Would you be ok with being celibate 56?

[TimeForWineAndSun]

DH and me always have had mismatched sex drives. Mine average. His low. I am now 56 and he’s 53. Sex has now ground to a halt. I’m obviously unhappy with that but menopause has meant that I can live with it (just). But I do miss it! Is 56 an ok age to just hang up my boots?

I was pretty much over it by the time I was 35! Now almost 42 I've been celibate for 4.5 years. Really not bothered.

The question is a bit redundant because it doesnt matter if every single person on this thread said yes, they'd be cool with it because if YOU arent, then its not ok is it?

You say you can live with it "just"- that doesnt sound very fulfilling to me. I also think your husband needs a medical check- 53 is not old by any means and most men I know in their 50s are still going at it as much as they can. It would be different if he was in his 80s but in his 50s he should still have a libido.

Using language like died inside is really concerning and I think deep down you know thats not right. Life is short. Dont live it feeling dead inside.

That was me when I was pregnant. Like utterly insatiable. Ten years later? It's gone. Nada.

How long has it been or did I miss that bit ? Sorry x

Thanks everyone. It seems that most people my age wouldn't be too bothered. I think I'm maybe more bothered now about it "on paper". It just sounds way too young. The fact we are both overweight isn't helping. We are both body conscious and have bellies. Which makes sex a bit embarrassing and physically awkward, iyswim. Maybe we should tackle that, lose some weight and hope that is a jump start to more. We both drink too much too.

It’s not very fair when it’s not your choice.
Fine when both parties are on board with it.

Sounds like you've identified the real issue here - you get on well, love each other etc. (the really very important stuff) but also destress by drinking/eating too much and of course that's going to impact your libido when you're late 50s, even without the practical awkwardness of it all when you're uncomforable with your new body shape. No need to try to aspire to be a younger fake influencer type but paying attention to sleep (I understand of course that shift work can make that much harder), booze weekends only, largely mediterranean diet, hormone check, upping exercise (at home with hand weights if the gym isn't appealing) will give you both a renewed lust for life... sounds like you both need to remind yourselves and each other that you are worth taking care of.