they are not trustworthy and shouldn't be looking after your DC.

I called my niece as it was mainly her and her partner causing it, my daughter was just really laughing at the reaction, my 8yo is autistic and swears a lot when upset so he was swearing whilst running so I think they was laughing at that mainly but then you hear my niece and then her bf scream run again. When I asked her how she’d feel if I scared their kids she said she wouldn’t be fazed by it, she thinks it’s funny

This is horrible @Mrsknowitall. You are not overreacting at all. I would be furious! What the fuck is wrong with them? Are they sociopaths? How can you laugh at a child in distress? Your poor little boy. I would never ever leave him with them again and I wouldn't want to see them again either tbh. Despicable behaviour! So sorry OP for you and your boy..

They are all idiots your Dd included how can an adult find a frightened and an over stimulated sweary nd child funny ? They were supposed to be looking after them.

People have become SO stupid haven’t they. Anything for likes and videos. Your poor son. Why is your daughter such a knob? Does she dislike her own sibling? What idiots. Don’t ever leave your children with them again. Your mum is a knob too.

Wow, how cruel! Feel so sorry for their children, no one to protect them from parents’ so called sense of humour. I hate any type of punching down and frightening a child is just the lowest. Presumably booze was involved making them unsuitable to be in charge of children. That your child is particularly vulnerable makes things even more disgraceful. Would never speak to any again especially your mother. The thought of her not backing up her grandson is vile. Is she usually this nasty. Only pro is that you know where you stand and what you have raised.
Only way I would think again is if they could understand the damage caused and profoundly and sincerely apologise, are ashamed of themselves and try to make amends to your poor son. Also need to examine their drinking. Hope niece’s parents get it. Sadly these people live amongst us.

I’ll never understand people who get enjoyment from terrifying a child. These are the same sort who will take advantage of anyone vulnerable. Please don’t leave your children with these people ever again.

I still remember my uncle chasing me with a huge daddy long legs as a 4yo and pushing it down my jumper. He knew I was terrified of them. Although this was seen as ‘harmless’ by all the adults, it completely destroyed my relationship with my uncle. Even now as an adult, I have no respect for him.

Absolute bollocks. If I had one, I’d bet the farm she’d have a baying mob and pitchforks out if anyone so much as looked sideways at her child, let alone frightened them. She just doesn’t want to admit she was in the wrong. If I am wrong and she genuinely wouldn’t be concerned by an adult frightening her child, then perhaps she’s not a very good mum?

in fact my daughter sent me a message telling me I was out of order for arguing with my mum for defending them Wow. Saucy little fucker your DD, isn’t she? How did you respond to that?

I think your DD, your DN and their partners did a stupid thing with the knockdown ginger, followed by a bloody cruel thing and they’ve refused to accept responsibility for that. Only you can decide what the consequences of that will be, but I wouldn’t be leaving my child alone with any of them ever again. I think that you do have to accept that the closeness of your family might have taken a hit though. For it to go back to what it was, either they would have to apologise and mean it, or you’d have to swallow it and pretend you think you overreacted, especially the filming of it. I don’t think you have overreacted.

Adults doing that on our street would have their ring screenshots circulating on the street whatsapp within an hour.

Grown adults shiuld be ashamed of themselves terrifying a little boy .
They all need to apologise profusely at the very least

I can barely understand what has happened but it all sounds very Jeremy Kyle.
If it’s your DD why does you mum need to tell them they were out of order? Tell her yourself!!

A child's distress and fear should never be entertainment for adults. I would be furious.

Indeed.

But there’s so much of this vile stuff about. I’ve seen social media videos of toddlers shouting and screaming at new baby siblings, and the parents laughing at them. Bloody awful.

A joke is only a joke if everyone finds it funny. If someone is distressed its bullying. I would be furious, OP.

I’d be fuming and go mad at the adults. I find this kind of thing quite sick and the people I know who pull these stunts tend to show multiple instances of sadism and it’s always directed at children/those they perceive as weaker or more vulnerable (otherwise they wouldn’t get the ‘hilarious’ reaction they’re looking for). They are always quick to play the victim when told about themselves.

If an adult knocked my door and ran away I’d assume they were an opportunistic criminal or a vulnerable person that needed adequate supervision.
Honestly I couldn’t continue a civil relationship with them , absolute idiots .

How old was the daughter you left your child with.
Is she used to looking after children? She sounds immature and probably not the best person to look after her siblings

I can't stand this type of 'joke' where adults literally scare / upset children and then film it. I have seen these things on Tik Tok and I don't feel it's an overreaction to say that this is abusing children, tormenting them for views. It's really horrible and not funny. YANBU - they are assholes.

I'd be RAGING! There's a reason I don't participate in practical jokes and I'd go mad if my kids were on the receiving end. YANBU

My husband's uncle has a thing for practical jokes and he's an absolute cunt