To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

I don’t want her eating just ham. Which I think is reasonable enough - I know she would eat crisps, ham and lollies so obviously I don’t offer them because I’d rather she ate a slightly more balanced diet @turkishdeelitee

This is madness.

You're saying she won't eat l, you're going to stop feeding her,vbut then there's a list of things you know she will eat?

Is there a history of ED because this is disordered eating by proxy.

Of course you'd rather her eat a more balanced diet but the REALITY is she's literally not eating enough.

You need to get her eating again at all costs so give her the food she will actually eat before it's too late.

one of my daughters lived on banana yogurt, cucumber and fish fingers and chips for a few months when she was a similar age. I gave her vitamin and mineral supplements but I was very worried. When she started school and saw other people kids eating normally she started to eat more things. I remember her coming home from school one day saying ‘ I like ham now’ . It was very exciting! She is 27 now and eats most things.

Wow op. You are rude. I was simply asking as often posters say their child snacks /has milk etc hence my reply

plus when you ask for help , people will reply with various advice. It is a suggestion. Not an order !!!

and you later mention you offer a snack of a banana or a healthy snack

she also knows that you will offer her milk at the end of the day so will drink that /not go hungry

so I would suggest - not order - 🙄 that you stop the milk

same with the ham. You know something she likes and will eat it. So offer it.

pick your battles - buy good quality ham - maybe try gammon

but again it’s offering advice. Not an order

I’ve worked with various children over the years /decades with eating disorders

if you are worried and fair enough to be at her limited diet - then need to speak to doctors and get their advice via a nutritionist

do you sit with her when she is eating - or try and eat meals as a family /together ?

she may also eat more /better at school when she sees other children eat the same food

thank you @SnappyQuoterAnd @Blushingm@66babe @BleedinglyObvious@TapestryNeedle@Floatlikeafeather2for your reply of support

sorry for late reply. Been out in the real world and came back to various tags

And she clearly asked two questions at the beginning of her post. To assume you might offer snacks rather than the child eats absolutely nothing is hardly rude anyway?

If she eats ham then give it her. Add crackers and cheese to the plate too.

My 22 month old has a very limited diet - he eats only eats 6 foods.

We are under a dietician at GOSH. The advice we've been given is to keep offering the safe foods he will eat and offer a small selection of new foods alongside and be consistent with which foods we offer. We're also trying food chaining to try and expand his diet.

Someone said our job is to offer 3 healthy meals a day plus snacks. If they choose not to eat it, we've still performed our job.

Has this been going on for a while? Ours has been at least 9 months so not considered a phase. If you've had a long time of this I would advise speaking to your GP and asking for a referral to a dietician. It can take a while to be seen so worth getting the ball rolling if you think you may need further support.

Our local community centre has run special sessions for fussy eating in toddlers which we've been able to attend. One was a sensory play session where the children could play with food. There may be something similar in your area?

Is she drinking? And if so how much or little? Everyone focuses on milk, but I know me and my youngest DD , can go both go from evening meal to evening meal without eating in between, and I can go even longer if I don’t have any water. It’s like my brain hasn’t told my stomach it’s awake time?

Problem with MN threads is they often fixate on one thing. I’m not having her eat ham and only ham, and she would if she thought that was an option. Others of course may make different choices but at the moment her diet is healthy albeit limited.

If you feel my reply on page 1 was rude report it 👍🏻 your horror does not need noting.

I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you're worried about upfs and the ham, you could make your own?
You are having a laugh, yes?

That did make me laugh as I had visions of slaughtering a pig 😂

It’s better than her starving herself. You could add other stuff to the plate too eg veg and a carb. Most children like cheese so add that too.

OP my DC1 was a shocking eater until they went to school. My advice would be to focus less on breakfast and lunch being super healthy (which I know is not ideal in the long term) and offer her something, anything that she may consider eating.

My DC1 would always eat a fruit pouch, and to be fair they still love them all these years later! I know the calorie content on them is very low but at the very least it would give her a little bit of energy. Also cereal bars like Orangix oat bars always went down well and Pom Bears.

Terrible advice. Never do that

You weren’t asking - you told me to stop giving her snacks which would be fine if I’d mentioned snacks; I didn’t. But to be honest, it’s a bit of a stalemate as you think I was rude and I think you were rude so let’s leave it there.

every Professional we have seen with DS has made a point of the most important factor being calories in when they have a very restricted diet. It’s better to eat something that nothing. If the diet is as restrictive as you say then let her eat what she will. Don’t make issues over what she does eat!

one of mine suddenly became a very very picky eater and I really was worried they weren't eating enough..

So we tried things like a big plate or even a tray or one of those divided plates with small amounts of things dotted on it... eg.. a few grapes, babybel or piece of cheese, a small cracker, a bit of banana, a spoon of greek yogurts, One little sandwich. etc... and they could choose what to have. Plate goes back in the fridge without comment to be topped up next time... then gradually put increase the small heaps of normal food on the plate., But also try to make mealtimes routine, so it becomes a habit.

I also tried getting him to help cook.. he didn't have to eat it... (It helped to get most of the stuff ready before starting as they'd get bored with measuring and wander off) but we made it a play thing and he did like eating the results... even if it was just a bite or two... I think we made muffins you can add some healthy ingredients etc. Pancakes were also popular with toppings laid out for them to choose.

I know someone whose child would only tolerate marmite sandwiches.. but unfortunately I can't remember how they coped with this. I think they just grew out of it.

Can people not read?

The poster said, 'Stop the snacks and sure she will eat'. ie assumed the OP gives snacks.
If they wanted to make it not sound like an order, and one based on absolutely no knowledge, they could have said e.g., 'I don't know if you are giving snacks, but if you are, stop them'.

Having raised it for at least a year first

You could try making a menu (of images) and let her circle what she wants but she probably just isn’t hungry. I think if she eats well at dinner you don’t need to worry about afrid

My daughter seemed to run on a bit of a 48hour eating schedule at that age. She also got bored easily so grazing plates while playing worked best. Pre-school helped most of all because when they all sit down together to a set lunch she would sit and eat the lot along with everyone else.

You did say she had a big snack in one of your comments though 🙈

I said she had no breakfast and then had a snack of strawberries yes.

She is offered

breakfast
mid morning snack
lunch
mid afternoon snack
dinner

that is actually recommended by the NHS. It’s rather different to filling up on snacks throughout the day which was insinuated and isn’t even true as she doesn’t even eat the snack half the time!

Tbh I am finding it tedious as hell all the faux horror at my ‘rudeness.’ Just report it and move on 🙄

You keep responding

So in a typical 24 hours what does she eat?